Gi Annoyed Grunt

Bart:we are not all naked under our clothes

Milhouse:Bart, can we go to Banana Republic? There's a mannequin there I have a crush on.

Bart:Milhouse, that is the most pathetic thing I ever... Oh, my God. She's beautiful.

Bart:Bullies! Wait. They're employees. They have to be nice to us. Let's go.

Bart:What size do I smell like?

Jimbo:Dude, don't lose it in the workplace. We already on thin ice with Mr. Friedman.

Mr. Friedman:The shoe size calibrator is for measuring feet and nothing else.

Bart:I want it overy-undery, not undery-overy. Re-lace them all.

Nelson:I'm leaving this job to work at Jolly Tamale because the hours are better and my mom's really sick.

Jimbo · Nelson:When you leave, what happens to your rule about not whaling on customers? That rule leaves with me.

Army Recruiter:Yo, I don't know what I dig more, hip-hop, krunk, or serving my country.

Bart · Army Recruiter:What? Being gay? Close. The Army.

Army Recruiter:Not wars, global struggles. You guys like globes?

Army Recruiter:Even the dumbest teenagers in the dumbest town in the dumbest state know better than to join the Army.

Ralph:What's this assembly for? A surprise Doodlebops concert?

Army Recruiter:Well, what if there was a violent video game that you could play for free, plus it's real life and not a game at all?

Army Recruiter · Skinner:Do you guys know where we can find some awesome kids to show it to? Dearborn, Michigan? No, here.

Bart:I'm imagining that knight is me

Army Recruiter:Now you can't legally join the army until you're 18, but if you pre-enlist now, we will save you a spot in America's next unresolvable conflict.

Army Recruiter · Skinner:Thanks for fitting us in, Sergeant Skinner. Well, I'd do anything for my beloved Army. Well, how about re-enlisting? How about you bite me?

Skinner · Army Recruiter:Well, I'd do anything for my beloved Army. Well, how about re-enlisting? How about you bite me?

Homer:Eh, big deal, by the time Bart's 18, we're going to control the world. We're China, right?

Bart · Homer:How come I can't join the army, but Lisa gets to be in PETA? I think she just answers their phone.

Lisa:Fur is murder! When's the Krusty movie coming out?

Lisa:Yeah, I'm a real class act.

Army Recruiter:Sounds, uh, like you're kind of tired of being bossed around at home.

Army Recruiter:Hey, a big target like you will be home a lot sooner than that.

Homer · Army Recruiter:Where's my parade? We have this issue of Parade Magazine.

Homer:Army private: $14,000 a year. D'oh!

Marge:Homer, with all the things you've done-- go into space, attend clown college, join the Navy-- I never thought you'd join the Army.

Homer:Who else is gonna keep oil under a hundred dollars a barrel? You? Don't make me laugh.

Homer:You couldn't... Aw, oh, oh, don't, no. Daddy's just teasing. Of course you could. You could keep it under a hundred. Yes, you could. No, she couldn't.

Soldier:'Cause mine is I care too much.

Drill Sergeant:While you've been standing here, your hair's been cut, and your clothes have been replaced with army fatigues.

Drill Sergeant:Here's your nicknames: Brooklyn, Hollywood, Kissimmee-St. Cloud, Florida, Maverick, Blanket Hog, Newman's Own, Master of Suspense, England's Rose, Nickname Pending, Bram Stoker's Dracula, and Snowflake.

Homer:What happens to me in the summer?

Drill Sergeant:You're gonna sit here and eat donuts, while the rest of the unit does push-ups! Just for that, they'll do the push-ups one-handed, while you eat Alaskan King salmon and I give you a foot rub!

Drill Sergeant:I like rubbing people's feet, Corns and bunions are a treat, can give massage real well, If you know why, don't ask, don't tell.

Homer:Can you say, 'Side effects may include drowsiness and loss of appetite'?

Homer:Hmm, sounded better in my head

Commander · Soldier:Frontline infantry. Frontline infantry. Frontline infantry. Frontline infantry. I joined to make recruitment films. Well, you know where you're gonna get good footage, don't you? Ooh, tell me. Frontline infantry!

Homer:That's an odd way to start handing out medals.

Soldier · Homer:Don't you get it? They're using us as patsies to make the Army look good. Are we that stupid?

Homer:I'm gonna stay here and let them test their laser-guided super weapons on me. Like that one.

Homer:Ah, stay crunchy in milk. I will! Stay crunchy, men. Stay crunchy.

Colonel:This'll be like shooting cats off of Grandma's sofa.

Homer:Oh, my God, I just remembered. It's Chinese New Year! Gung hay fat choi! Gung hay fat choi!

Colonel:I sure as hell can! Congress slipped it into the National Broccoli Day Proclamation.

Homer · Soldier:Whew, this pain feels so real. Uh, it is real. Oh. Guess I'd better do my part.

Barney · Moe:What you doing, Moe? Drawing a wang on Marmaduke? Heck, no. I'm challenging myself with one of these, uh, Sudoku games.

Barney · Moe:What, that Japanese puzzle in which no numeral can be repeated in a row, column, or box? That's how it works? I was just drawing wangs on the numbers.

Moe · Homer:The Salvation Army? You got it. Not that Army, the one from Stripes!

Moe:Hey, some things mean more to me than money. Like a whole lot of money. Why did you just say that sentence fragment? Uh, it, uh--long story.

Homer · Marge:How would you like to be stacked naked in a pile with a hillbilly girl pointing at you and laughing? That was our last Christmas card.

Homer · Moe:How would you like to be stacked naked in a pile with a hillbilly girl pointing at you and laughing? That was our last Christmas card.

Homer:'H' means 'hot'?!

Comic Book Guy · Soldier:I am not bald. I am balding! Ugh, why will no one honor the '-ding'? I honor the '-ding', sir. The hell are you talking about?

Comic Book Guy:I don't belong here. I am not bald. I am balding! Ugh, why will no one honor the '-ding'?

Colonel:Never back down. Never admit a mistake. That's why we've won over half the wars we've fought.

Moe:Wow, uh... this'll be the first time I ever watered down my booze.

Moe:Wow, uh... this'll be the first time I ever watered down my booze. Moe, why are your eyes darting back and forth so much? Oh, I-I'm just thinking about a great tennis match I saw once, yeah.

Moe:Uh, uh, now I'm thinking about ping-pong. A... ver-very fast chess game. A... snappy David Mamet play.

Colonel:Great Cheney's Ghost! You win.