Homer becomes annoyed with movie theaters, so Bart teaches him how to download movies illegally. Homer is delighted with his discovery of free movies until he's caught for piracy. Deputy Director Gratman, the FBI's anti-piracy boss, is tasked with hunting down Homer, who stands accused of illegally downloading a film.
WAR
62.9
Wins Above Replacement
“Steal This Episode” ranks #66 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 84.4 — Elite. The episode packs 62 scored jokes at 3.2 per minute, averaging 7.1 on craft and 6.9 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: You're pirating my movie? The hell you are! Piracy is stealing! You're taking money out of my family's mouths!
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Neighbor: Yeah, we ripped a version off Bootleg Bay just like you taught us.
Neighbor Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Marge: It was me! I was the one who told the FBI.
Marge Character Comedy ★ Rewatch TV announcer: The FOX network forbids the broadcast of step-by-step instructions for illegally downloading copyrighted intellectual property. In the meantime, please enjoy this footage from NASCAR's 2011 Martinsville Cup.
Prisoner: My brother lost his job as a grip on a movie set because of piracy. He had to sell his Jet Ski. A grip without a Jet Ski ain't no grip at all!
All Jokes — 62 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer: The only reason to have done stuff over the weekend.
Homer Observational Deadpan/Understatement Comic Book Guy: Actually, this one undoes the stuff from the last one, so it's a de-boot.
Milhouse · Nelson: But what if I want some cooled water? / You should have thought of that when you were not seeing the movie.
Homer: No, no, don't stop! I'm sorry I got mad. I'll do that thing you like.
Homer Cringe/Discomfort Reaction Beat Ned: ♪ Amazing grace / How loud I sing / To drown the spoilers out! ♪
Ned Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Emily-Beth? We can't afford Emily-Beth! She brings her own puppets!
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Homer: Two adults, two kids, and one senior with the mind of a baby so he should be free.
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Cashier · Homer: For the 3-D show, that'll be $72. / What?! / Or, for ten dollars more, you can see it in IMAX Hobbit Frame Rate Virtual Reality Vision.
Bart: The motorcycle dudes are chicks! I wonder what else is chicks?
Bart Observational Character Comedy Commercial announcer: Also available in 'Arctic Slut,' 'Morning After Melon' and 'Elon Musk.'
Homer: If I wanted to pay for commercials I can't skip, I'd sign up for Hulu Plus!
Homer Observational Meta/Self-Referential Homer: This guy's on his cell phone, she's texting, he's sexting, and that guy brought a baby to a 9:00 movie!
Homer Escalation Observational TV announcer: The FOX network forbids the broadcast of step-by-step instructions for illegally downloading copyrighted intellectual property. In the meantime, please enjoy this footage from NASCAR's 2011 Martinsville Cup.
Homer: That was the greatest thing I've seen on a computer that I can talk about with you in the room.
Homer · Bart: How did you know how to do that? / I'm under 30.
Comic Book Guy: I like that James Bond is ugly now. I like that he doesn't have any gadgets. I like that he's not good at shooting, doesn't say funny quips, or do any James Bond stuff.
Homer: All I need to see this movie is a laptop and a Web site based in a country that's really just an offshore oil platform.
Homer Absurdist Observational Bart: It mixes the wonder of movie-going with the rush of stealing.
Bart Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Barney · Lenny: No more jerks talking on their cell phones! / No more jerks telling me not to talk on my cell phone!
Homer: Tonight's movie is Life is Funny, directed by Judd Apatow. It's based on his life, starring his family and ad-libbed by his friends. So for the next three and a half hours, enjoy!
Homer Observational Character Comedy Movie characters · Judd Apatow: Did you just pass gas while we were making love? / You're the one who hired the Korean taco truck for our private school fund-raiser. / I live it, he writes it.
Ned: We may be going to Hell for seeing 'side bosom,' but this backyard is a little slice of Heaven, all thanks to Homer Simpson!
Ned Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Marge: When I watched that pirated movie, I was stealing with my eyes.
Marge Absurdist Character Comedy Marge: Now this money will end up in the hands of the talented people who make magic happen on the silver screen.
Marge Visual Gag Irony/Sarcasm FBI Agent · FBI Boss: I wanted to catch serial killers. / 'I wanted to catch serial killers.'
FBI Boss: From now on, you will lay down your lives to protect America's chick flicks, buddy comedies and steady stream of animated misfires.
Crowd member: My childhood has been un-ruined!
FBI Agent: I'm not wearing an undershirt and my badge is poking into my skin.
Homer: Superintendent Chalmers, you never forgave me for that time we wore the same Hawaiian shirt to that luau!
FBI Agents: Copyrighted material! Don't look at it! Someone sell me a ticket! Ear plugs in! Blinders on! We trained for this!
Prisoner: My brother lost his job as a grip on a movie set because of piracy. He had to sell his Jet Ski. A grip without a Jet Ski ain't no grip at all!
Homer · Prisoners: What are you guys in for? Bank robbery. Drug trafficking. What about you? Movie piracy. What?! People in show business work hard to make those movies.
Bart: Only with less growling when I go near his food.
Bart Character Comedy Observational Bart: It's not even the worst kind of pirate Dad's ever been.
Bart Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Homer: There's no shampoo, just soap!
Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Swedish Consul: You're as safe here as you would be in the Skatteskrapan.
Swedish Consul: Bah, your Hollywood studios are the real thieves, claiming all their hit movies have lost money. I spit on their bookkeeping.
Barney: Why don't they make a sequel to Taken where The Hangover guys get taken and the only ones that could rescue them is Fast and Furious.
Barney: And why don't they make a sequel to Taken where The Hangover guys get taken and the only ones that could rescue them is Fast and Furious.
Death metal band: ♪ Respecting the law, respecting the law / Copyright law, copyright law ♪
Swedish Consul: Oh-oh, Swedes love death metal. It reminds us of death.
FBI Boss: Damn those Peace Prize-giving fish-smokers.
Lisa: Consulates are regional offices, which serve the embassy in the capitol.
Marge: It was me! I was the one who told the FBI.
Marge Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Marge: Who would've thought the authorities would use a confession against me?
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Homer: To love and cherish? To aid and abet?
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Homer: Well, you did! And they got laughs. Solid laughs!
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Marge · Homer: I never wanted to say funny vows. / Well, you did! And they got laughs. Solid laughs!
Judd Apatow: Art created by writers, directors, and the guy who uses a computer to erase or enhance nipples.
Judd Apatow: The personal rabbis, Seth Rogen.
Seth Rogen: They left off my director's commentary! It didn't even have a blooper reel!
Hollywood Executive: An Erin Brockovich but with more cleavage!
Hollywood Executive: Good Lord, he's hitting all four quadrants!
Executive · Jaden Smith: Will Smith's family wants to play your family. / I'd be Jaden.
Homer: I'll sign with whoever can convince Channing Tatum to gain the most weight to play me.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Neighbor: Yeah, we ripped a version off Bootleg Bay just like you taught us.
Neighbor Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Homer: You're pirating my movie? The hell you are! Piracy is stealing! You're taking money out of my family's mouths!
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Homer: prof-it par-tic-i-pa-tion.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Homer: No bargain matinees! And tell your friends it was great! Buy the stuff they advertise in the commercials before it! Homer in the movie wears Ask Body Spray and so should you!
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Callback Homer: What have we learned about not blindly supporting our husband?
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Lisa: Well, both groups claim their intentions are noble, but at the end of the day, they're both trying to steal as much money as they can.
Lisa Observational Character Comedy Bart: So... everyone's a pirate?
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