Moe is flying high after venture capitalists take a shine to his homemade whiskey, while Grampa, after injuring himself babysitting Bart, decides he'd rather be looked after by his grandson than be at the nursing home. Also, Lisa voices her displeasure at a hologram of music legend Bleeding Gums Murphy, and Sonny Rollins (as himself) shows up to ask her to stop all that jazz about boycotting a record label.
WAR
45.4
Wins Above Replacement
“Whiskey Business” ranks #335 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 76.9 — Great. The episode packs 55 scored jokes at 2.9 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Moe landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Hold music: ♪ Suicide is painless ♪ It brings on many changes ♪
Bart · Grampa: Well, you are the first thing I took care of that didn't die. Oh, I hear that a lot.
Bart Grampa Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Grampa: I don't want to die! I want to still be a burden!
Grampa Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Moe: I'm asking if a priest can beat a big cat in a death match in some kind of polygon. Hexa or octa? Only one way to decide: arm wrestling.
Moe Absurdist Misdirection ★ Rewatch Moe: Nah, it's a 44 long. I wear a 38 hunched.
Moe Character Comedy Observational All Jokes — 55 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: You're deleting the 2009 Oscar Red Carpet! There were some awesome dresses! And quite a few... disasters!
Homer Observational Character Comedy Homer: I can't part with a single one of my Hoarders, hands off my episodes of Episodes
Homer Wordplay/Pun Observational ★ Rewatch Homer: For every one of my cartoons that you erase, I rip up a family vacation photo. And just so you know I mean business, here's an ear!
Homer: It's not what you think! So I stayed up for the last 87 hours watching all my show
Homer Misdirection Absurdist Moe: I'm asking if a priest can beat a big cat in a death match in some kind of polygon. Hexa or octa? Only one way to decide: arm wrestling.
Moe Absurdist Misdirection ★ Rewatch Moe: Eh, who am I kidding? They don't care about me.
Moe Reaction Beat Character Comedy Moe: I'm begging you, please, please show me some love! Yeah, it's nothing like that.
Moe Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Automated system · Moe: You said, 'Business problems.' Is that correct? No! I got nothing and no one! You said, 'Face sucked off by vacuum cleaner.' Is that correct?
Automated System: Hello, you have reached the Buzz Cola Suicide Hotline. Our options have changed, so please listen carefully.
Hold music: ♪ Suicide is painless ♪ It brings on many changes ♪
Bart · Moe: Hi, I'm looking for a Mr. Ron, first name Moe. Moe Ron? Moron.
Bart Moe Setup/Punchline Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Callback Homer: I took a class where you do chest compressions to a Bee Gees song. ♪ How deep is your love? ♪
Homer Misdirection Observational Barney · Homer: Are you sure it wasn't 'Staying Alive?' Too on the nose.
Homer · Moe · Barney: Who's the president now? Some jerk. He's back!
Moe: Ah, this post-suicide afterglow gets shorter every time.
Moe Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Homer · Barney: We could write on his face when he passes out. Yeah, that's always good for a laugh.
Moe: Four guys, a chick and a noose. Just like the movies I like to watch.
Moe Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Moe: Wow, look at all them countdown clocks. Acres of rainforest left, deaths by lung cancer. It's magical.
Moe Irony/Sarcasm Observational Homer: Capital City has a twin? Moved to California to be a star, but it just turned into Glendale.
Homer Observational Misdirection Moe · Homer: Gentlemen's Whorehouse? Whoa, ho, ho! No, no, it's a Wearhouse.
Marge: They're like a wedding ring; I can't take them off anymore.
Marge Observational Character Comedy Moe: Nah, it's a 44 long. I wear a 38 hunched.
Moe Character Comedy Observational Salesman · Moe: Tent City is across the street. Tent, eh?
Marge: No tents, no barrels, no kiddie pools. Thank you, fashion police!
Marge Escalation Character Comedy Bart · Martin: You mean my sister? She's your sister? The plot thickens. Clueless little Lisa doesn't suspect a thing.
Lisa: Jellyroll Jones, Boston Cream Basie, Birthmark Billy Jackson, Grabass Walker, the Fatneck Sisters
Lisa Wordplay/Pun Absurdist Bart: Lights and magic, Lisa. You don't need anything else. But I took a bunch of stuff anyway.
Bart Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Bart · Grampa: I gave him a caramel. He should have been chewing for hours. I couldn't unwrap it!
Grampa: I don't want to die! I want to still be a burden!
Grampa Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Bart: Man, I must real love him.
Bart Reaction Beat Character Comedy Grampa: If the Wilsons' calf is birthed, Doc Miller should be available.
Grampa Character Comedy Observational Grampa: My tailbone! And it was my last good bone.
Grampa Escalation Character Comedy Moe: 'Sorry, pal'? Hey, that's common courtesy. The kind I've only seen in movies. This suit is amazing!
Moe Character Comedy Observational Moe: Dirt. Carpet. Another layer of dirt. Congoleum. Hardwood! The perfect floor for doing a happy jig.
Moe: Wow, non-losers? Huh, I never thought I'd see the day.
Moe Character Comedy Observational Moe: It'll either be the best thing you ever had or the last thing you'll ever have.
Moe Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Venture capitalist: We turn dreams into money that mostly goes to us, but you get a little.
Venture capitalist: If your feet touch the ground, we've failed.
Focus group participant: I've made a lot of mistakes, but liking this ain't one of them.
Bart: Come on, blue! Come on, pink! After a pulse-pounding race, hypertension pills win again. Call me crazy, but I can't stop betting on dementia.
Bart Dark/Subversive Absurdist Bart: Call me crazy, but I can't stop betting on dementia.
Bart Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer · Bart: Hot, oh! Cold, oh! Thank God I'm not in the shower!
Grampa: My crotch is crotchety, sitting down makes me uppity, and you call these cups pleated?!
Grampa Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Sonny Rollins hologram: From Tupac Shakur to Dwight Eisenhower, holograms have introduced some of our leading dead people to a new audience of people with money.
Princess Diana hologram: ♪ My name is Princess Di ♪ And I'm here to say ♪ When I watch a DVD, it's got to be Blu-ray. ♪
Moe: That is the most accurate picture of my face made of girl-parts that I have ever seen.
Moe Character Comedy Absurdist Venture capitalist: Enjoy your last night as a Democrat.
Moe: This building's got 98 floors! And I'm going down to P-6! P-6!
Moe Escalation Physical/Slapstick Moe: I didn't go to movies as a kid. Spent all my time at the pierogi factory. Dab the potato, fold the dough. That was my Star Wars.
Moe Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Marge: The crows weren't racist, the people who drew them were.
Marge Observational Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Grampa · Bart: I've been faking being hurt, just like I fake liking those terrible homemade Christmas gifts you give. Did she? No. Even she thought it was crap.
Bart · Grampa: Well, you are the first thing I took care of that didn't die. Oh, I hear that a lot.
Bart Grampa Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Stock exchange worker: It's Quasimodo without the pathos!
Barney: At least I don't have to train the new bartender to make what I like-- beer to the top.
Barney Character Comedy Observational Top Episodes — The Simpsons
