A music producer selects Bart, Nelson, Milhouse and Ralph to be members of the next hit boy band, who record subliminal songs about joining the Navy.
WAR
39
Wins Above Replacement
“New Kids On The Blecch” ranks #418 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 75.0 — Great. The episode packs 65 scored jokes at 3.4 per minute, averaging 6.7 on craft and 6.5 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Kent Brockman: He's running on sheer pluck, moxie and grit. All of which he'll be tested for after the race.
Lisa · Otto: Otto, what are you doing? - I don't know. I just got an urge to join the navy.
L.T. Smash · Lisa · Barney · Moe: It's a three-pronged attack. Subliminal, liminal, and super liminal. - Super liminal? - I'll show you. Hey, you! Join the navy! - Uh, yeah, all right. - I'm in.
Homer: It doesn't mean anything. It's like 'rama lama ding dong' or 'give peace a chance.'
Homer Absurdist Dark/Subversive Marge: Oh, please. You get exhausted watching The Twilight Zone marathon.
Marge Setup/Punchline Character Comedy All Jokes — 65 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer: D'oh! [Screams] [Alarm Wailing]
Homer Physical/Slapstick ★ Rewatch Announcer: Jesse Owens humiliates Adolph Hitler by outracing his zeppelin
Announcer: Bob Beamon shatters world long jump record by jumping so far he causes vehicle crashes
Homer: [Gasps] Thirty-eight! That's roughly my age.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Marge: Oh, please. You get exhausted watching The Twilight Zone marathon.
Marge Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Homer · Marge: [Laughs] I'm a regular Billy Crystal. - You got that right.
Homer: I'll do your job for a day, and you do mine. Then we'll see who has it tougher.
Homer Setup/Punchline Irony/Sarcasm Announcer: commemorating the time Jebediah Springfield ran across six states to avoid his creditors
Homer: Anti-chafing nipple tape, check, check, and check. [Squishing Sound]
Homer Physical/Slapstick Cringe/Discomfort Race Official: now get outta here before I change my mind
Homer: [Gasps] I hit the wall! This is so painful.
Homer Physical/Slapstick Escalation Homer: Hey, I got my second wind! [Gasps] Another wall! I just- Whoo-hoo! Third wind.
Mr. Burns · Rickshaw Driver: Faster, rickshaw driver! Faster! - Ow! - Sir, the whip isn't helping. - Silence! You call yourself Chinese?
Comic Book Guy: No one can outrun The Flash! [Gasps] Curses! One of my super foes has set a trap for me.
Lisa: That's not Grampa. Dad's just dehydrated.
Lisa Setup/Punchline Visual Gag Kent Brockman: But only one will win the grand prize: A walking tour of Springfield.
Kent Brockman: He's running on sheer pluck, moxie and grit. All of which he'll be tested for after the race.
Bart: Hey, I 'winna' the race! Viva Italia! - I love-a you all. I use up all of my English.
Bart Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Runner: I got a better idea. Let's have a fun run... on his trachea.
Runner Dark/Subversive Wordplay/Pun Bart: Mob, stranger. Mob, stranger. Stranger!
L.T. Smash · Homer: Well, thank you for letting me chill in your crib. - And thank you for assuming we're hip.
Homer: Marge, it's not the singing that brings in the Sacagaweas.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Bart · Homer · Marge: My dream is to be a rock star! - And my dream is to get rid of Bart. - But- How many lives must you ruin?
Milhouse · Bart · Ralph: What up, 'G' Money? - Who's next? Ralph Wiggum? - Whee! I'm a pop sensation.
Bart: Wait. These are just guys from school. Who's next? Ralph Wiggum?
Bart Setup/Punchline Escalation L.T. Smash: You call that a flirt? I'm not melting!
Lisa · Ralph: Isn't this song a little boastful? - No one told me there was gonna be boasting.
Kids · L.T. Smash: [Off-key] # Party Posse # - Ew! - Thank you, NASA.
Bart · Skinner: Now here's a song that your Principal Skinner doesn't want us to play. - That's not true. This assembly was my idea.
Skinner · Bart: I like your brand of inoffensive pop rock. - Screw you, man! We're gonna play it anyway.
Unknown · Skinner: Orange drink? What? Do you live with your mama? - She lives with me.
Groundskeeper Willie · Principal Skinner: Orange drink? What? Do you live with your mama? / She lives with me.
Bart: I'm wearing a bathrobe and I'm not even sick.
Bart Character Comedy Observational Bart · N'Sync member: Really? You saw our B.F. N? - I can't believe I'm meeting Milhouse. Word!
Milhouse · N'Sync member: Crowd Taser? - Yeah. It's perfect for getting through the fans to your limousine.
N'Sync: Dudes, we gotta go. Our clothes are getting a little out-of-date. - To the Bandana Republic!
N'Sync Wordplay/Pun Observational Homer: It doesn't mean anything. It's like 'rama lama ding dong' or 'give peace a chance.'
Homer Absurdist Dark/Subversive Marge: None of those girls has had three kids, I can tell you that.
Lisa · Otto: Otto, what are you doing? - I don't know. I just got an urge to join the navy.
Student · Otto: Otto, what are you doing? / I don't know. I just got an urge to join the navy.
Lisa · Otto: You're being brainwashed! - Yeah, probably. 'Yvan eht nioj.'
Lisa Otto Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy L.T. Smash · Lisa: Subliminal messages? Do you have any idea how insane that sounds? - Is that a navy tattoo? - A navy tattoo? Do you have any idea how insane that sounds?
L.T. Smash: Yeah, that's right. Lieutenant L.T. Smash.
L.T. Smash: [Moans] How could you soil the good name of Star Blitzzz Promotions?
L.T. Smash: Going back to Elvis. Then there was Sgt. Pepper's, the Captain & Tennille, and the Kiss army.
L.T. Smash · Lisa · Barney · Moe: It's a three-pronged attack. Subliminal, liminal, and super liminal. - Super liminal? - I'll show you. Hey, you! Join the navy! - Uh, yeah, all right. - I'm in.
Homer · Lisa: Are you sure someone hasn't been bitten by the jealousy bug? [Chuckles] Here comes the jealousy bug! Gonna get ya! Gonna get ya! - Hey! Stop! Cut it out. You're a grown man.
Navy Officer: Good afternoon, and welcome to the U.S.S. Sea Spanker!
Bart Physical/Slapstick Reaction Beat L.T. Smash · Crowd: Groovy, dude. - Burn down the barbershops! - I hate America!
Admiral · L.T. Smash: The hippie fantasy again? / They're getting less frequent, sir.
Admiral: You won't say it's crazy when you see next week's issue of Mad magazine.
Admiral Observational Meta/Self-Referential Admiral: When this satirical bombshell hits the stands tomorrow, your band will have as much recruiting power as a wax apple.
Admiral Setup/Punchline Deadpan/Understatement Homer · Bart: So, what songs did I miss? - Dad, L.T.'s gone crazy!
Lisa: Not Mad! That's our nation's largest mental illness-themed humor magazine!
Lisa Wordplay/Pun Observational Mad Magazine Writer: Why don't we call it 'Everybody Hates Raymond?'
Lisa: We can't let L.T. Blow up Mad! Tina Brown was just starting to turn it around.
N'Sync: We heard what you said. - Yeah! Heard it old school.
Ralph · Nelson: I can't read. - I can't sing without dancing.
N'Sync member · Nelson · Ralph: Nobody pouts going into a jiggy. - Yeah. That's stupid. - I want to twirl!
Bart · Nelson: Aw, man. We could've been on the cover of Mad. - They called me 'Smelson!' Ha-ha!
Bart: Smelson. It's funny 'cause you smell.
Bart Setup/Punchline Meta/Self-Referential Homer · Bart · Lisa: You know, we've had a lot of fun tonight at the expense of the U.S. Navy. But they're out there every day protecting us from Godzilla. - And don't forget pirates. - And jellyfish.
N'Sync member: Those whack invertebrates will sting you, old school!
Homer: D'oh! I can't believe I'm meeting Milhouse.
Homer Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — The Simpsons
