Bart falls in love with a charitable girl named Jenny, prompting Bart to behave in order to date her. Meanwhile, Lisa becomes depressed when she writes a report on Springfield's future.
WAR
42.9
Wins Above Replacement
“The Good The Sad And The Drugly” ranks #341 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 76.8 — Great. The episode packs 58 scored jokes at 3.3 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.5 on impact, with Bart landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Milhouse: Well, you can't bleed out your nose when your heart's broken.
Milhouse Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Marge: Oh, Bart, I don't care that this is just an act. You've finally become the boy every mother dreams of, a girl!
Marge Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart: Do you know who else was really into rowboats? Jesus. And he could've turned his rowboat into a jet ski, but he didn't. Good guy.
Bart Absurdist Observational ★ Rewatch Jenny: Chocolate chip for Donald. Low sodium for Abe. Not made by immigrants for Sam, and imaginary for Major Preston.
Jenny Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Marge · Homer: Lisa's a little young to be taking happy pills. Marge, we came to an appointment in the middle of the day. That's the most a parent can do.
All Jokes — 58 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Bart · Milhouse: Did you unscrew all the Phillips heads? Check. Did you unscrew all the flat-heads? Yep. And now we wait.
Bart: Now go hide the evidence while I walk around saying, (GASPING) 'What happened? Who would do such a thing?'
Bart Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Skinner · Groundskeeper Willie: I'd recognize those discolored Hush Puppies anywhere. Hear that? He thinks my Try 'N Save brand Shush Mutts are genuine Hush Puppies.
Principal Skinner: Hard to believe one lad can cause all this mayhem. Particularly a lad who failed Introduction to Unscrewing.
Principal Skinner: And I don't buy this lone prankster theory. I think there was a second fun man.
Principal Skinner: Milhouse, you realize if you're suspended, you'll be missing Taco Wednesday? Crunchy shell, ground beef, lettuce, mild sauce and, of course, shredded Cheddar cheese. Mmm-mmm.
Principal Skinner: Willie, take him to the big house where he lives.
Groundskeeper Willie: Suspended boy walking!
Milhouse: I'm grounded and spend all day listening to my dad yell at Mad Money w/ Jim Cramer. You said tech stocks were bulletproof!
Marge: You know, I think Milhouse is El Barto.
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Bart: So, Grampa, not like I'm anxious to go, but I've been here 10 minutes, which is like seven hours in kid years.
Bart Observational Character Comedy Retirement home residents: It's her! The little girl who doesn't recoil at the sight of us!
Jenny: Chocolate chip for Donald. Low sodium for Abe. Not made by immigrants for Sam, and imaginary for Major Preston.
Jenny Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Major Preston: With this cookie, I can buy back Private O'Malley from the Zulus.
Bart · Jenny: You put ex-lax in the cookies, then just sit back and watch the fireworks? I would never do that! Oh, right. I was thinking of other things that are hilarious. Like things that you think are funny.
Bart: She had more curves than a Hot Wheels track. Well, she didn't yet, but she would after puberty.
Bart Observational Misdirection ★ Rewatch Lisa: Math, done. Pinecone, collected. Permission slip, signed. Now time for a break, a little social studies.
Lisa Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Nelson: Whoa! She gets to use the real scissors. Nice.
Nelson Observational Character Comedy Nelson: Punch her in her arm. Or if you're really serious, stick gum in her hair. Here, I always come prepared. Take two. You might get lucky.
Nelson Character Comedy Escalation Nelson: Boy, you make it look effortless. And that kid's giving you zero pump.
Nelson Observational Character Comedy Bart: You'd love my PB & J. The secret is no PB, double J.
Bart Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Bart · Groundskeeper Willie: Willie, I've got a girlfriend! Really? Well, I do, too. She's a bikini model from Sweden.
Willie · Inga: Willie, darling, come back to bed. Don't you love me? Don't compete with my job, Inga. You'll never win.
Ralph: In 50 years, the vacuum cleaner will be quiet and not scary.
Ralph Character Comedy Observational Lisa: Oh, Ralph, how I envy your optimism. There is no Springfield 50 years in the future!
Lisa Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Lisa: With global warming trapping the CO2 inside our poisonous atmosphere, our super-heated oceans will rise, drowning our lowlands, leaving what's left of humanity baking in deserts that once fed the world!
Lisa Character Comedy Escalation Teacher: Lisa, your outburst was either a sign of deep emotional imbalance or a passionate response to a sobering truth. Luckily, the treatment for both is intensive therapy.
Teacher Deadpan/Understatement Observational Teacher: Oh, I don't know. But when you go, could you return this Sports Illustrated for me? Someone must've put it in my bag. They do that, you know? They're always putting things in my bag.
Teacher Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Bart: I spend a lot of time working with this mentally challenged guy. Why, here he is now. Looking good, Homer! Just wait.
Bart Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Homer: Don't shake your fist at me! Look, man. I don't want any trouble. Come on. Here. Just take my wallet. Leave me alone, okay?
Homer Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Bart: Do you know who else was really into rowboats? Jesus. And he could've turned his rowboat into a jet ski, but he didn't. Good guy.
Bart Absurdist Observational ★ Rewatch Bart: Oh. You want your duckling back? Here it is. Psych! That'll teach you to match wits with us, you stupid mother duck!
Bart Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Shauna: Either the duck suffers or the kid does or none of you's getting nothing from Shauna. I'm Shauna.
Shauna Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Jenny: Oh, Bart, if those ducklings understood how magnificent you were, they'd stop biting your leg.
Jenny Irony/Sarcasm Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Doctor: Let me show you how Ignorital works. It turns this to this! Huh?
Marge · Homer: Lisa's a little young to be taking happy pills. Marge, we came to an appointment in the middle of the day. That's the most a parent can do.
Marge · Bart: What's your angle, mister? No angle. If this girl I'm seeing comes here, and she might, I wouldn't mind if you told her I was the kind of boy that does the dishes.
Marge: Yeah. Busboys get all the chicks.
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement Lisa · Homer: Well, off to school where they'll prepare our little minds for a future we'll never see. Sounds like someone's got a case of the Mondays.
Lisa Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart: So this is setting the table. If I'd known how easy this was, I'd have just done it instead of throwing all those tantrums.
Bart Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Marge: Oh, Bart, I don't care that this is just an act. You've finally become the boy every mother dreams of, a girl!
Marge Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Lisa: Hello, smiley face. Hello, smiley face!
Lisa Visual Gag Character Comedy Callback Marge · Jenny: Jenny, it's amazing what you've done with my son. Well, I think Bart is an incredible combination of Habitat for Humanity and the Jonas Brothers, and nothing can ever change my opinion about him.
Homer: We don't have any money! Go away! May I de-corn your cob, my darling?
Homer Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Milhouse: Bart, I learned some great new swear words from my uncle. He has got a broken back, so he's in constant pain. Bart, would you be interested in swears?
Bart: Yes, because only by knowing them can you prevent bad little kids from saying them.
Bart Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Bart · Milhouse: Milhouse, real best friends often don't speak for years at a time, like John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. Just because you saw one episode of one miniseries doesn't mean you get to use it as a whip!
Milhouse: Oh, I get it. It's love. I guess you've found your Abigail Adams. My who? So I'll be on my way. I can see I'm the fifth wheel on this bicycle with training wheels.
Milhouse Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Ned · Reverend Lovejoy: Reverend, care for some of my devil's food cake? Is that really devil's food? No. It's angel food with chocolate on top. Mmm-hmm. I knew it.
Bart · Jenny: We should be safe from Milhouse here. Being at sea level gives him nosebleeds. Milhouse is funny. The way he's always shaking me by the shoulders and saying I don't know the real you. Funny.
Milhouse: Well, you can't bleed out your nose when your heart's broken.
Milhouse Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Bart: I'm only pretending to be good. Before I met you, I was El Barto, Skinner's Bane, the Sultan of Spit Wads, the Dean of D-Minus, the Ay Caramba Kid!
Bart Escalation Character Comedy Callback Jenny · Bart: Are you saying our entire relationship is based on lies? Not our entire relationship. Just the stuff I said.
Jenny Bart Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Apu: Whatever you are looking for, it is not at the bottom of a 512-ounce cup of Shrek Berry Blast.
Apu Observational Character Comedy Apu: What is at the bottom is this dumb Shrek trivia quiz, which if answered correctly, entitles you to 10% off any Shrek DVD, except the first two.
Apu Observational Escalation Bart · Apu: Okay, I... What happened to my roses, Apu? You said you'd watch them while I shopped. No such conversation took place.
Bart Apu Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Customer: Grandma, a lot has happened. I went to a condo presentation. I put down my deposit. But then they lost funding mid-project. That crane just sits there every day, rusting.
Milhouse · Willie: Smooth and slippery. Thank you, Zamboni King.
Top Episodes — The Simpsons
