Ralph

Ralph:Kevin's biting me. Here's a drawing of a spirochete. Love, Ralph.

Ralph:When the doctor said... I didn't have worms anymore, that was the happiest day... of my life.

Ralph:God, shmod-- I want my monkey man.

Ralph · Lisa:It says, 'Choo-choo-choose me...' and there's a picture of a train. Yeah. Nice gag.

Ralph:The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger out of there.

Ralph · Homer:Mr. Simpson, the tar fumes are making me dizzy! Yeah, they'll do that.

Ralph:At least you guys are my friends.

Dr. Wolfe · Ralph:How often do you brush, Ralph? Three times a day, sir. Why must you turn my office into a house of lies? You're right! I don't brush! [Crying] I don't brush.

Ralph · Skinner:What's a battle? [Forced Laughter] Let's go.

Ralph · Teacher:I'm Idaho! - Yes, of course you are.

Ralph:He was going to the bathroom.

Ralph:My cat's name is Mittens.

Ralph · Principal Skinner:Prepackaged Star Wars characters still in their display box? Are those limited edition figures? What's a diorama?

Ralph:I bent my Wookiee.

Ralph:My cat's breath smells like cat food.

Ralph:You 'choo-choo-choose' me?

Ralph:The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger out of it.

Ralph:I love Lisa Simpson! And when I grow up, I'm going to marry her!

Ralph · Lisa:Tomorrow we were gonna find out who the dish ran away with. The spoon, Bart. Of course.

Sunday school teacher · Ralph:Ralph, Jesus did not have wheels.

Ralph:I won! I won!

Ralph:Me fail English? That's 'unpossible.'

Ralph · Police:I didn't burn down the school. / It was the butterfly, I tell you. The butterfly! / He's crazy, boys. Get the Taser.

Bart · Kids · Ralph:Eat my shorts, Shelbyville. - Eat my shorts. - Eat my shorts. - Yes, eat all of our shirts.

Ralph:No wonder no one came to my birthday party.

Ralph:Principal Skinner, I need some 'sooes.'

Ralph:My worm went in my mouth and then I ate it. Can I have a new one?

Ralph:Oh, boy! Sleep! That's where I'm a Viking.

Ralph · Ms. Hoover:Can you open my milk, Mommy? - I'm not Mommy, Ralph. I'm Miss Hoover

Teacher · Ralph:Well, that's it. Have a nice summer, everyone. But what happened in Ford's Theatre? Was President Lincoln okay? He was fine.

Ralph · Homer:Is the alien Santa Claus? - Uh, yes.

Ralph · Focus Group Leader:Why is that mirror sneezing? / Uh, look, it's just an old, creaky mirror. You know, sometimes it sounds a little like it's sneezing... or coughing or talking softly.

Ralph · Focus Group Leader:My knob tastes funny. / Please refrain from tasting the knob.

Ralph:Prinskipper Skippal Prinnipple Skipper

Teacher · Ralph:That's your trowel blade, Ralph. It fell off the handle. And I found it!

Ralph:Well, uh, I heard they sent a rocket to the sun once- at night.

Ralph:And there was that submarine with the screen doors.

Ralph:I 'eated' the purple berries. They taste like burning.

Ralph · Lisa:Hi, honey. It's me, your husband, Ralph. Hey, angel pie. Can you drive me down to the 'liberry'?

Ralph:I found a moon rock in my nose. Houston, we have a booger.

Jimbo · Kearney · Ralph:Hey, loser, this planet's for space studs. Yeah, blast off. I know you. My daddy took your beer.

Ralph:Your hair is tall and pretty.

Ralph:Help! She's touching my special area!

Ralph:Whoo-hoo! Beer, beer, beer! Bed, bed, bed!

Bart · Ralph:A what? With who? - [Gasps] - Hi, Bart. We're gonna be friends.

Ralph · Bart:I have a finger trap. Whoa. Get him off. Get him off! Fighting only makes it tighter.

Ralph:Your toys are fun to touch. Mine are all sticky.

Ralph:I dropped my 'Popsticle' in your toy chest.

Ralph:Shh! I been here two hours, and Bart still hasn't finded me.

Ralph:Slow down, Bart. My legs don't know how to be as long as yours.

Ralph:Bushes are nice 'cause they don't have prickers. Unless they do. This one did. Ouch.

Ralph · Bart:That's where I saw the leprechaun. - Right. A leprechaun. - He told me to burn things.

Bart · Ralph:Did he say I'm not allowed in there? - Yes. - Well, I'm going in anyway.

Ralph:Wow! Dad's been in jail six times! Aw, Mom's only been in twice.

Ralph:That's Daddy's magic key. It opens every door in town.

Bart · Ralph:The world is our toy store. - Toy store, toy store, toy store! Whee!

Ralph · Bullies:I thought we were friends. - [Laughing] Wait. I missed that. Get him to say it again.

Ralph:The pointy kitty took it!

Ralph:Smells like hot dogs.

Bart · Ralph:Got any threes? - Go fish. - Oh! See, here's the problem, Ralph. You have several threes. - Go fish!

Ralph:Hey, that's our play chair!

Ralph:He's gonna smell like hot dogs.

Ralph:Lisa's a good thinker.

Bart · Ralph:Lisa's a good thinker. That's it. Ralph, you're a genius!

Ralph:My neck hurts, and my ear hurts. I have two owies.

Ralph:Then the doctor told me that both my eyes were lazy. And that's why it was the best summer ever.

Nelson · Ralph:Hey, blindy, have a nice trip.! [Ralph Screams] [Thud] Ha-ha.!

Ralph · Lisa:Is this my house? / No. You live in a different house

Ralph:Hi, Lisa. Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers. / I'm 'learnding.'

Ralph · Homer as King David:You're King David. I love you, 'cause you kill people. - Get yourself another hero, kid. I'm all washed up.

Ralph:Jonah! Oh! You died the way you lived- inside a whale.

Ralph:Daddy says I'm this close to living in the yard

Ralph:At my house, we call 'em 'uh-ohs.'

Ralph:You think you got it bad? I gotta wear a shock collar. [Screams] What was that for? I thought about a girl I like.

Ralph:Not the sky! That's where clouds are born!

Ralph · Chief Wiggum:Oh, Daddy! This tastes like Grandma! Holy Moses! It does taste like Grandma!

Ralph:I can't take Mr. Burns to the 'hospital' 'cause I'm too dumb to read a map.

Jim Hope · Ralph:Fun? Ralph, there are no right or wrong answers but if you don't pipe down, I'm giving you an 'F.'

Ralph:Daddy, I'm ready to get out now. Over.

Bart · Ralph:Devil, be gone. Ow! My milk money. And my milk. Ew!

Ralph:I'm sick of having to dry myself with a newspaper!

Future Bart · Ralph:I can't believe 'Smell ya later' replaced 'Good-bye.' Smell ya later! Smell ya later.

Future Bart · Ralph:Should we take the hover bus or the non-hover bus? Non-hover.

Ralph · Little Vicki:Teacher, my shoes are making noise. / You must be Ralph. / My daddy shoots people. [Grunts]

Ralph · Little Vicki:[Groaning] I ate too much plastic candy. / Heavens to betsy. The star of the show is sick. / Whatever will we do? There's only one person who can get us out of this pickle.

Ralph · Chief Wiggum:Freeze, you crazy mommy! That a boy. But you gotta aim a little higher. There you go. That's a kill shot.

Milhouse · Bart · Ralph:What up, 'G' Money? - Who's next? Ralph Wiggum? - Whee! I'm a pop sensation.

Lisa · Ralph:Isn't this song a little boastful? - No one told me there was gonna be boasting.

Ralph · Nelson:I can't read. - I can't sing without dancing.

N'Sync member · Nelson · Ralph:Nobody pouts going into a jiggy. - Yeah. That's stupid. - I want to twirl!

Milhouse · Lisa · Ralph:I like jazz. Milhouse? She got you too? Yeah, but it's not so bad. I'm standing on Ralph.

Ralph:We're a totem pole.

Chief Wiggum · Ralph:Sugar's made my Ralphie hyperactive. I'm happy and angry!

Chief Wiggum · Ralph:Sugar's made my Ralphie hyperactive. / I'm happy and angry!

Milhouse · Ralph:Bart's a goner. Anyone want to be my new best friend? I will! Great! Finally, I'll be the dominant one.

Milhouse · Ralph:Be quiet. Yes, sir.

Ralph · Chief Wiggum:Daddy, how come you're not at work? I don't know. How come you're not at school? My teacher says she's tired of trying. Yeah, well, so am I, Ralphie. So am I.

Ralph:Even my boogers are spicy.

Ralph:I made a new friend. [RALPH YELLS THEN GROANS]

Ralph:I'm going to Africa...to see lions and giraffes and monkeys and Santa and gorillas and ...

Ralph:My sash says 'Ultraman.'

Ralph:I'm gonna live with Underground Grandma.

Ralph:I'll catch them on my tongue for luck

Ralph:I'm gonna live with Underground Grandma

Chief Wiggum · Ralph:I let go of the parking brake. Ralphie, if you stop... I'll let you play with my gun.

Homer · Ralph:Pick one. I am 'Burger With Fries.' Man, is that uninspired.

Ralph · Girl Scout:Will you be my mommy? You smell like dead bunnies.

Ralph:I'm a brick.

Ralph:My nose makes its own bubble gum!

Ralph · Bart:I found you, Bart! Ralph, we're playing checkers. I don't like you, boy-mommy.

Ralph · Unknown:your eyes need diapers. 'Your eyes need di...' that's good, ralphie.

Lisa · Ralph:I want to be a fire truck. How about a feature columnist? Yeah, I'm a feature columnist!

Ralph · Chief Inspector:I shall never grow up. / Uh, in jail you will.

Chief Wiggum · Ralph:It's the only way I can get Ralphie to go to sleep. / I can make opi-ohs!

Chief Wiggum · Ralph:I think your grilled crayon sandwich was delicious. You only had a pretend bite. No, I'm eating it. Look.

Ralph · Chief Wiggum:Can you taste the thumbtacks? Crap.

Marge · Ralph:Plus your school-yard chums: Martin and Ralph. Bart's my bestest boyfriend.

Ralph:I already feel like a chicken. I just laid an egg in my pants.

Shop clerk · Ralph:It is a ticket of 50. This kid finally refund. Very well, Ralph, look at what you can do with a 100 bill.

Someone · Ralph:Ralph, there is a hole in your basket. You're the brother of Lisa.

Ralph:Now I've been every ball on the playground!

Lisa · Ralph · Lisa · Lisa · Ralph:Give me your lunch money. / Okay! / I guess I'm gonna have to get this party started. / Forgive me for this. / Okay!

Ralph:I got hit by boy Lisa and girl Lisa.

Ralph:I brought my own car seat. Look.

Ralph:Hey, Lisa, my safety bar matches your eyes.

Ralph:My daddy had to potty in a bag.

Ralph:What's this assembly for? A surprise Doodlebops concert?

Ralph:I'm a unitard.

Ralph:It's not my fault. The drinking fountain dared me to do it.

Ralph:Look out! If it touches you, you die of suicide!

Ralph · Alan Moore:Mr. Moore, will you sign my DVD of Watchmen Babies? Which of the babies is your favorite?

Ralph:Daddy, I made a Ralphwich!

Ralph:It tastes hurty!

Ralph:I finished before we came in.

Ralph:Step aside, ladies. I'm bringing the peace.

Ralph:I'm so staying up pass my bedtime.

Ralph:In 50 years, the vacuum cleaner will be quiet and not scary.

Ralph · Ralph:Class, in what year was one plus one? / The answer is: 'The amazing Ralph'!

Ralph:The answer is: 'The amazing Ralph'!

Ralph:Oh, my God! I killed Kenny! Ralph. No, I killed Kenny yesterday. What did I do now?

Ralph:Miss Hoover, what's our lesson today? Is it school?

Ralph:Martin Luther King had a dream. Dreams are where Elmo and Toy Story had a party and I went there. Yay. My turn is over.

Teacher · Ralph:There was a mix-up with your test. you got An a-triple-plus. Seems the f Belonged to ralph. I cheated wrong. I copied the lisa name and used the ralph answers.

Ralph:My not-dead grandma sent it from Tokyo.

Ralph:I'm a furniture!

Ralph:I caught a white apple!

Ralph:I didn't know what I was putting into my body.

Ralph · Yahtzee dice:Yatszu. Here we go, back in the cup. At least the cup is lined with felt. Hey, Mr. Positive, shut the hell up.

Skinner · Ralph:Lisa, one of the hardest jobs I have is throwing cold water on young children's dreams. Ralph, you're not a kangaroo.

Skinner · Ralph:Ralph, you're also not a trophy.

Ralph · Krusty:Are we in Kansas anymore? No. Well, are we in Nebraska? No! We are not in any state! Oh, oh, is it Michigan?

Ralph · Bart:Hi, Bart! Hey, Ralph. I heard you died. I got cloneded.

Ralph:Oh! We're submitting that to France's Funniest Cave Paintings.

Ralph:Can you help me with my self-esteem? I'm not that good.

Ralph:I'm going to a accident!

Ralph:If I can't remember the right letter, I just put an 'A.'

Janet Reno · Principal Skinner · Ralph:You're wearing sneakers to a trial? Oh, God, the press is gonna have a field day with this. Yay, field day!

Ralph:Pushing, always... always pushing.

Ralph:Just call me Ralph Nader. I don't know why.

Ralph:Sure, Lisa and I dated. Sure, she broke my heart. I'm sure your researchers know all about it.

Ralph · Lisa:You're a booger head! And I say we move beyond name-calling to solve our real problems. Booger head!

Ralph · Lisa:Ralph saying 'Plant it and you'll grow a new Ralph' about tooth in valentine

Ralph:Ralph immediately jumping to 'Well, better get ready for St. Patrick's!'

Ralph:Aah! Bart Simpson got a teacher pregnant!

Ralph:Yo soy language lab.

Ralph:I like the play-doh that comes out the back.