Homer is recruited to be a deacon by the cutting-edge new pastor. The dry cleaner mistakenly switches Marge's wedding dress for one of Krusty's costumes.
WAR
52.4
Wins Above Replacement
“Pulpit Friction” ranks #275 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 78.5 — Elite. The episode packs 69 scored jokes at 3.6 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: Only God can do that.
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer · Bart: And now, finally, I believe in something bigger than myself. / The only thing bigger than you is you tomorrow. / Why, you little... lamb.
Homer Bart Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Homer: But, as we say in the snow plow business, I'm your astronaut.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Homer: And if it's such a 'good book,' how come there's no blurbs on the back? Not even David Sedaris. And he'll flack anything.
Homer Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart · Milhouse: Gentlemen, the fort is complete and will stand forever. No way the Nazis will get in here. / Oh, I thought we were the Nazis.
All Jokes — 69 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer: Really? You want to throw something out just because it's a little old?
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Marge: Are there any two words more exciting than 'couch shopping'?
Marge Character Comedy Observational Homer: And, you know, Marge, those salespeople weren't really our friends.
Homer Deadpan/Understatement Observational Marge · Lisa · Homer: They charged a deposit. / They had to. It came from corporate. / That's right, sweetie, it always comes from corporate.
Delivery Worker: Chumps. Don't everyone know that all New York furniture is full of bedbugs?
Delivery Worker: It's forgot abouten!
Bart · Milhouse: Gentlemen, the fort is complete and will stand forever. No way the Nazis will get in here. / Oh, I thought we were the Nazis.
Marge · Homer: Ew, just hearing about them makes me itch. / Ooh, ooh. Funny how the brain does that, huh? / It's making me see them. / The brain is so stupid.
Lisa Setup/Punchline Reaction Beat Marge · Homer · Bart: Probably one of Bart's dirty friends. / Boy, why are your friends so dirty? / Don't know. Why are your friends such drunks? / Touché.
Townspeople: Bring out your bed!
Professor Frink: You see, behold the power of modified bear pheromones.
Cletus: 'Tweren't us. We don't even have beds. We sleep in washtubs and coffins.
Cletus Character Comedy Escalation Helen Lovejoy: Why won't somebody blame the children?
Lisa: You know, in the Middle Ages, people took refuge in church to escape the bubonic plague, but that made the plague spread even faster.
Lisa Observational Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Reverend Lovejoy: The Epistle of Jeremy is often cited as the most difficult book of the Apocrypha. But to me, none of the anagignoskomena are more contemplative than the book of Tobit.
Reverend Hooper: Mind if I p-p-pray through?
Unknown: God's soldier in cardigan.
Unknown Visual Gag Deadpan/Understatement Moe: Now, for chili, that's just dandy, but I brought you a little backup.
Moe Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Moe: He was the number two man from Shelbyville. Introduced angle parking. We got in six more cars.
Reverend Hooper: The posture, the haircut, the tiny feet. It's amazing they hold you up. But they do. They do.
Marge: It's like he's selling silver polish at the state fair.
Marge Observational Character Comedy Reverend Hooper: Church should make you happy, like a warm mug of soup. Why does it taste better from a mug? I don't know, but it does.
Homer: God help me, I'm paying attention.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Reverend Hooper: Hilarious film; showed a whole new side of De Niro. At first, he couldn't stand his son-in-law, but then they patch things up in a comical fashion, remember?
Reverend Hooper: Go home and watch one of the Die Hard movies on TV. They're always on, and they're always good.
Reverend Hooper: And, ladies, drop in on a neighbor's open house just to see what they did with their sun room.
Reverend Hooper: We're here every Sunday, just like Snoopy in color.
Helen Lovejoy: My wedding ring is creating a glare. Can you hold it?
Reverend Lovejoy: This is the worst 17th Sunday in Ordinary Time ever.
Bart: They give you a bag of the bedbugs they killed.
Bart Absurdist Observational Homer: Homer's oatmeal, meet your raisins.
Homer Visual Gag Character Comedy Marge: I don't want a comedian knowing my dress size.
Marge Character Comedy Observational Homer: Wait a minute! This has oats in it! / Ooh, a nose hair trimmer.
Homer Character Comedy Misdirection Krusty: Where's my mail-order bride?
Krusty Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Krusty: I threw it out the window during my post-show hissy fit.
Krusty Character Comedy Observational Reverend Lovejoy · Ned Flanders: Wooden. Plastic. / Wooden. Plastic. / Why do we always argue over coffee stirrers?
Moe: That is the wrong thing to say to a snake handler.
Moe Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Moe: Ah, this thing's just loaded with rock salt. I use it to keep the raccoons out of my fridge. And, of course, to coat the rims of my margarita glasses.
Moe Escalation Character Comedy Homer: And if it's such a 'good book,' how come there's no blurbs on the back? Not even David Sedaris. And he'll flack anything.
Homer Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer Wordplay/Pun Observational Reverend Hooper: No, not at all. It's like a sexton or a rector.
Homer: But, as we say in the snow plow business, I'm your astronaut.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Homer: Just looking for the bathroom. / This is not the bathroom! / Aw, but this paper towel feels so good.
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Lisa: Well, then, you shouldn't feel bad, because I can't imagine myself ever getting married.
Lisa Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Homer · Marge: That would save us several hundred bucks. / Tell her she's wrong!
Homer · Lisa: We let you get up early to watch the Royal Wedding. / Hey, I have a weakness for pomp.
Reverend Hooper: So, you see, what Jesus is saying really can be explained by an episode of Californication.
Moe · Homer: You bring in the lost sheep, and the others will follow. / Lost sheep. Yes! Sis boom bah!
Reverend Lovejoy: Heading for the door, pushing the handle. Left foot across the threshold. Now the right. Walking to car. Stepped in hole. Twisted ankle. Tremendous pain. Keep it elevated.
Reverend Lovejoy: Church bulletin? Church bulletin? Find out in whose loving memory this week's service is. The answer may shock you.
Homer · Bart: And now, finally, I believe in something bigger than myself. / The only thing bigger than you is you tomorrow. / Why, you little... lamb.
Homer Bart Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Homer: Only God can do that.
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Reverend Lovejoy · Old Man: Someone finally took one. / I'm mentioned in it 'cause I'm sick.
Chief Wiggum: Using something this town has never, ever seen-- good, honest police work.
Lisa · Marge: I might get married someday, even if it's only a green card marriage to keep a Chinese dissident from being deported. / We can have the reception at Wong Lee's.
Homer: My butt's place is in my pants.
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Ned Flanders: I don't think this is what Martin Presbyluther had in mind when he founded our religion by sticking his Three Suggestions under the Pope's windshield wiper.
Ned Flanders: I don't understand that on any level, but yes.
Ned · Someone: You mean he's selling hot tubs? / Yes.
Apu: Sir, can you please turn up the bubbles so we can argue in private here?
Apu Absurdist Observational Bart: The only cool thing about my dad was that he hated church. And now he's turned into a fat version of Flanders.
Bart Character Comedy Observational Bart: Ugh! One of these bedbugs is still alive. / [Bart steps on it] Much better.
Bart Physical/Slapstick Visual Gag Unknown: Ow! He took my contact! / Aah! Now I got two in one eye!
Unknown Physical/Slapstick Escalation Reverend Hooper: Who here has seen The Blind Side with Sandy Bullock? Remember when Big Mike was overwhelmed with scholarship offers? Well, that's kind of how we are with these frogs.
Unknown · Moe: To hell with your references. We're dying here. / I'm more frog than Moe.
Reverend Hooper: Um, video games, uh, Twitter. Uh, How to Train Your Dragon. Fight Club. Aah!
Unknown: His words have soothed the amphibious beasts! / His boringness saved us all.
Unknown Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Google Camera Operators · Homer: Four spheres-- two small, two gigantic. / Better zoom in. / Compliments of the deacon.
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