Homer and Marge recall the story of their first kiss at a summer camp when they were children—an event which was not all happy, as Homer (unwillingly) betrayed Marge by standing her up on their second date.
WAR
38
Wins Above Replacement
“The Way We Werent” ranks #391 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 75.5 — Great. The episode packs 52 scored jokes at 2.8 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: It felt like a cluster bomb wiping out a graveyard full of zombies.
Homer Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Homer: You never had a chance to become my urine.
Homer Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Young Homer: But every time you smash a nerd with it, think of me.
Marge: And if I'd known it was you, I never would have married you.
Marge Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm Lenny · Moe: Moe's not really a counselor. His parents dropped him off here, like, two years ago and they never came back for him. I sleep under upside-down canoes.
Lenny Moe Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 52 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Bart · Milhouse · Martin: Because I'm 'it.' Now whoever finishes first gets lemonade. BOTH: Yay! For me.
Girl · Milhouse · Martin: You guys need your cootie shots. (BOTH CRYING OUT IN PAIN) Well, I hate this job, but I love the health plan.
Girl · Bart: We'll find some other way to entertain our boy-crazy cousin who thinks you're cute. Oh, I wouldn't mind pushing that in the mud.
Bart: I hope you like the taste of ringworm medicine.
Bart Dark/Subversive Absurdist Homer: You never had a chance to become my urine.
Homer Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Marge: I got the idea from a now discredited book on raising children.
Marge Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Marge: Homer, I'll bet when you were 10, you were stealing beers, kissing girls, and tipping dinosaurs.
Homer: It was years ago when I was 10, back in the '60s or '50s. Or maybe it was the early '70s.
Homer Character Comedy Running Gag Homer · Abe: Underprivileged? You pretended we were poor just to get me into camp? Uh, yeah, pretended.
Homer · Carl: Wow, a Negro. We prefer the term 'black.' So cool.
Lenny · Moe: Moe's not really a counselor. His parents dropped him off here, like, two years ago and they never came back for him. I sleep under upside-down canoes.
Lenny Moe Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Camp Director: We got no water, no heat. We catch our own breakfast. Twelve kids died at our camp. We need the money to pay lawyers.
Camp Director: Oh, here's one! It's called 'Stay out of my way.' Idiot.
Homer: A girl with teeth! Me like.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer: That's 'cause I've eaten 16 pieces of pie.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer: Oh, a switchblade! I see the switch, but where's the blade? D'oh! Found it.
Homer Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Moe: Patches, scars, stumps. Everything but zits.
Moe Escalation Dark/Subversive Moe: I guess it's row versus wade. And it's my right to choose!
Moe Wordplay/Pun Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Sea Captain: Only PG. Nothing R. Yarrr.
Homer: Until I met your mother, who made that girl look like a Godzilla made of garbage!
Homer Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Marge: And if I'd known it was you, I never would have married you.
Marge Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm Bart Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Homer · Bart: That's still one more than you. I've kissed three girls. (SOBBING) I'm so lame!
Etiquette Teacher: You make Jackie O look like a splay-legged milk-horse.
Etiquette Teacher: I'd be proud if you grew up to be my husband's mistress.
Etiquette Teacher: I used to walk like this all the time until my tendons snapped. They heard it in Shelbyville.
Homer: I'm Elvis! Elvis Jagger. Elvis Jagger Abdul-Jabbar.
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Girls' Camp Instructor: One day as a straight-haired brunette. I feel so bad for you.
Marge · Bart: That's what Leslie Uggams does! BART: Leslie who? MARGE: Uggams!
Lisa · Sea Captain: We've heard the same story two times now. Whose side are we gonna hear next? The Sea Captain's?
Marge: I like Bobby Goldsboro, Gilbert O'Sullivan, Terry Jacks, Parliament, but not Funkadelic.
Marge Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Young Marge: Is he making chicken noises?
Homer: It felt like a cluster bomb wiping out a graveyard full of zombies.
Homer Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Homer: It was as satisfying as a million Hallmark cards with all the right sized envelopes.
Homer Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart · Lisa: Face it, Lise. Men are dogs. The worse we treat you, the more you want us. That's not what dogs do. (LAUGHING) You said 'dog doo!'
Homer · Marge: But every time you smash a nerd with it, think of me. I will.
Young Homer: But every time you smash a nerd with it, think of me.
Fat Camp Counselor: Because the only way out is up a gentle slope.
Fat Camp Counselor: Your boy bosoms tell a different tale.
Homer: Hey, he didn't say nothing about this poison oak! Sweet, sweet poison.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Fat Camp Director: Yeah, you've got a date with a skinless chicken breast.
Moe: Hey, don't you try and prank me with a fake name! I will out your intestines and use them to make a lanyard!
Moe Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Girl Campers: We know everything about boys except what they look like below the waist. I have some theories based on a G.I. Joe I bought.
Camp Girl · Another Girl: We know everything about boys except what they look like below the waist. I have some theories based on a G.I. Joe I bought.
Camp Girl: Because that's what I've been telling everybody. You're also pregnant.
Fat Camp Staff: We've got an emergency here. We need 10 cc's pronto. And by cc's, I mean cupcakes. MAN: I know what you mean, Bill. I've worked here longer than you.
Sea Captain: I can't believe I went five minutes without one of these dream sticks.
Bart: If they fight in front of us, we might get new bikes.
Bart Character Comedy Observational Homer: There was the gun I hid from you. The time I sued the church. Ruining Lisa's wedding in the future. Remember that?
Homer Escalation Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Homer: Someday I'll write you back, Osama.
Homer Dark/Subversive Absurdist Homer: I kept it right next to my IBM stocking.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Marge: As a reminder of the hurtful things men can do.
Marge Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Top Episodes — The Simpsons
