Fat Man And Little Boy

Bart · Milhouse:Miss Lucy rhyme with deliberate near-profanity fake-outs ('behind' instead of 'butt', cutting off before curse words)

Teacher:Teacher interrupts the rhyme with 'Spitballs!' - perfect comedic timing

Bart · Teacher:I'm using your unfinished novel (for spitballs)

Bart · Milhouse:Bart claims he's bleeding but has no cut - turns out it's from a loose tooth

Bart · Milhouse:The tooth fairy pays triple for the last baby tooth / Then let's hurry up and rip it out of my head

Chalmers · Skinner:Skinner offering his Merkur car filled with Burger King cups and wrappers as replacement

Chalmers:Potato masher's stuck in the small spoon slot. What kind of madman would do that?

Bart:God, please give your daughter the Tooth Fairy the strength to carry my cash and the integrity not to dip her wand in the till

Bart:The Tooth Fairy's made a donation in my name to the United Way?! That gossamer witch!

Homer · Bart:In the right light, you're starting to get your own muzzle / I thought it was chocolate milk

Nelson:I knew I was an adult the day the judge said, 'We're trying you as an adult.'

Bart:Action figure suddenly offering disability insurance

Bart:Good-bye Spirogram, Sketch-N-Etch, Ravenous Ravenous Rhinos, Duopoly, Parchoosey, Humor Putty and Sock 'Em Knock 'Em Cyborgs

Bart:Bart singing 'Dust in the Wind' during his toy funeral

Bart:Bart reciting Robert Frost poem 'Nothing Gold Can Stay' at toy funeral

Sea Captain:Sea Captain wanting a friend who isn't a work friend but being unable to tell if people are flattering him because he's a captain

Bart:Or I could write something that's not gay

Marge:Well, I like T-shirts with a nice joke. Like, 'Support Our Troops.'

Homer:As if I would ever want to stop truckin'

Homer:It would cover my boy boobs nicely

Homer:Homer singing 'I'm Too Sexy' while wanting a T-shirt to cover his body issues

Bart:My attitude isn't for sale. What am I saying? Of course it is.

Ned Flanders:Let's see. 'Get bent.' Well, the only thing that could mean is 'Kneel down and pray.'

Customer · Bart:Do you have a T-shirt with Calvin peeing on Hobbes? / Sorry. / Well, what do you got him peeing on?

Bart:I can't afford to pay protection to you and Nelson

Lou · Chief Wiggum:Extra-extra-extra extra-extra... ...extra-extra large? / Here you go, Chief. 'Proud Nubian Princess.' / Score!

Insurance Salesman:'And as an adult, you'll be needing comprehensive insurance'

Buyer:It works. If blue is the color for 'unimpressed.'

Krusty:And we pass the slavings on to you

Krusty:Itchy, Scratchy, Poochy, Austin Powers Itchy, Itchy Poochy, Scratchbob Itchpants, Confederate Itchy, and Osama Bin Scratchy

Goose Gladwell:Bad car. Apologize to the poor little boy.

Goose Gladwell:This shirt is humorlarious

Goose Gladwell:'20 stores in 30 states'

Homer:Nothing makes parents happier than when an eccentric single man takes an interest in their child

Marge:What a delightful sprite!

Employee · Mr. Burns:Don't wake me. I'm working / Bolshevism! Sheer Bolshevism!

Mr. Burns:Remove all the fillings you got under our dental plan

Homer:Assuming my health does not deteriorate... as I age

Mr. Burns:I say when it's Christmas

Lenny:Actually, that stopped after you left, Homer.

Homer:I broke some bathroom fixtures

Homer:I don't have an inside voice!

Abe:All the good graves are taken

Homer:Okay, you be the girl and I'll be the car

Homer · Marge:Screw the market, we're going to Mexico! / It's El Flanderino. Run him down! / I can't run; I'm wearing flip flops!

Homer · Malibu Stacy:'It's El Flanderino. Run him down!' / 'I can't run; I'm wearing flip flops!'

Homer · Lisa:You and science go together like Lenny and Carl. The science is Carl.

Martin · CHUM robot:Childlike Humanoid Urban Muchacho -- Or... CHUM! / Don't hold my hand. It's creepy.

Homer:Sweetie, that's orphan talk

Homer:Korea did it, and look at the quality of their animation

Homer:It certainly answered a lot of my questions about wang enhancement

Homer:No. I will never tire of the bar scene.

Comic Book Guy:Just one. It takes a Marine honor guard to fold it.

Goose Gladwell:In fact, thanks to my team of loopy lawyers... I never have to give you another penny

Goose Gladwell:The things I saw there are what made me crazy!

Homer:including that guy who sells those Blu-Blocker sunglasses people sometimes wear

Rapping toilet seat:Yo, yo, yo, keep it on a low flow

Jimbo:Hey, idiot, you're fat, and your mom is naked on the Internet. You also smell.

Bart:You've given me a lot to think about