Nelson

Nelson, you're bleeding. / Nah, happens all the time. Somebody else's blood splatters on me

Hey, wait a minute. You're right. You made me bleed my own blood!

Lunchtime! Ha, ha, ha! - Lunchtime, Bart. It's lunchtime.

Ha! Oh, yeah? You and what army? / This one.

-That's my seat. -Correction, was your seat.

But I only got up to go to the can. I don't see your name on this barstool.

Tell my friends? All right. But I've got some funky friends.

-Any chicks over 8? -Not yet, but the afternoon is young.

Thanks for coming. Nice tie, Nelson. It's your dad's.

It's your dad's.

Whoa, talk about your pieces of crap.

It took me months to steal that bumper.

Help! Help! What was that? You didn't hear nothing!

The better man won, Simpson. You can really drive.

Ha-ha, ha-ha-ha. Loser! Na-na, na-na-na

You got to come out sometime, Simpson.

Women can't be astronauts... They distract the men... so they wouldn't keep their minds on the road.

Hand over all your money. Was it scary? Uh-huh. Ooh, baby.

Eye of the tiger, Bart. Eye of the-- [Grunts] - I stopped it. - And I hurt somebody. Ha-ha.

Thanks, Dad!

Wuss!

Hey, what do you think he meant by that 'fools' remark? Aw, who cares? Time to get me a mountain bike.

Come on, Bart. Ride me. I better not. [Imitating Chicken] He's insulting both of us.

Why, that looks like a 50-cent piece. I'll just bend over and get it. [Yelling] Seems to be caught... between these two flowers. [More Yelling]

I guess I've always used violence as a way of getting attention. Yes. Yes. Me too.

Hey, where's your diaper, baby? Thank goodness he's drawn attention away from my shirt.

Your appearance is comical to me.

Stamp collection? Ha-ha! / Ohh. Bart's pain is funny, but mine isn't.

You'll always have them to remind you of the time when you were the whole world's special little guy. Thanks, Mom. And now you can go back to just being you instead of a one-dimensional character with a silly catchphrase. D'oh! Ay, caramba! Hidilly-ho! Ha-ha! Excellent.

Give me your fortune or I'll pound your withered old face in! Oh, I like his energy. Put him on the callback list.

Ha! It thinks it's people.

Hey, Bart! Your epidermis is showing!

See, epidermis means your hair. So technically it's true. That's what makes it so funny.

That's not fair, Nelson. They didn't have the Killmatic 3000 back then.

Hey, records from that era are spotty at best.

Hey! Keep it down, man.

Well, as long as he's hurt.

Good idea. Milhouse, you and me will be Omega Team. Todd, you and Data are Team Strike Force. Nelson, that leaves you and Martin. - Team Discovery Channel.

Your wussiness better come in handy.

Hey. And no one manhandles the bosom chum of Nelson Muntz.

I never hang out with him, normally.

Hey, nice, quote, uniforms, end quote.

Hot damn! No more sittin' in the dirt at the drive-in.

But on the plus side, I knocked over the sun sphere. - Ha-ha!

Hey, fun boys! Get a room!

It's a secret lab where they take the brains out of zombies and put 'em in the heads of other zombies to create a race of super-zombies.

Aren't you gonna say 'Ha-ha'?

Ha-ha!

Damn! Dang! Darn!

I don't know, but he's got lethal tuna breath.

Bite me. Cram it. You're dead. Get bent, ma'am.

Don't you realize your butt sticks out? - It does not! - Hey! - Ha-ha!

The moose? - The hoose! The hoose! - Is this right? - [Screams] Turn off the noozle! - The noodles? What noodles? - The noozle at the end of the hoose!

You? Why would you like me? No girls like me!

Okay. But if anybody sees us, I'm just there to steal your bike.

You don't understand. She loves to climb in here. - [Shrieks] - I believe you! I don't care!

'Nuke The Whales'? You don't really believe that, do you? - I don't know. Gotta nuke something.

Guts. And black stuff. And about 50 Slim Jims.

This ought to shut her up.

'Cause your mom had a three-month waiting list.

Thanks for helping me out. You're a stand-up babe.

Mmm-mmm. Maybe 'cause you were the first person... that ever thought there was a nice guy inside me.

Hey, Houdini! Why don't you saw Martin in half? Oh, I'm not the kind of magician who does tricks. I'm a mathemagician!

Nelson, Nelson, Nelson. How many kids have you beaten up this year? I don't know, 50? Ah, 50. Where does the time go?

Ha-ha!

Hey, tubby, want another Pop-Tart, tubby?

Give me the ball and your lunch money.

Give me a 'B'? I won't give you a 'B,' but I'll tear you a new 'A.'

Ha-ha!

[Nelson] Ha-

Point of 'odor.' Lisa stinks.

Hey, Simpson. Race ya. First one to the front of the bus gets Martin's lunch money. What? Go apple! Go orange! Go banana!

How many monkey butlers will there be? One at first, but he'll train others.

Scaredy got scared!

You liar! You did it, you lying jerk! Take that! You did it! Objection! He's not asking any questions. Hmm. I'm gonna allow this.

Here she is- the big house. The stony lonesome. The thug jug. The mobster trap. - Penn State. The old crook-

I know. Let's go pick some huckleberries! - Yeah! - Huckleberries! All right!

That is so 1991.

and Sherri, but not Terri. / Ha-ha!

[Nelson imitating farts]

Oh! Oh! Oh! Bart! Bart! Bart! Over here! Over here! Um, I'll take- Rick me! Rick me! Nelson. Saving the best for last, huh, Bart? Yeah. That must be it.

Well, you'd be surprised. He gets pretty competitive when he's drinking. Come on, Dad. We're playing capture the flag. Sorry, Son. Daddy's down for the day. Why don't you go capture me some more potato salad.

Ha-ha!

Ha-ha!

Hey, blindy, have a nice trip.! [Ralph Screams] [Thud] Ha-ha.!

Uh, are you all right, man? - Uh, I think so. - How about now? - [Screams] Ha-ha!

Stand back and watch the pro. - Shouldn't you put on a batting helmet? - Nah. They mess up my hair.

Whoa! Can I try that sometime? - Yeah, sure. Never hurts to have a second set of prints on a gun.

My mom's got bigger problems. She doesn't give a crap what I do. - Wow, you are so lucky.

You're not going out without a scarf, are ya? - Nah, I don't need one. - Hmm. It's your health.

That's my dad's shootin' car. Just three more payments and it's ours.

First, how about I try and peg you in the stomach? - Mmm, no, thanks.

You're an octo-wussy. 'Whoa, look at me! I'm Bart Simpson! I'm scared to use a gun! I want to marry Milhouse. I walk around like this-' # La la la-la la #

Oh, my God. - Whoa! Major shot! You even compensated for the crooked sight.

Shall we bury it or chuck it into a car full of girls?

Relax, Simpson. It was either him or you. No court would convict you.

[Groans] Oww! What are you doing? - I got bored, so I started slapping you.

All right! Finally, a real home! - Not you. Bart.

Hey, hey. These are study aids. They're for novelty purposes only. If a few bad apples use 'em for cheating, I can't be held responsible

I'll give you the numerators free... but the denominators are gonna cost ya

Well, la-di-da, Lady 'Cheaterly.'

Hey! My milk. I traded my math book for that

Homer's done a ton of crap that never made the papers. My mom shoplifts all the time. Stuff she doesn't even need. My dad gets in car accidents on purpose.

I'm solving world hunger.

Very. But I can't help wondering where I go from here.

Ha-ha!