Moe once again searches for love and falls for a woman named Maya over the Internet. However, when Moe meets Maya face-to-face, he discovers it's more like face-to-knee, as Maya is only three feet tall.
WAR
67.3
Wins Above Replacement
“Eeny Teeny Maya Moe” ranks #186 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 80.5 — Elite. The episode packs 76 scored jokes at 4.0 per minute, averaging 7.1 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Moe landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Moe: So instead of getting a new bar sign, I saved 300 bucks by changing my name to Moe.
Moe Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Maya: I stopped having fun about ten jokes ago, and you just kept going.
Maya Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Maya: Well, that was taken at Legoland.
Maya Setup/Punchline Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Homer: Aw, her first enabling.
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Moe: Aw, I can't build a relationship on a lie. The lies come later.
Moe Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 76 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer: This is no time to pat the bunny, Maggie. Daddy's watching a very important Mid-Atlantic Hockey League Conference Semifinal do-over game.
Homer Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Announcer: the members of Sesame Street on Ice wait impatiently to begin their matinee performance
Announcer: Hold the Black Label, Mabel! The Utica Mohawks' Pete Mavroudis has broken through the 'topes' defense!
Homer: I will when it's not sports season.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Announcer: here at Utica's Kill-Kwik Rat Poison Arena
Homer: D'oh! The score, damn you!
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Homer: I will never... know... the score!
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Homer: Oh, Marge. This is a definite high point for our marriage.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Marge · Homer · Maggie: Your daughter barely knows who you are! / That's ridiculous. Who's your daddy, Maggie? Who's your daddy?
Homer: Who's your daddy, Maggie? Who's your daddy?
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Marge · Homer: He is pretty good with her. / Oh!
Homer · Marge: Look, Marge, it's just what you want me spending the day with Muggsy. / Maggie! / Marge, you're not Naggy.
Homer · Marge: You just set the bar impossibly high. / Can you at least bring a sweater for Maggie? / Impossibly high.
Homer: Not even heated up. Typical dog.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Homer: Now, you learn your numbers from these billiard balls while Daddy gets happier and happier and then sadder and sadder.
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Moe: Jeez, can't a guy clean his bar for the first time ever without people making polite inquiries?
Moe Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Homer: Aw, her first enabling.
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Barney: Remember I taught you your ABCs. A-B... P-K... R...
Barney Character Comedy Escalation Moe: Ah, just how I like it: warm and rusty.
Moe Character Comedy Observational Moe: Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
Moe Meta/Self-Referential Cringe/Discomfort Library Patron: The gargoyle has landed!
Library Patron: You know I'm a woman. We used to own a cat together! She had babies! Here's yours!
Moe: Dast I click on this JPEG? No. I dasn't. Yes, I dast!
Moe Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Moe: All right, before I send this, I'd better, uh, un-beady the eyes, de-Neanderthal the brow, smooth out my hate lines, lighten up the ear hair, switch my lips, then, black tie the whole deal.
Moe Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Moe: Aw, I can't build a relationship on a lie. The lies come later.
Moe Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Moe: Oh, frabjulous day! Calloo Callay!
Moe Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Moe: Oh, oh, you want Homer? I'm sorry, I thought you meant Himmler. Heinrich Himmler. You know, the guy who invented the Heimlich 'manure'? Those are two different people!
Moe Dark/Subversive Absurdist Maya · Moe: Moe, I'm down here. / Oh, you're a little person? / No, I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. Uh, what-what's the correct term? / Little person. / Whoa! Look at me being polite!
Maya Moe Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Moe: So, Maya, um, have you always been this size, or is this like a Benjamin Button deal?
Moe Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Maya: Well, that was taken at Legoland.
Maya Setup/Punchline Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Moe: What, are you kidding me? You're the best thing to come into this bar since cable TV. And unlike cable TV, I ain't stealing you from the Chinese restaurant across the street there.
Moe Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Moe · Maya: Let me get a car seat. / Car seat? / Yeah, I took out the passenger seat to save gas, but I'm gonna use it now 'cause we're gonna do the town!
Moe: So instead of getting a new bar sign, I saved 300 bucks by changing my name to Moe.
Moe Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Waiter: Moe! You eat alone again tonight, huh? Table for one! Facing the wall!
Waiter: She's beautiful! But so far away.
Moe: Yeah. I practice by siphoning gas out of other people's tanks.
Moe Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Moe: But I never tasted super-premium that was half as good as you.
Moe: It's like my heart wants to do her.
Carl: You mean like how we treat Homer? 'Cause he can't remember limericks?
Carl Character Comedy Callback Homer: There once was this guy from an island off the coast of Massachusetts, uh... Nantucket, I think it was. Anyway, he had the most unusual personal characteristic, which was, uh... um...
Homer Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Lenny: Look at him struggling with the simplest rhyme. It's A-A-B-B-A, dumb-ass!
Lenny Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Aw. Innocent babies whistling nonchalantly. How sweet.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Visual Gag Homer: Maybe if I lay down a beat on my bongos, that will soothe her.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer · Lisa: How would I know? You've been spending so much time with her. / I have not! / Oh, right. You think I do.
Childcare Worker: You, wash me unmentionables! And, you, preheat the oven for two children at 450.
Narrator: Our competitors claim we scramble our images too much. We say, 'Can you love your children too much?'
Narrator: The only thing better than Prying-Eye watching your children is you watching your children, and we know that's not gonna happen.
Commercial announcer: The only thing better than Prying-Eye watching your children is you watching your children, and we know that's not gonna happen.
Marge · Devil · Angel: Do you really want to use your baby as a tool to spy on your husband? / Yes, you do. / I wasn't talking to you. / When you say it, it's not just in your head.
Moe: No. Hey, no. Hey, a lot of people live in trees. Uh, Tarzan, the Berenstain Bears, flood victims.
Moe Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Maya: Umpa-lumpa, we are so small...
Moe: 'Cause I am a snake handler, but not an observant one. If we have kids, they just have to have a ceremony with a cobra by age three so their grandfather will be happy.
Moe Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Maya: When your mailman waved to us, you made me hide under that traffic cone.
Maya Character Comedy Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Moe: She's a stand-up dame, and he's a fall-down drunk.
Moe Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Moe · Maya: Hey, what's going on? Whoa. You turned into a doll! / I just do that to freak people out.
Moe Maya Absurdist Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Homer: Ugh! In a nuclear power plant, just how is nuclear energy turned into electricity?
Homer Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Maya · Homer: Well, if I remember my high school physics, the controlled nuclear reaction creates steam which powers a turbine... / Man, oh, man, slap a ring on that!
Maya: Are you asking me to be your... little woman?
Maya Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Moe: Well, as long as you don't mind having a small wedding. And-and we can drink champagne out of an acorn top. Our first dance will be on the head of a pin!
Moe Escalation Character Comedy Moe: I've been hogging all the good ones. All right, now you go, but, uh, hey, keep it short!
Moe Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Maya: I stopped having fun about ten jokes ago, and you just kept going.
Maya Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Moe: Oh-Oh, forgive me, kitten. I mean cat. I mean, tiger. I mean saber-toothed tiger. I mean... aah.
Moe Escalation Character Comedy Moe: How long do you people remember things?
Moe Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Lenny · Moe: The one time I did, I went to jail for three years. / You made some good friends, didn't you? / Just 'cause you're chained to a guy don't make him your friend.
Moe: Tomato, tomahto. Now, how am I gonna win Maya back?
Moe Character Comedy Absurdist Moe · Carl: But what if it blows up in my face? / Uh, with your face, who cares?
Dr. Nick · Moe: Now close your eyes, and when you wake up, you will be a woman. / No, no, no, no. I-I want to be shorter for a woman. / Uh-oh! I mixed you up with the last guy.
Previous Patient: I look nothing like Julie Newmar!
Maya: Moe, if you have to be like me to love me, then you're not seeing the real me.
Moe: I see you every time I look at the moon. I see you in puddles after it rains. I see you in the glazed eye of a barfly who's had one too many.
Moe Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Moe: And can you wrap up the bones so my dog can have fun with 'em?
Moe Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Homer: Oh, Maggie, I love you from the tip of your toes to the bow on your hair with the red blinking light.
Homer Character Comedy Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Marge · Homer: Homer Simpson, you are a strong finisher. / And I'm good at beginnings.
Marge · Homer: Homer Simpson, you are a strong finisher. And I'm good at beginnings.
Homer: Sometime when you least expect it, you'll realize that someone loved you. And that'll make you smile.
Moe: Who'd have thought such a little woman could make me feel so big?
Moe Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Top Episodes — The Simpsons
