My Mother The Carjacker

Bart:Good grief, This candy's terrible. Circus peanuts, raisins, nicotine gum, a library card...

Lisa · Bart:You got all the good stuff! - And yet and I'm still not satisfied.

Marge:You thieving hussy!

Homer:Eat fire! Punks! What the... I'm still cold.

Kang/Kodos:Pathetic humans! They are showing a halloween episode... in November!

Kang/Kodos:Oh, still thinking about halloween. We've already got our christmas decorations up.

Death · Homer:I AM DEATH. - Death? We don't want any.

Marge · Bart:Bart! Run like a wind(pronounced as waind)! - Mom. It's wind. Well, I only read it in books.

Bart:Please don't take me! Take Milhouse! We all know there's no happy ending there.

Homer · Bart:Does this mean I'll never cancel the Jim Belushi show? - I guess so. - NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Frankie the Squealer:If I know I'll tell you, I swear! I'd better call my wife, tell her I'll be late.

Pizza Delivery Guy · Frankie the Squealer:Pizza! There's money on the counter. No tip.

Homer:Check it out! I finally found a dead guy's clothes that fits me!

Homer:I might occasionally kill out of anger, or to illustrate a point. But I am not a Grim Reaper...

Jasper · Homer:Where's doug? Never mind. I'm death now. I liked doug.

Lisa:He performs a valuable service. But it's often misunderstood. Like a vulture or the flesh eating maggot.

Homer:Pardon me. Coming through. Rest in peace. You're dead. Take a dirt nap. Meet the worms.

Homer:Ok. Who am I giving the finger to today? Marge Simpson... What was that first one again?

Homer · Patty:Hey. Wait a minute. This isn't Marge. This is her fat sister. Selma. - It's Patty. Chump!

Frink · Nobel Committee:So it's for what? My whole deal? - This is Professor John Frink, isn't it? - If I say no, do I still win?

Frink · Nobel Committee:So it's for what? My whole deal? - This is Professor John Frink, isn't it? - If I say no, do I still win?

Frink · Nobel Committee:They must've awarded me for my invention of a hammer with a screw driver on the other end. It's convenient. - Just for that? - It was a slow year.

Frink:Mother used to say we get along like positrons and anti-nutrinos. - Yeah, I'm geek.

Frink:he was one of those Heman scientists who work on the atom bomb by day and slept with Marilyn Monroe by night and sold secrets to the Russians at lunch.

Young Frink:I get seesick taking a shower! Clean, but nauseous!

Nobel Committee Member · Frink:Does shark do that? - Yes. He was testing out a new blood-based suntan lotion.

Frink · Frink's Father:Except you have no penis. - In the traditional sense. - So what am I?

Nobel Committee Member:It's a lot like the 20th, except everybody's afraid and the stock market is much lower.

Comic Book Guy:Well I did finish first in the walk for the cure, of homosexuality!

Comic Book Guy:Confucious? And Milton Berle? Boy I have been barking up the wrong tree!

Frink's Father · Woman:Nice posture. - Oh thank you! Mother always said: 'A curvy spine is the double roller coaster.'

Frink Sr.:Lost your spine, ha? You just keep finding new ways to disappoint me.

Comic Book Guy:You may keep my posterior, just please return the Jaba the Butt tattoo.

Jennifer Garner · Dr. Herschbach:You know Dr. Herschbach, our jobs are actually not that different. - I disagree.

Frink's Father:I'm here to accept the Nobel Prize for stupid.

Frink's Father:You all have such big hearts and such big brains with large juicy dripping with knowledge heads!

Audience Member:And I thought Halle Berry went nuts during her acceptance speech.

Frink's Father:Muffins are suprisingly high in calories. The pyramids were actually built by Sears.

Audience Member:This is more violent than the hip-hop worlds.

Frink's Father's Soul:I maybe a soul, but I'm hungry. Can you throw in a little mazzard. Maybe a nice pizza pit(?)

Bart:Cool! Comics from the '70s. Superman vs Patty Hearst. Evel Knievel jumps the Jackson 5. Batman and Rhoda.

Bart:Wow, she looks like a background character in a Hanna-Barbera cartoon.

Bart · Milhouse:We can do anything we want! - Lets get really far ahead on our homework!

School PA:Due to budget cuts, music class will now have a two drink minimum.

Mayor Quimby:mayors... have... been... repeatedly...humiliated. Dammit!

Mob Member:Come, let us kill them before learning of the magical secret which they possess!

Milhouse:Yeah, but you say it first.

Milhouse:Well, I couldn't be happier, I'm the second coolest kid on earth.

Bart:You know, Milhouse, I thought I'd love eating only frosting and giving the Pope wagging. But I miss being a regular kid in a real world.

Bart:You know, Milhouse, I thought I'd love eating only frosting and giving the Pope wagging. But I miss being a regular kid in a real world.

Bart · Milhouse:Boy, that took forever. - Yeah. Well, I work better in a structured environment.

Bart · Milhouse:Yeah. And I can't run too fast after 15 years of eating nothing but gummy worms. - I'm gonna quit tomorrow, I swear.

Homer · Marge:Hum, why is Bart so tall? And shaggy? - Just one of life's mysteries. Like why is my nose jammed full of army men.

Lisa:Jealous much? Why can't I tinker with the fabric of existence? Let the baby have her bottle.