Bart and Todd Flanders decide to enter a miniature golf tournament. Homer becomes confident that Bart will win and makes a bet with Ned that the father of the boy that does not win will have to mow their neighbors lawn in their wife's Sunday dress.
Season 2's golf-obsessed episode hits 82 with 53 jokes across 22 minutes, anchored by escalating Flanders rivalry.
Directed by Rich Moore · Written by Jeff Martin
WAR
50.9
Wins Above Replacement
“Dead Putting Society” ranks #109 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 82.6 — Elite. The episode packs 53 scored jokes at 3.3 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.9 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: Your wife's butt is higher than my wife's butt. You make me sick.
Homer Cringe/Discomfort Escalation ★ Rewatch Homer: Oh, my God. He's enjoying it!
Homer Reaction Beat Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer · Ned: You're welching on our bet? -What? Neither boy lost. -But neither-- We-- You have to do it too. -Small price to see you humiliated.
Homer Ned Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Homer: Remember what Vince Lombardi said! 'Lose, and you're out of the family.'
Homer Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Homer Character Comedy Visual Gag ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 53 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer: Bust my hump all week. Stupid grass! Supposed to be the boy's job.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Bart: You heard the lady, Homer. So please mow quietly. Genius at work.
Bart Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Bart: One o'clock. Still just a potato.
Bart Deadpan/Understatement Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Homer: Hi, Flanders. -Doing yard work? -Who told? Marge, beer me.
Homer Character Comedy Reaction Beat Homer: There's nothing wrong with crabgrass. It just has a bad name. Everyone would love it if it was called 'elfgrass.'
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Don't toy with me, woman.
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Ned: We've only been neighbors for one, two, three, four-- Eight years.
Ned Character Comedy Misdirection Ned: There's my little popcorn ball. Kissy, kissy.
Ned Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer: Beggars can't be choosey.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Todd Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer: Your wife's butt is higher than my wife's butt. You make me sick.
Homer Cringe/Discomfort Escalation ★ Rewatch Homer Character Comedy Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Homer · Marge: Well, it was how he said it. -How did he say it? -He.... -Was he angry? -No. -Rude? -It wasn't how he said it either... but the message was loud and clear. Our family stinks.
Homer: Don't backpedal. You were right. He's perfect. Perfect in every way.
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Homer: I'm not perfect, like Ned Flanders.
Reverend Lovejoy: Probably stepped on a worm.
Reverend Lovejoy: Oh, Matthew 19: 19, yeah, right.
Homer: 'Bosom.' Wait, wait, there's more.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Bart: Read the bosom part again, Dad.
Bart Character Comedy Callback Callback Homer: Too bad we don't live on a farm. Let's go.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Homer: But I got it in the middle.
Homer Character Comedy Visual Gag Homer · Ned: D'oh! That was practice. / Play it where it lays.
Bart Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Homer · Ned: It went in. -Good shot. -Luck.
Homer: Yeah? The fruit of my loins can beat the fruit of your loins any day.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Homer: This is the only time I will ever say this. It is not okay to lose.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Homer: what a violin is to the guy-- The violin guy.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Homer · Bart: Give it a name. -What? -Give it a name. -Mr. Putter. -Wanna try a little harder? -Give it a girl's name. -Mom. -It's Charlene.
Homer: Sometimes the only way to feel good is to make someone feel bad... and I'm tired of making people feel good.
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Lisa: A blockaded bishop is of little value, but I think you mean a pawn.
Lisa Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Lisa: 'Anecdotes,' 'Eisenhower and,' 'Humor,' 'Japanese Obsession With'....
Lisa Observational Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Bart Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Bart · Lisa: Absolutely. But, Bart, how can sound exist if there's no one there to hear it?
Lisa: You've actually found a practical use for geometry!
Lisa Observational Character Comedy Marge · Ned: Get down before the neighbors see-- / Simpson!
Homer: 'May the best man win.' The loser's mating call.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Ned · Homer: I'm not a betting man. -I'm a chicken, am I? -Right.
Ned: You have yourself a bet, you jackaninny!
Ned Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Ned: 'Loser' is such a harsh word. How about 'the boy who doesn't win'?
Ned Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Bart · Lisa: That crazy Marmaduke. / Eighth hole? / Octopus, third tentacle.
Lisa · Homer: Steak will make him logy. -What won't make him logy? -Oatmeal. -Oatmeal?
Homer: News flash, Lisa. Bart is not a horse. Eat your steak, boy.
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Marge: Having never received encouragement, I'm not sure how it should sound. But here goes. I believe in you.
Marge Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Bart: I already prayed, and we can't both win.
Bart Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Homer: Afraid so, infinity plus one.
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Homer: Mercy's for the weak, Todd.
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Homer: Remember what Vince Lombardi said! 'Lose, and you're out of the family.'
Homer Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Bart · Todd: Who wants character? Let's quit. -Okay.
Bart Todd Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Announcer: this is the most stirring display... of gallantry since Mountbatten gave India back to the Punjabs.
Homer · Ned: You're welching on our bet? -What? Neither boy lost. -But neither-- We-- You have to do it too. -Small price to see you humiliated.
Homer Ned Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Homer: Small price to see you humiliated.
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Ned · Homer: Simpson, I feel silly, but what the hay? Reminds me of my old fraternity days. -Oh, my God. He's enjoying it!
Ned Homer Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Homer: Oh, my God. He's enjoying it!
Homer Reaction Beat Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Top Episodes — The Simpsons