Martin

Martin · Bart:Student reports Bart for vandalism while Bart is actively spray-painting

Martin:May I go outside and read under a tree?

Martin · Student:-Call me Papa. -Some ketchup for your buns, Papa?

Martin:A blindfolded chimp with a pencil in his teeth has more chances than you.

Martin:I'm sorry, Bart. I don't know the rules of your sport. I didn't want to interfere with a ball in play.

Martin:They laugh at me? I'd always considered myself rather popular.

Martin:My speed with numbers, my years as a hall monitor... my prize-winning dioramas, they mean nothing to them?

Martin:No, this won't do at all. We have to clean up this room. And we'll need a fern. No room is complete without plant life.

Martin:Mischief varies inversely with proximity to the authority figure.

Martin:Mischief varies inversely with proximity to the authority figure.

Martin:Pushing a boy into the girls' lavatory was such a thrill! The screams, the humiliation, the fact that it wasn't me!

Martin:The old Martin no longer exists. Come on, fellows, to the arcade!

Martin · Student · Martin:Asimov, Bester, Clarke-- / What about Bradbury? / I'm aware of his work.

Martin · Student · Student 2:Thanks for your vote. / Voting's for geeks! / You got that right.

Martin · Bart:I'd have thought an atomic bomb would kill him. -Now you know better.

Milhouse · Martin:-It smells like my grandpa. -Turn the page, Bart.

Martin · Bart:I'll take 1 to 3, Milhouse will have 4 to 6... and Bart will take 7 to 9. -Wait a minute, what about zero?

Martin:In the event of a zero... possession will be determined by Rock, Scissor, Paper.

Martin:We want it to last forever... so the last one alive can be buried with it.

Bart · Martin:-What do you mean, the last one alive? -I meant years from now!

Bart · Martin:-Tell him what we do with squealers. -It's worse than when you have to pee?

Martin:If you hadn't tied me up, I could be saving the comic.

Martin:I wanted Carl Yastrzemski with the big sideburns!

Martin · Bart:-What's your point? -Nothing. It just ticks me off.

Martin:Careful, boys. It took me months to steal that bumper.

Martin:Deploy, damn you! Deploy!

Martin:Save your palliative clichés for the next poor sap, Doctor.

Martin:That racer transformed me into the twisted creature... you see before you.

Martin · Bart:What did I just tell you? Kill spectators.

Martin · Other students:Systems analyst, systems analyst, systems analyst. Systems analyst.

Martin:God, shmod-- I want my monkey man.

Martin:No one has sat next to me since I successfully lobbied to have the school day extended by 20 minutes.

Martin:Listen, Bart, there's such a thing as spending too much time together.

Martin · Martin's Mother:Spare me your euphemisms. It's fat camp for Daddy's chubby little secret! You promised you wouldn't make a scene.

Nelson · Martin:Hey, where's your diaper, baby? Thank goodness he's drawn attention away from my shirt.

Martin:It's 'photosynthesis'! Damn your feeble brain!

Martin · Apu:How much is your penny candy? - Surprisingly expensive.

Martin · Burns:I have nothing to offer you but my love. I specifically said 'no geeks.' But my mom says I'm cool.

Martin:Greetings, fellow geode-ologist.

Bart · Student · Martin:What has four legs and ticks? - A walking clock? - A walking clock! I'd wager he has some variety of walking clock in that box.

Martin:My raisin roundies!

Martin:Take your best shot. I'm wearing 17 layers.

Martin:I could've been equipment manager, but no!

Martin:Don't make me run! I'm full of chocolate!

Martin:I hardly ever let Mother fight for me anymore.

Martin:Spring forth, burly protector, and save me.

Martin:You leave that to the baron and me.

Martin:I am the Wondrous Wizard of Latin! I am a dervish of declension and a conjurer of conjugation... with a million hit points and maximum charisma!

Martin:We could go rent a carpet shampooer.

Bart · Martin:We're not going to a grammar rodeo. - That was just an alibi, Milton. - Martin.

Bart · Martin:We're not going to a grammar rodeo. That was just an alibi, Milton. Martin.

Martin · Al Gore doll:I must have spent our last $10 on this Al Gore doll. - You are hearing me talk.

Martin:This never would've happened if we'd gone to Macon, Georgia. I'm just sayin', is all.

Martin:The leatheroleum covers were worth the extra money! Oh! You can smell the benzene! Oh, when the kids see these layouts and fonts... you're going to be the most popular girl in school!

Martin · Krabappel:Mrs. Krabappel, I also have an announcement to make! / Can't it wait till I retire?

Martin:I want one and all to join me in celebrating the anniversary of my portentous birth!

Martin:Uh, yes. Let me just say this about that

Nelson · Martin:Hey, Houdini! Why don't you saw Martin in half? Oh, I'm not the kind of magician who does tricks. I'm a mathemagician!

Martin · Milhouse:Now, prepare to marvel at the mysteries of the universe as I make this remainder disappear. But seven goes into 28 four times. Uh- This is a magic seven!

Martin:I told you we should've served cake instead of oysters!

Martin · Edna Krabappel:More tea, Edna? What kind of little boy has a tea set? I think we both know the answer to that. A lucky boy!

Martin · Bart:you must promise not to fall in love with me. [Students laugh] Now Martin's scoring off me. Oh, that is it!

Martin:We all know this is Milhouse's fault.

Martin · Student:The thing about huckleberries is... once you've had fresh, you'll never go back to canned. Uh- Uh- So anyway, I kicked the guy's ass.

Martin:All right, gang. Shirts and skins. Let's hustle. - [ Gunshot ] [ Tires Screeching ]

Martin:Actually there are. Five, 10, 15, 20- Uh, can you two share a hook?

Martin:I can't write this. It's a grammatical nightmare.

Martin:That's like asking the square root of a million. No one will ever know.

Martin:'Argh! I'm angry.' That's like something my dad would say.

Martin:You're like my mommy after a box of wine.

Jimbo · Martin:Give me your lunch money! But it's after lunch. It's just an expression. Like 'kick your butt' could involve no kicking whatsoever.

Martin:Once he's gone, they'll kill us!

Martin:When you leave home in the morning, you may be kissing your dolls goodbye for the last time

Martin:My sash says 'Ultraman'

Bart · Martin · Nelson · Database · Milhouse:Teacher hit me with a ruler / I cracked her in the bean / With a frozen Jimmy Dean / And she ain't my teacher no more / Because she's dead

Martin:These Batpants have been shredded by the Riddler. No, just your ass. That's what I call my ass.

Martin:If I understand the female mind, and I do, they're plotting against us.

Martin:No one told me there'd be pulling.

Martin:I got the idea from an episode of Saved by the Bell. It was always on too late for me.

Martin:I should've known. The same thing happened on Saved by the Bell.

Martin · Skinner:I'll have that milk now. Easy there. That's whole milk. I'm a private citizen now! I can drink what I like!

Martin:You won't have Martin Prince to kick around anymore!

Lisa · Martin:Hey, why do they call them 'field trips'? We never go to a field. / Oh, untrue. Last Thursday, we visited a battlefield.

Martin:I'm bem-barrassed for you. The following 'ha-ha' is not from amusement but an expression of contempt. Ha-ha!

Bart · Milhouse · Martin:Because I'm 'it.' Now whoever finishes first gets lemonade. BOTH: Yay! For me.

Girl · Milhouse · Martin:You guys need your cootie shots. (BOTH CRYING OUT IN PAIN) Well, I hate this job, but I love the health plan.

Bart · Martin:I'm throwin' a little sip 'n' quip at the Playdude Treehouse Saturday night at the top of the ladder. Be there or be square. I want to be a triangle. You're not invited.

Martin:I drew him with Canadian Prime Minister Louis St. Laurent. Their relationship was frosty at best.

Martin · CHUM robot:Childlike Humanoid Urban Muchacho -- Or... CHUM! / Don't hold my hand. It's creepy.

Martin:I shall pattern my reign on Enguerrand VII, Sire de Coucy!

Milhouse · Martin:I do not want change either. I can get horses mud. Girls will love! And I'm Jared from the subway ads. I have just a little overweight, and ambiguous sexuality.

Comic Book Guy · Martin:We didn't have any ground beef. Yeah, but you did have slim jims, a cheese grater and rubber bands to hold it all together.

Comic Book Guy · Martin:We didn't have any ground beef. Yeah, but you did have slim jims, a cheese grater and rubber bands to hold it all together.

Martin:One of my bus mates has purloined my French horn.

Martin:Individually, we are weak like a single twig. But as a bundle, we form a mighty faggot.

Martin:I've set up a trust. It bypasses the inheritance tax. Only till 2008. Look into it!

Martin:This is the turning point in the eternal battle of brain v. brawn.

Martin:By my calculations, we're only one strike away from victory. Numbers are fun.

Martin:This is as boring as mainstream cinema.

Martin:This is as boring as mainstream cinema.

Martin · Nelson:Skip, skip, skip to my Lou... Top of the morning, Nelson. And to you, Martin.

Martin:All here, from Asimov to Zarathustra.

Martin · Bart:You can brush, and I can blow! / Well, I agree you blow. / A lot of people blow, but no one blows like you.

Martin · Bart:It could be one of the major homos! / You're one of the major...

Martin:To quote Mark Twain, 'rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.'

Martin:For years I've worn underwear with a wedgie-accommodating waistband. On that fateful day, these mighty whiteys saved my life.

Martin:I spent an hour fashioning an escape raft and three days crafting this modesty skirt.

Martin:Indeed, it has the most finger loss of any youth organization.

Martin:Total chaos. We're two minutes away from a roll call vote on the nonbinding resolution, and no Azerbaijan!

Martin:To the extent you can trust the word of a Belgian, yes!

Martin:No. I'm not a smart nerd. I'm just a weak nerd.

Martin · Nelson:Mush, nerds, mush! I'm part of a team!

Martin:This isn't Larry. It's just cotton balls on toilet paper rolls.

Martin:Mine features indigenous Hopi songs. * And a hie na ho na hey. *

Martin:a brilliant little boy receives an 'A' for his amazing presentation.

Martin · Nelson:Uh, this epoxy you've been using is water soluble, which means it's not weather-resistant. Dumb it down for me. Um... bike... sticky... water go bye-bye?

Martin:Conflicted, conflicted, conflicted.

Martin:Conflict resolved. Conflict resolved. Conflict resolved.

Martin · Kids:A new bully has risen. / Simpson! Boombaye!

Martin · Fourth Graders:I deem this victory Pyrrhic! ALL Pyrrhic! Pyrrhic! Your response is puerile! ALL Puerile! Puerile!

Martin · Lisa · Bart:I can see why they call you The Great Simpsina. / My friends call me Lisa. / She has no friends.

Bart · Martin:No one cancels my free play! / It's okay. Thanks for making me part of the revolution.

Martin:'Testis,' my friend.

Martin:To be a mathlete! Without the 'M.'

Martin:Fly, orb, and find thy hoop!

Martin:Research shows it's impossible to gaze at a baby seal and say anything but... Aw...

Martin:And at science fairs, the 'aw's get the 'A's.

Martin:Heavens to Asimov!

Martin:I love when you're sleeping and at peace.

Martin:The breast joke! I-I served it up. Why won't he love me?!

Martin:At the risk of inflaming Sister Fate, this bully-free period has been an Arcadian idyll!

Martin · Lisa:This is a happy ending? / Well, he's tough on nerds, but easy on the eyes.

Martin:All my extra credit points are like frequent flyer miles on a bankrupt airline.

Bart · Martin:You mean my sister? She's your sister? The plot thickens. Clueless little Lisa doesn't suspect a thing.

Bullies · Martin:We put two of those guys up there just for using a big word. 'Caché' is not a big word.

Martin:Two languages, and somehow no one will talk to you. Gi estas vera. Mi tre soleca.