Fraudcast News

Kent Brockman:Why did they cancel Futurama?

Teen girl:You crushed my boyfriend! You better be good at making out!

Bart:What's the big deal about a rock that looks like a dude? I've got a dad that looks like a monkey.

Homer:Per our agreement!

Mr. Burns:Knock-kneed home renters. Can't we thin this herd with some smallpox-infected blankets?

Random townsperson:We're already immune, you jerk!

Homer:There's a lot you don't know about me, Marge. A lot that would shock you.

Announcer:Thank you, Blood and Tears. Sorry to hear about Sweat.

Mr. Burns:Now, to do something I've never done before. Help out an old man.

Homer:Here's a poem. Run fast or lose your ass!

Smithers:And tonight was the night I was gonna show him my tattoo.

Lisa:I'd be a publisher, just like Katharine Graham! Or that lady who wheels Larry Flynt around.

Mr. Burns:That stays in.

Mr. Burns:Because of my svelte physique, I was able to fit in a narrow air pocket.

Mr. Burns:Thankfully, a mother mole nursed me as her own until I was strong enough to continue.

Mr. Burns:I have been 89 for a while now.

Kent Brockman:Thank you, Geezer Rock, for doing what none of us had the courage to do, smush Mr. Burns.

Mr. Burns:This town cared more for a soulless piece of granite than for me.

Mr. Burns:Don't be so needy!

Smithers · Mr. Burns:You eliminated that program in the '30s, sir. They were getting too grabby!

Mr. Burns:Bring me a checkbook and a mother mole!

Homer:Man driving erratically throws papers out window!

Krusty:I haven't cried like this since the third Mr. Teeny died.

Krusty:You couldn't hold a candle to him. Neither could you!

Lisa:Perfect. You're our TV critic.

Lisa · Nelson:I don't know. Making nerds cry? Perfect. You're our TV critic.

Lisa · Ralph:I want to be a fire truck. How about a feature columnist? Yeah, I'm a feature columnist!

Barney:Burns is alive? Then whose skull am I drinking beer out of?

Barney · Others:Whose grave? Uh, the unknown soldier? Carry on.

Mr. Burns · TV station owner:Want to split an ice cream sundae? Done and done!

Bart · Lisa:Snot a problem, chief. Don't call me chief. Sure thing, jerk. Chief is fine.

Bill and Marty:No support for the naughty hotties!

Mr. Burns:Indoor plumbing. The lack of it killed my mother.

Brandine:Oh, Cletus. Tonight, you can knock me up again.

Mr. Burns:Television, jumping box, picto-cube, just crank it up!

Booberella:He's got a heart as big as my boobs!

Cartoon character:Don't end up like me. Vote Republican. God bless America. This cartoon was made in Korea.

Lisa:stinky pants.

Lisa:No! No! I won't take your blood ponies!

Lisa:I can't! My mom's not picking me up for an hour!

Mr. Burns:My God, are you always on?

Reporter:And by the way, that story I filed from Baghdad was all made up. I was actually in Basra.

Bart:the pen is mightier than the flaming bag of poop.

Mr. Burns:I can't be held responsible for what my goons were ordered to do!

Bart:That was totally worth it.

Principal Skinner:That smell takes me back.

Principal Skinner:It wasn't quite the same.

Mr. Burns:My league! My beautiful league! All dead.

Mr. Burns:Have some congratulatory drugs.

Mr. Burns:Have some congratulatory drugs.

Mr. Burns:Don't you love it when nerds don't know they're nerds?

Mr. Burns:Hello, Beefcake Charlie.

Homer:Put on a pot of coffee, drink it and start making burgers!

Homer:except still a dude!

Groundskeeper Willie:I reviewed the new tractors. They're all shite!

Lisa:now there's a thousand freaks xeroxing their worthless opinions.

Moe:Well, blow me down. I'm a Selma.

Lisa:Unless of course you're Rupert Murdoch. He is one beautiful man.