Saturdays Of Thunder

D'oh!

I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such TV series as... Buck Henderson, Union Buster... and Troy and Company's Summertime Smile Factory

Hi, everybody. Hi, Dr. Nick.

With one application of Spiffy... you'll think the body's still warm

With one application of Spiffy... you'll think the body's still warm.

Quoth the raven-- What a shine!

If stuff starts flying just turn your head. Check.

Patty, Thelma, what a pleasant surprise!

What do you know. He's wearing pants. I owe you lunch.

Ugly. / Ugly. Butch.

Expiration date, June 1989... uh, 2012, yeah.

Shh! They'll hear you.

You can't weld with such a little flame. Stupid kid.

I got me a future. I'm two days away from retirement. My daughter's graduating from college. Little Suzie is growing up.

Mendoza!

You want to rent it, sir? Why? I just saw the best part.

Just grab something. All these movies are great.

Maybe you should try it on Homer. He'll fail it.

I don't always keep my cool like the Fonz... but my love for my kids has given me plenty of happy days.

Oh, great. You made me miss Joe Theisman.

Well, there's the fat kid with the thing. The little wiener who's always got his hands in his pockets.

Hank Jones.

Steve McQueen. That's your hero.

He's always chewing on that phone cord. He hasn't done that since he was two.

D'oh! That's a hobby.

You're also fat. / I'm also fat!

Oh, my God. I don't know jack about my boy. I'm a bad father. You're also fat. I'm also fat!

Good Lord! A zero? Lana, cancel my 1:00.

As three-time derby champ Ronnie Beck says... 'Poorly guarded construction sites are a gold mine.'

Bart, I think they're finally hauling your dad away. Maybe it's for the best.

If he's as smart as he is funny, I'm sold.

That's easy for you to say... you preachy, egg-headed institute guy.

That back and forther you witnessed didn't happen overnight. It took years of effort.

What boy? Your son.

Dear God! Not again!

I built a lot of things around the house-- the spice rack... the bird feeder... the Gymboree.

What was that? Ah, who cares?

Cosby's first law of intergenerational perversity. No matter what you tell your child to do... he will always do the opposite.

That sounds too complicated. Okay, don't use reverse psychology. All right, I will.

Thank you, Bill Cosby. You've saved the Simpsons.

that Bart is a little miracle-- his winning smile, his button nose, his fat little stomach...

He reminds me of me before the weight of the world crushed my spirit.

He's my son, and if he doesn't wanna wear one, you can't make him.

Ay, caramba!

Whoa, talk about your pieces of crap.

Careful, boys. It took me months to steal that bumper.

It took me months to steal that bumper.

Help! Help! What was that? You didn't hear nothing!

As three-time soap box derby champion Ronnie Beck says... 'Gravity is my copilot.'

Deploy, damn you! Deploy!

Save your palliative clichés for the next poor sap, Doctor.

That racer transformed me into the twisted creature... you see before you.

It's slow, it's ugly, it handles like a shopping cart.

When did I teach you that? I picked it up somewhere.

I'll just sit here in Li'l Lightnin' which the Simpsons built... and remember that for one brief shining moment... I had a son.

Maybe I'm being a little anal but barefoot season's coming up... and there's a world of rusty nails out there.

This is how you get your kicks, isn't it, Lisa?

You! Home wrecker!

But I guess I was wrong. You are a bad father.

Shut up, Flanders. Flanders! / When should a boy start dating? / There are two schools of thought on the subject-- / Great! Thanks!

I'll curse that name till the day I die! Flanders! Flanders.

What did I just tell you? Kill spectators.

Check out the rack on the blond in the fourth row.

The better man won, Simpson. You can really drive.

Ha-ha, ha-ha-ha. Loser! Na-na, na-na-na

You know, there is such a thing as being a bad winner.

Mom, I never won before. I may never win again. Na-na, na-na-na