The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer

Otto · Lisa:Otto, Bart won't give me a seat. / You know I can deal with your problem or I can rock out. But I cannot do both.

Otto:Fu-u-u-u... nk.

Otto:What am I hearing now? Nature? The ultimate bring-down. Why... was I... born?!

Bart:Old McDonald had a fart Fart, fart, fart, fart, fart

Otto:That's not a song. Real songs are about deals with the devil, far-off lands, and where you'd find smoke in relation to water.

Martin:One of my bus mates has purloined my French horn.

Kearney:Why can't you talk like a dude?

Bart · Kearney:Oh, knock it off, Kearney. Why are you still in this school anyway? We were in third grade together.

Kearney:Stupid school doesn't know how to teach me.

Otto:Oh, wow, this is about 90% less funny than you think it is.

Otto:Am I on drugs? / Yes, you are, but that really is Metallica.

Otto:Now if you'll excuse me, I'm late for a gumdrop parade on Foo-foo Island.

Otto:Oh, yeah, Springfield Arena, 1997, Row XX, Seat 64.

Metallica member:Look at me, I'm Otto. I'm a hundred years old, and I drive a school bus.

Other driver:I used to sleep with Lars' grandmother.

Metallica:Never listen to our music again.

Otto:Bye-bye, take care, watch your step, eat my shorts, have a good one.

Otto:Oh, and I think I ran over a moose.

Otto:Can't... talk... now. I'm spanking a child.

Principal Skinner:And your gun.

Bart:Let me drive. I go through yellow lights.

Marge:One more crack out of you, young man, and I'm showing everyone your baby pictures.

Ralph:I brought my own car seat. Look.

Ralph:Hey, Lisa, my safety bar matches your eyes.

Nelson:Whoa. 'Squirrels don't like rocks.'

Lisa:Ew, it's Michael. That weird kid who never says anything.

Kearney · Michael:Hey, dork, you're sittin' on my shadow. / Sorry. / What, you're too good to sit on my shadow?

Homer:Whoa. Your mother must dance at the nicest strip club in town.

Fat Tony:Here is your book, and never forget: the divisor goes into the dividend.

Fat Tony:There is no Mafia. Columbus Day is better than Christmas.

Ralph:My daddy had to potty in a bag.

Groundskeeper Willie:Ah, look at all this puke! Why did I come in on my day off?

Music teacher:I... from now on you're not third clarinet, you're first everything!

Music teacher:Now if you excuse me, I'm brewing tea and I have to go jiggle my bags!

Michael:There's a triple-A battery in my macaroni and cheese!

Lunch Lady Doris:It counts as a vegetable.

Lisa · Michael:It's delicious! / Are you just saying that 'cause you're afraid of my dad? / No, it's great! Ooh! Except for the bee!

Fat Tony:We are going for a ride. By which I mean the carpool. Perhaps we will get yogurt.

Fat Tony:Now who wants to sleep with the fishes? Because I brought this Finding Nemo bedspread.

Milhouse · Fat Tony:'Garfield' or 'Love Is?' / Uh, I prefer the cat. He hates Mondays. We can all relate.

Fat Tony:Sadly, my Anna Maria was whacked by natural causes.

Marge:Ooh, flowers every week! I wish I was dead.

Fat Tony:Actually, you can really keep costs down when you don't pay for materials or labor... or permits... or land.

Homer:Your paintings have brush marks. And your statues have wieners!

Bart · Homer · Marge:He's talkin' like the guy in Fat Albert. / Howba areba youba? / Homer! / Whyba youba doba thatba?

Legs:I thought you meant 'hot-sync' it. You know how it is with us-- everything means kill.

Calabresi:We meant no disrespect, Fat Tony. We were simply trying to kill you.

Michael:I made soufflés!

Calabresi:I've tried to make those, but they always end up as brownies.

Fat Tony:My God, this is like a lap dance for my taste buds!

Fat Tony:The flavor just drove my sweet tooth to a vacant lot and whacked it.

Calabresi:Hey, look what we got here. It's Chef Boy-ar-gay!

Michael:Well, gazpacho is served cold. So take that.

Calabresi:Do they small down big ones or do they make 'em different?

Legs:With Fat Tony doing the morphine mambo, the Calabresis are gonna try to put him down for a dirt nap.

Marge · Homer:Homer, our house is on fire! Help me save the children! / Sorry, Marge, can't hear you!

Fat Tony:You are a hybrid: half idiot, half moron.

Homer:Everything! And I learned it all from the greatest gangster film ever: Shark Tale.

Homer:I hurt my fist and my palm.

Krusty:Could I just pay you $5 to keep out Hardee's?

Krusty:Ow! My schnoz! My punim! My pupik! My genechtagazoink!

Homer:Uh, it-it fell off a truck. Uh, you know, a truck-truck.

Homer:Eh, it fell off a truck-truck truck.

Ned Flanders:Hi-diddily-ho, mob-areenos!

Bart:Dad, you want I should plug him in the ankle?

Homer:You monster! Just cut his Achilles tendon with this knife.

Calabresi:Yeah. You know, they've still got to eat right and exercise. Walk the dog once in a while. He's a furry little fitness machine.

Bart:Thanks, but I'm going into bootleg DVDs.

Homer:Hey, if I poisoned them, would I be doing this?

Michael:Don't ever ask me out my business, Lisa.