After Marge and Homer's marriage turns out to be invalid, they decide to re-do their vows. But when Homer goes missing, Bart and Lisa smell something funny and investigate his disappearance.
WAR
54.9
Wins Above Replacement
“Wedding For Disaster” ranks #171 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 81.0 — Elite. The episode packs 61 scored jokes at 3.5 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Homer Simpson landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer Simpson: you deserve a wedding day that, unlike our children, was planned in advance
Cletus: So that's why that ghost keeps coming through the window. Afternoon. Fly away ghosty! Go back to your haunted cornfield!
Cletus Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Lisa Simpson · Homer Simpson · Bart Simpson: But in the sense someone calls you one when they're angry, yes. Why, you little bastard! That's the angry one.
Homer Simpson: Just so you know, you're making a pretty bad first impression.
Helen Lovejoy: That food might as well have been regurgitated by Satan himself. Regurgitated by Satan He couldn't keep it down / Oh, 666 He got sick, sick, sick / And that's how volcanoes were born
All Jokes — 61 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Reverend Lovejoy · Congregation Member: there are only two real commandments, and the other eight are just filler. I knew it.
Moe: Oh, my God! She fainted! Let's go get smelling salts! Suckers!
Moe Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch News Reporter: since Mother Teresa stopped here to gas up her Vespa
News Reporter: I'd commit arson for the parson. Clergymen can kiss my apse.
News Reporter: Surprisingly, none of them have sold. Except for this one.
News Reporter: News has never been softer.
Crowd Member: the earthly embodiment of the elected chair of the national congress of deacons
Kent Brockman: You just made my mustache tingle.
Parson: our world spiritual headquarters in Michigan City, Indiana
Reverend Lovejoy: I love to go to church It's where I like to read / I get a day in of praying And still tee off by three
Reverend Lovejoy: He's like the pope of this thing!
Helen Lovejoy: That is if you had stuck with it. You asked me to quit, because I was making more than you.
Parson · Reverend Lovejoy: Sounds to me like somebody put on more than just one coat. Maybe.
Parson: Walking to your office is what I like to do / Maybe while we're at it We'll peek in at your pews
Parson Character Comedy Awkward Silence Reverend Lovejoy: Helen had bought a fireplace poker from Nova Scotia. She says it shifts logs better than American pokers. But I disagree.
Parson · Reverend Lovejoy: In fact, I remember when she was Harold Schwarzbaum. You what? I've said too much.
Reverend Lovejoy · Parson: Well, I'm sure the Lord is understanding. No, He's not.
Helen Lovejoy: That food might as well have been regurgitated by Satan himself. Regurgitated by Satan He couldn't keep it down / Oh, 666 He got sick, sick, sick / And that's how volcanoes were born
Old Man · Reverend Lovejoy: She still alive? I'm afraid not. 'Cos I left her ashes on the bus.
Sea Captain: Maybe the next one!
Cletus: So that's why that ghost keeps coming through the window. Afternoon. Fly away ghosty! Go back to your haunted cornfield!
Cletus Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer Simpson: We didn't order a pizza. But you forgot the pizza anyway.
Homer Simpson: And I think Apu got lucky with my sister.
Homer Simpson · Marge Simpson: We don't need a piece of paper to keep it real. Who are you calling an old lady? I need that paper quick!
Lisa Simpson · Homer Simpson · Bart Simpson: But in the sense someone calls you one when they're angry, yes. Why, you little bastard! That's the angry one.
Bart Simpson: Yeah, instead of exhausted zombies running down the clock.
City Hall Worker: Watch your back. Half a corpse coming through.
City Hall Worker: That's the line to get out.
Homer Simpson: Hello. It's me, Lance Romance.
Homer Simpson: you deserve a wedding day that, unlike our children, was planned in advance
Homer Simpson · Santa: Now back to your cold airless tomb. Ho, ho, ho.
Homer Simpson: Marge, a woman only gets one chance at a second remarriage.
Homer Simpson · Store Clerk: Well, the last time I checked, pirates weren't gay. Dude, how'd you check?
Homer Simpson: Maybe we can bury the rocket ship inside the cake. And that would be a big surprise, because I'd forget about it pretty quick.
Marge Simpson · Florist: Well did he take all the blue roses with him? My father was a lovely man. He took very good care of my mother and me.
Marge Simpson: but only one plate of butter. That'll stimulate conversation.
Homer Simpson · Marge Simpson: But there is, Marge. The first two letters. I can't believe you're ruining the second Thursday before the wedding!
Marge Simpson: 'Cos they're not even coming to the wedding. Why not? Because they're RSVP cards arrived one day after the deadline!
Marge Simpson: More like you're a King Wrong!
Marge Simpson: Not on my day, you don't.
Marge Simpson: We are now eleven seconds behind schedule!
Homer Simpson: I'm chained up like a common bicycle!
Homer Simpson: It would have to be someone who could afford a chain.
Homer Simpson: Just so you know, you're making a pretty bad first impression.
Marge Simpson: They taste like nothing.
Bart Simpson: Plus, he loves Mom and us, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Bart Simpson: Because he knows that if Mom and Dad don't get married, I'll never be born!
Delivery Person: I'd like to hear more about it, but company policy forbids chit-chat.
Homer Simpson: Whose side are you on?
Cecil Terwilliger: Oh, don't worry. Nothing's gonna happen to you, Mr. Teeny Number 7.
Sideshow Bob: Scott Baio, the Sultan of Brunei, the former Poland secret police the Służba Bezpieczeństwa.
Kidnapper: But just a hotter sauce.
Fat Tony · Louie: They're-- Oh, you're being sarcastic. Wow! You're the smartest guy in that room! Thank you. That's very nice-- More sarcasm.
Homer Simpson: You always find the one grain of sugar in the salt shaker that is I.
Homer Simpson: God help me, I even miss your sisters.
Homer Simpson: and two sobbing trolls threw me out of a van onto our lawn.
Homer Simpson: Won't it dry up in a few days, and fall off in the bath?
Selma Bouvier: So maybe we could put a tanning bed in there.
Selma Bouvier: Ask her. She's the brains. I'm the thing that's not the brains.
Patty Bouvier: We emptied our 401(k)s for this?
Frink: No! You're a plant now!
Frink Absurdist Physical/Slapstick Top Episodes — The Simpsons
