In this loose parody of the musical/movie Evita, Lisa is elected Student Body president, but is unaware that the school staff is using her for their own devices and as a scapegoat if something goes wrong.
WAR
40.5
Wins Above Replacement
“The President Wore Pearls” ranks #380 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 75.8 — Great. The episode packs 73 scored jokes at 3.6 per minute, averaging 6.7 on craft and 6.4 on impact, with Skinner landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Marge: I played Candy Land with Maggie and ended up throwing vodka in her face.
Marge Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Willie: All we wanted were hats with a wee light on top. Then one day the mine collapsed. No one made it out alive. Not even Willie!
Willie Dark/Subversive Misdirection ★ Rewatch Homer · Lisa: I'm not driving 45 minutes a day! But this is my dream. Oh, why can't you have a normal dream like being an Olympic figure skater?
Skinner: It's like you're Harry Potter without the magic and wonder.
Homer · Lisa: Are you crazy? I'm not getting up at 6:30 every morning so you can prance around a frozen pond and think you're better than me. Okay! Over my dead body!
All Jokes — 73 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer: Finally, they'll teach our kids the dangers of doubling down on a six.
Homer Observational Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Marge: I really shouldn't be here. I have a problem with games of chance.
Marge Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Marge: I played Candy Land with Maggie and ended up throwing vodka in her face.
Marge Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Marge: Bet? System? Betting system? God is telling me to gamble!
Marge Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Fat Tony: My fee for this evening goes to victims of my criminal recidivism.
Fat Tony: So relax, have fun and please God don't piss me off.
Martin: I got the idea from an episode of Saved by the Bell. It was always on too late for me.
Martin Character Comedy Observational Homer: Woo-hoo! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh...
Homer Physical/Slapstick Running Gag Bart: First thing tomorrow, we're getting a PlayStation One.
Bart: Give me most of it in cash and the rest in suitcases to carry the cash.
Bart Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Willie: I'll be bringin' sparkplugs to chuck at people I don't like, like you!
Willie Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Fat Tony: Think I won't manhandle a little boy?
Milhouse: Look at me! I'm a big man! But I break just like a little girl.
Milhouse Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Martin: I should've known. The same thing happened on Saved by the Bell.
Martin Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Martin · Skinner: I'll have that milk now. Easy there. That's whole milk. I'm a private citizen now! I can drink what I like!
Martin: You won't have Martin Prince to kick around anymore!
Rental workers · Skinner: We're from Acme Amusement Rental. We're looking for Principal Skinner. Uh. Yes, we all are. Whoo!
Nelson: I'm not saying I have all the answers, but I do have all the answer keys to every test.
Nelson Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Nelson: Fractions, dinosaurs, foreign money, the first Thanksgiving.
Nelson: Real estate license exam. My ticket to freedom!
Nelson Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Bart: What a delicious quiche! I drive a pink Miata!
Bart Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Marge: Honey, you could be popular. You've just gotta be yourself in a whole new way!
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Observational ★ Rewatch Bart: My name is Nelson. I use a salad fork. La-dee-dah! I wash my face!
Bart Character Comedy Absurdist Lisa · Bart: Where did you get that tutu? Clothesline.
Student · Lisa: What is she yakkin' about? I rest my case.
Lisa: Lisa's campaign song about being a bookworm
Lisa Character Comedy Observational Nelson: Hey, I've got a song, too. I am Iron Man! Vote for me! Ah, screw it.
Nelson Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Skinner: Wow, she even beat perennial write-in candidate 'Skinner Sucks.'
Chalmers: She's captured their imagination like a bright piece of construction paper.
Chalmers Observational Misdirection ★ Rewatch Edna: Well, if you ask me, a woman's weakness is her sense of vanity.
Edna Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Lisa · Skinner: So when's my inauguration? Hmm. Let's see. When hell freezes over, tough guy.
Lisa · Others: Lisa's makeover montage song
Marge: Like you're the wife of a businessman. I wish I'd married a businessman. Then I'd have nice things.
Marge Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Gypsy: Is our Frisbee now.
Willie: Look at me. I'm Milhouse. I tuck my shirt into me underpants. I've got no friends. So I confide in Willie.
Willie Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Teacher: Oh, hello, Lisa. We were just discussing Vasco da Gama.
Teacher Misdirection Cringe/Discomfort Teacher: And I'll have hypnotherapy when?
Teacher Character Comedy Observational Teacher: I've got a question. You're crazy.
Teacher Misdirection Deadpan/Understatement Lisa: Move the brush fire hazard needle?
Lisa Absurdist Observational Skinner: It's like you're Harry Potter without the magic and wonder.
Skinner: That little girl should learn to read things before she signs them.
Skinner Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Skinner · Chalmers: Boy, she'll believe anything. 'Key release boilerplate'? I find that very hard to believe. Mmm-hmm. And yet there it is.
Homer: You're like Geraldine Ferraro. Except you won where she failed miserably.
Homer Misdirection ★ Rewatch Bart · Homer: I was being sarcastic. You were? No, I was being sincere. Oh, I'm so confused.
Bart: On my chess set, the pawns are all Hamburglars.
Bart Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Chalmers: Why don't you just give me a sandwich board that says 'male prostitute'?
Student: Hello, self-esteem! Repo man! Ahhh!
Student Physical/Slapstick Misdirection ★ Rewatch Skinner: I'll be cooking my Lean Cuisine in your kiln tonight!
Skinner Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Skinner: I'll be cooking my Lean Cuisine in your kiln tonight!
Bart: Lisa is a sellout. Lisa is a sellout.
Bart Character Comedy Running Gag Nelson: They eliminated English for Fat Kids! Okay, you'll do!
Nelson Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Bart: And it wasn't exactly San Diego State to begin with.
Homer: There's Bugs Bunny, Fat Elvis, Autumn in New England, Bats of the Southwest, all heroes.
Homer Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Homer · Lisa: Do you want to see Elvis kiss a bat? Hey, baby, come here. I want to kiss you. No, don't kiss me. You tricked me into betraying my fellow students!
Skinner: Look at your constitution. It's written on the back of a place mat. And not a good place mat. It's from someplace called 'Doodles.'
Skinner Escalation Observational ★ Rewatch Skinner: Any student caught striking will be severely disciplined unless all of you do it. Then I'm stymied.
Skinner · Agnes: Our budget is stretched tighter than Mother's sauna pants. Seymour! Quit using me in analogies. Yes, Mother.
Lisa · Students: What about gym? Meh.
Skinner: Why didn't I cancel Sign Making and Creative Chanting?
Chalmers · Citizen: Would you be willing to pay an extra $1.23 in taxes to fund them? No way! I'm saving for a speedboat.
Bart: You do? Cool. A blank check for mayhem.
Bart Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Marge Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Chief Wiggum: Remember, boys. These are little kids. So take out your tiny batons.
Wiggum: You mean, the mayor who kept me waiting for two hours in that restaurant? I ate so much bread...
Wiggum Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Wiggum · Lou: Well, I can't take that rattlesnake out of his mailbox now, now can I? Yes, Chief, you could. Well, let me ask you this. Shut up.
Michael Moore · Reporter: Kids who don't get to take music and art are 10% more likely to become chronically unemployed and appear in one of my movies. Where did you get that statistic? Your mother!
Theme Park Zombie: Zombie eat brains but zombie cannot swallow this injustice.
Bart · Reporter: Her brother had this to say. Lisa is a nut. She has a rubber butt. Every time she turns around, it goes putt putt.
Willie: All we wanted were hats with a wee light on top. Then one day the mine collapsed. No one made it out alive. Not even Willie!
Willie Dark/Subversive Misdirection ★ Rewatch Edna: I don't mean to interrupt your advice from the janitor, but I say cut off the head and the body will die.
Edna Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Lisa · Homer: Oh, this place is paradise! Well, I guess this story has a happy ending after all. Just like my last massage.
Homer · Lisa: I'm not driving 45 minutes a day! But this is my dream. Oh, why can't you have a normal dream like being an Olympic figure skater?
Homer · Lisa: Are you crazy? I'm not getting up at 6:30 every morning so you can prance around a frozen pond and think you're better than me. Okay! Over my dead body!
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