The family attends "Stab-A-Lot: The Itchy and Scratchy Musical." The musical's director is a graduate of Springfield Elementary and Principal Skinner puts his foot in mouth when he makes sexist comments about her education and that of women in general. He tries to make the situation better, but only buries himself deeper and deeper until he is fired and replaced by Women's Educational Expert Melanie Upfoot. The first thing she does is split the school into girls and the boys. Lisa dislikes the way girls are being taught math and she ventures over to the boy's side of the school in search of a challenge. Disguising herself as Jake Boyman she starts attending the boy's school but while she finds the math problems more interesting, it is being a boy that is a greater challenge.
WAR
52.5
Wins Above Replacement
“Girls Just Want To Have Sums” ranks #123 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 82.2 — Elite. The episode packs 50 scored jokes at 3.0 per minute, averaging 7.3 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Lisa landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Lisa: Oh, my god, I was wrong! And by being corrected, I learned! And no one cared about my feelings!
Lisa Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Marge: Why did women invent sleeping on the couch?
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Melanie: How do numbers make you feel? What does a plus sign smell like? Is the number seven odd...or just different?
Melanie Absurdist Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Milhouse · Lisa · Milhouse: Lisa? Yeah, we totally had a thing, but I had to break it off. / What the hell are you talking about?! / She got too clingy. Milhouse doesn't do clingy.
Skinner · Skinner: It's the differences, of which there are none, that make the sameness exceptional. / Just tell me what to say.
All Jokes — 50 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Lisa: Dad, taking the family to opening night is the nicest thing you've ever done for us. Or will ever do.
Lisa Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer · Lisa · Homer: Hey, it says here the book was written by Tom Stoppard. / This isn't a book, it's a play. / Book.
Marge · Lisa: They're coming down the aisles. What if they want to interact with me? Looking through my purse, looking through my purse.... keep walking, monkey. Don't worry, mom, they all passed by.
Marge Lisa Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Performer: ...the circle of... knife!
Performer Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Lisa · Homer: I love the use of streamers as blood. It robs the violence of its power. / I'm drenched in blood!
Bart: Hey, check it out! I'm scratcher or something!
Bart Character Comedy Observational Juliana · Skinner: Well, I remember getting a 'b' or two in math. / Well, of course you did. You are a girl.
Skinner: There, that should put the matter behind us.
Skinner Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Skinner: I don't know why girls are worse. One thing we can all agree on, though, this little lady surely looks pretty tonight. Am I right?
Skinner Escalation Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Skinner · Chalmers · Skinner · Chalmers: Don't worry, I have a plan: Pretend I agree with them. / Well, you'd better hurry. Look what they've done to your car. / No, that's how it always looks. / How sad.
Skinner · Protester: What is the source of this 'illusion,' or as I call it, the biggest lie ever told? / You're a worse version of Hitler!
Protester · Skinner: See?! The principal's a tranny. / Am I wearing women's clothes? I didn't notice.
Skinner · Skinner: It's the differences, of which there are none, that make the sameness exceptional. / Just tell me what to say.
Chalmers: Yes, yes, yes, I said 'diarrhea.'
Chalmers Meta/Self-Referential Reaction Beat Bart · Willie · Bart: This rocks! No more stupid girl classes, like ballroom dancing. / No, that's still mandatory for everybody. / Willie?
Willie: Now, this is why I got into education.
Willie Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Bart · Bart: Now I can walk down the hall with 'Bart junior' hanging out. / Isn't that right, Bart junior?
Bart Bart Setup/Punchline Cringe/Discomfort Homer · Homer: Well, do you know what a man invented? Actual paper. / Which goes great with another male invention: the car.
Marge: Why did women invent sleeping on the couch?
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Willie · Boy: All right, I'm going to open this cage, but no biting! / You're not the boss of my teeth!
Girl Observational Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Melanie: How do numbers make you feel? What does a plus sign smell like? Is the number seven odd...or just different?
Melanie Absurdist Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Melanie: Sounds like you're trying to derail our 'self-esteem engine.'
Lisa · Lisa: He forgot the volume of the carrot nose, one-third base times height. / Math, I have missed you!
Lisa Lisa Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Skinner · Willie: I don't have any opinions anymore. All I know is that no one is better than anyone else, And everyone is the best at everything. / Not you. You're the worst! Now get poisonin' those squirrels.
Young Homer · Young Marge: Come on, baby. The only math you need is you plus me equals forever. / Oh, Homey!
Lisa · Homer: Mom, I don't think this will fool anybody. / Hey, who's the rude dude with the attitude?
Marge · Homer: You never take our kids to the movies. / Let's not fight in front of my cool new friend.
Lisa (as Jake) · Student: I'm... Jake. / That's your christian name. What's your surname? / Y...man. Jake Boyman.
Jimbo · Lisa · Jimbo · Jimbo: You have Toilet paper on your shoe. / yeah, I guess I do. I'm going to call you 'Toilet.' / My name isn't Toilet. It's Jake. / Hey, a talking toilet!
Boy: A robot with guns for arms shooting a plane made out of guns that fires guns.
Lisa: Oh, my god, I was wrong! And by being corrected, I learned! And no one cared about my feelings!
Lisa Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Milhouse · Lisa · Milhouse: Lisa? Yeah, we totally had a thing, but I had to break it off. / What the hell are you talking about?! / She got too clingy. Milhouse doesn't do clingy.
Lisa · Nelson · Lisa: Nelson, you're not really angry at me. You're full of rage 'cause your father abandoned you. And because you're poor, so you don't feel like you're good enough. You just want somebody to say 'I love you.' / I love you. / I love you, too, Nelson.
Jimbo: Hey, every joke has a kernel of truth!
Jimbo Meta/Self-Referential Observational Bart · Lisa · Bart · Lisa · Bart: Hey, no one with a choice should ever have to be a girl. / You'd do that for me? That is so sweet. / You're a boy, nothing is sweet. / That hurt. / Sweet.
Dolph: I am looking, and don't start a puke war that you cannot finish.
Dolph Character Comedy Escalation Homer: Sometimes when I'm with you, I feel like I'm doing it with a dude.
Homer Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Santa's Little Helper · Homer: At least everyone knows I'm smarter than you. / Ho, how did this happen?
Marge · Homer: At least everyone knows I'm smarter than you. / Ho, how did this happen?
Ralph: Now I've been every ball on the playground!
Ralph Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Lisa · Lisa: Even though you're only eight, your possibilities are infinite. / 27!
Lisa · Ralph · Lisa · Lisa · Ralph: Give me your lunch money. / Okay! / I guess I'm gonna have to get this party started. / Forgive me for this. / Okay!
Lisa: Thank you. Or should I say thank you!
Lisa Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Students · Student: Toilet is Lisa?! / We've been Yentl'd!
Skinner: The only reason Lisa won is because she learned to think like a boy! I turned her into a burping, farting, bullying, math machine!
Ralph: I got hit by boy Lisa and girl Lisa.
Ralph Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Student Escalation Physical/Slapstick Lisa: Now enjoy your stupid flautist.
Lisa Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Top Episodes — The Simpsons
