Gone Maggie Gone

Kent Brockman:A solar eclipse is like a woman breast-feeding in a restaurant. It's free, it's beautiful, but under no circumstances should you look at it.

Kent Brockman:This was supposed to be pre-made. Fine, I'll do it myself. Where is the end of the friggin' tape? Forget it! We'll do it next week! The eclipse is today. There's an eclipse when I say there's an eclipse!

Bart:Hit the road, you big load!

Marge:There'll be another one in North Yemen in 2027.

Comic Book Guy:I finally feel like part of a family.

Marge:Just one little peek. It's beautiful.

Homer:Don't worry, honey. I'll be your seeing-eye Homer. We're in some kind of doctor room, bunch of stuff on the walls. It's kinda hard to describe. I'm gonna take my break now.

Dr. Hibbert:Any stress could increase the blood pressure in Marge's eyeballs, leading to what we call Tex Avery Syndrome.

Homer:Wolves are taking all our women!

Marge:You guys have treated me like a princess! Everyday's been like the first ten minutes of Mother's Day.

Homer:Is there any other way to enter a kitchen?

Homer:Rats in the kitchen! Just like that delightful movie I taped in the theatre.

Bart:He's controlling me with my hair! Using me to cook a delicious sole meunière with a celery root purée, And carrots vichy.

Homer:This is good. Good, but not great.

Apu:Here you go. This'll kill those dirty rats, and the clean ones, too.

Apu:What is it with kids and candy-colored poison, huh?

Homer:Not in front of the poison man.

Homer:Why did I bring the baby and the dog to the poison store?

Homer:I can't leave the baby alone with the poison, and I can't leave the dog alone with the baby.

Homer:Can't someone help me with this puzzle?

Homer:Professor Frink, help me figure this out!

Homer:Great time to nap, Einstein!

Homer:Were you listening at all?

Old Man:Sir, I'd be obliged to you if you'd help me puzzle out my fox, duck and corn situation.

Old Man:Well, the puzzle done puzzled itself out.

Homer:And I'll be watching you too in case God's busy making tornadoes or not existing.

Homer:Catholics!

Homer:'Cos she was fighting my dog, and stealing my poison.

Homer:Now give her back so I can take her home to my rat-infested house!

Sister · Homer:I'm married to Jesus! Yeah, right. And I'm married to Wonder Woman!

Lisa:Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Homer:There is no way Homer Simpson's gonna put on a dress, and act like a nun.

Homer:Told you there was no way I would do it. Are you sure you don't want me to do it? 'Cos I can do it. I got the outfit right here.

Homer:Hello. I'm a poor little sinner who's lost her way. May I join your order?

Mother Superior:Not like Sister Marilyn.

Nuns:If you're happy and you know it That's a sin

Mother Superior:Well next week's nine months after the prom. They'll be stacked up to the ceiling.

Homer:Well, more of a Curious George.

Mother Superior:Well, little monkey, it's time for you to spend some time with the man in the yellow hat.

Sister:Because I'm sick of that Mother Superior. Whenever we play football, she has to be quarterback.

Sister:And before you decide to become a nun, consider this: I am only 23!

Lisa:That's Latin! Deum is God. And of course quaerite means seek.

Marge:Mommy's little baby is getting big and chubby. Who's a chubby baby?

Bart · Santa's Little Helper:Cool it, she's getting suspicious. You cool it! I'm hungry!

Lisa:What if I read every other word? 'One more time. Your hopeless. Try again. Numb skull!'

Lisa:That's not very nice. I will try again, but not because the wall told me to.

Martin:No. I'm not a smart nerd. I'm just a weak nerd.

Comic Book Guy:Because we do our sleuthing in Mother's Nissan Quest minivan.

Comic Book Guy:staged a phoney War of Independence to cover their search for the gem.

Comic Book Guy:Four of which I own.

Mr. Burns:Well, well. If it isn't the Tardy Boys and Nancy Clueless.

Mr. Burns:That's my eyeball on the dollar bill. That's also my pyramid.

Smithers:I keep telling you I'm not an albino! I just use a lot of sun block.

Mr. Burns:Then why do I give you all the albino holidays off?

Principal Skinner:Superman, I have believed in you for years. If you can hear me now, please come help me dig this giant grave.

Homer:So, the gem is inside you?

Lisa · Burns:Does kissing Milhouse count? No.

Lisa:How brilliant of God to remove my scepticism by making me his chosen one!

Mr. Burns:I don't really want you people inside, but you could dangle from the skids.

Lisa:Oh, fine, fine. Finish your song. I can be patient. After all, I am the gem child.

Mother Superior:Oh, please. How many sentences start with the word regally?

Lisa:This one?

Mother Superior:It's really Maggie, Sherlock.

Lisa:You know, I have to point out that this only makes sense if I get the wrong answer first.

Unknown:Just set it to 'massage'.

Unknown character:Just set it to 'massage'.

Marge:Again.

Ralph:Step aside, ladies. I'm bringing the peace.

Ralph:I'm so staying up pass my bedtime.