After receiving an injection from Dr. Hibbert, Bart becomes temporarily deaf, which makes him impervious to being bullied, until he accidentally moons the American flag during a donkey basketball game, prompting everyone in town to accuse the Simpsons of being unpatriotic under the new "Government Knows Best" Act.
WAR
43.9
Wins Above Replacement
“Bart Mangled Banner” ranks #287 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 78.1 — Elite. The episode packs 75 scored jokes at 4.1 per minute, averaging 6.6 on craft and 6.5 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Principal Skinner: Oh, sure, marge-- just like 'blind bart,' 'wheelchair bart,' 'pregnant bart,' and my personal favorite, 'railroad-spike- through-head bart.'
Homer Deadpan/Understatement Absurdist ★ Rewatch Apu: Poonam and uma are fighting! No, no. Those are their pre-witch hunt names. Their new names are freedom, lincoln, condoleeza, coke, pepsi, manifest destiny, apple pie and superman. And together, we're the macgillicuddys.
Apu Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer: Hey, how ya doing, homer? Oh, not too bad. How about you? Oh, I'm fine. Your wife was great in bed last night. You keep your hands off my wife! Oh, yeah? Well, I give her what she needs.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Principal Skinner: Your child's behavior appalls me, not just as a principal, but as a veteran of america's only losing war. To date.
All Jokes — 75 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Lisa · Bart · Homer: Too wonderful. You're right; this is it. They're selling us to be crash test dummies! Oh, please let it be volvo.
Doctor/Nurse: it's shot day! welcome to hell... man avenue medical plaza.
Doctor · Bart: children, you should be grateful you live in a country where childhood diseases have been practically... Karate!
Doctor: That hobo skeleton is not a toy!
Doctor Visual Gag Absurdist ★ Rewatch Bart: Only babies and ex-junkies are afraid of needles. Stick me, chuckles!
Bart Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Doctor: Don't forget maggie! I got her when your heads were turned. Got her good!
Doctor Dark/Subversive Misdirection Bart: No, thanks. I already helped myself.
Bart Visual Gag Character Comedy Bart: see you later, inoculator!
Bart Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Doctor · Darlene: he can run, but nobody escapes the needle. Darlene, cancel all my appointments. But I need that kidney now.
Bart: black-on-black violence must end. That was for dr. King.
Bart Absurdist Character Comedy Bart: Don't feel bad, doc. I won't even let my mom clip my toenails.
Bart Character Comedy Observational Moe · Dr. Hibbert: Okay, well, I really enjoyed being you, dr. Hibbert. Oh, by the way, you're not welcome in the library no more.
Dr. Hibbert: I'm afraid the inoculation has swollen his ear holes shut.
Dr. Hibbert: If it doesn't, call me in the bahamas.
Dr. Hibbert: That was a malpractice waiver, fool!
Bullies: Give your wallet, kid! We're gonna identity theft your ass!
Bullies: he's just standing his ground! He knows that deep down, all bullies are cowards! We're undone!
Bullies Misdirection Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Willie: Willie's been deaf since the boiler explosion of '88. But I taught myself to read lips.
Willie Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Willie: What'd you say about me mother?! For your information, her feet stink 'cause she works in manure all day!
Willie Character Comedy Escalation Willie: But it's still the best darn starbucks in glasgow!
Homer · Lisa: Bart, pass the ketchup. Bart, pass the ketchup! Dad, he's deaf. Oh, sorry, right. Bart, pass the corn. Bart, pass the corn!
Homer: Now I've heard everything. Unlike you!
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Marge: everybody, remember that for when his hearing comes back.
Marge Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Announcer: I'm sure that 'mule' enjoy it.
Announcer: man, tough crowd.
Bart: hey, donkey, want a carrot? Psyche!
Bart Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Ned Flanders: good lord! Bart's mooning the flag! Don't look, buttermilk.
Cletus: how dare he?! That's the flag my grandpappy rebelled against!
Cletus Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Biker/Redneck: When you insult the flag, you insult my flag tattoo!
Principal Skinner: Your child's behavior appalls me, not just as a principal, but as a veteran of america's only losing war. To date.
Principal Skinner: Oh, sure, marge-- just like 'blind bart,' 'wheelchair bart,' 'pregnant bart,' and my personal favorite, 'railroad-spike- through-head bart.'
Homer Deadpan/Understatement Absurdist ★ Rewatch Nelson: Cram it, iraqi! Why'd you dis the flag? It partied on the moon!
Nelson Absurdist Character Comedy Bullies: Weren't we afraid of him just a few days ago? We're complex!
Bullies Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Callback Kent Brockman: I want you to overhype this story so much, it makes the new york post look like the new york times. Or the new york times look like the new york post. I forget which one the good one is.
Apu: I did not come to this country illegally to see it mocked.
Apu Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Reporter: There's the boy who bared his bottom to old glory. And the family that applauds his every moonery.
Reporter: They hate our country, but they love our soapy water!
Chuck E. Cheese employee · Homer: Hey, benedict arnold, our cups don't want your colorful balls. No one calls me unpatriotic.
Homer: Hey, how ya doing, homer? Oh, not too bad. How about you? Oh, I'm fine. Your wife was great in bed last night. You keep your hands off my wife! Oh, yeah? Well, I give her what she needs.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Moe · Customer: This bar's only for real americans. And people on permanent visas, like me. What? What are you all looking at? I'm dutch.
Barney: I'm gonna go listen to the president's weekly radio address. And not the rebuttal! Good-bye, homer. I can't get drunk and vomit next to a guy I don't respect.
Barney Character Comedy Escalation Homer: Son, I've learned one thing in this life: To stay out of trouble, just say nothing. Don't rock the boat. Don't even get in the boat. Just buy some ice cream and walk around the pier. But don't go in the bathrooms, they're filthy.
Homer Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Homer · Bart: Talk about boats! Then when he asks you if you hate this country, you just start crying and pretend you don't. But I don't hate this country. There, there, save your lies for the american public.
Nash Castor: Bart simpson, what do you hate most about this country? Is it the freedom?
Nash Castor: all right, so if I hear you correctly, you're saying america is better than jesus. Do you agree?
Marge: If by 'us', you mean loudmouthed talk show hosts-- which everyone seems to be in this country-- then yes, I do hate americans!
Nash Castor: There you have it-- springfield hates america. Now, coming up after this commercial, I will be talking even louder. Don't miss it!
President/Official: I declare today, december 25, 'we hate springfield day.'
Official: Look what happened to Hitler City, North Carolina. If they hadn't changed their name to Charlotte, they'd be sunk.
Real Estate Agent · Luigi: $17.76?! I can't afford to sell a westside home for that! But what a fantastical year for pizza by the slice!
Driver: Come on, kid, go! You got the red!
Driver Visual Gag Escalation Callback Apu: Oh I don't think so. It is a heartfelt expression of my true desire to protect my mahogany noggin.
Apu Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Apu: Poonam and uma are fighting! No, no. Those are their pre-witch hunt names. Their new names are freedom, lincoln, condoleeza, coke, pepsi, manifest destiny, apple pie and superman. And together, we're the macgillicuddys.
Apu Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Lisa · Congregation: I'd like to say something about the current climate of repression and fear. Oh, put a fork in it! Sit down, saddam!
Lisa: 'Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press.' That's from the first amendment to the constitution.
Government Agent: Simpsons, you're under arrest for the violation of the government knows best act.
Elmo: Elmo go to wrong fund-raiser.
Elmo Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Bill Clinton: I called the republican tax cuts unwise. And I stand by it. They're unwise!
Prisoner · Guard: I'm here because I said imported wines are better than napa valley. Yeah? Well, why don't you take a nap-a?
Prisoner · Homer: my only crime was driving a truck full of explosives in from canada. I don't know why they put the real ones in with the joke ones.
U.S. Constitution · Bill of Rights: I wish I could say the same for my crazy cousin, bill o' rights. What did I do? What did I do?
Homer: I don't know whether it's the lack of sleep, the sodium pentathol, or that it's the only cartoon I've seen in two months, but this is what I believe in now.
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Prisoner: I'm the last registered democrat. Tax and spend! Tax and spend!
Prisoner: I don't want to be in any stupid talent show. Not without my tennessee walking horses.
Homer: now, people have accused this family of not loving our country, but you can't spell 'U.S.A.' Without us... eh?
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Simpsons: americans are brave and loyal so come on, jerks, give us your oil
Lisa · Homer: dad, why are you still singing that stupid song? Because if they catch us, we may have to do it again. And this time, I want it tight.
Lisa Homer Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Homer: What genius put a prison on the middle of an island?
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Observational Guards: Hold your fire. That walrus will eat them. - No, that's the dad. But he's eating a seal.
Guards Visual Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Swim toward san francisco! I'm not made of money! We'll swim to oakland.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Lisa: I don't want to end up like elmo, hanging himself in prison.
Lisa Dark/Subversive Callback ★ Rewatch Callback French Captain: Come to France and we shall mock the country that saved us twice from the germans. Eh, you wait till you see her up close, then you tell me.
Marge: The united states has its grandeur and its follies, but, mostly, it's the place where all our stuff is.
Marge Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Immigration Officer · Homer: Name? - Simpson. From now on,you're the simps! Mm, that'll save time.
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