Day Of The Jackanapes

Homer:D'oh! [Screams]

Unknown Patient:Oh, Doctor, I'm crazy! [Crying]

Virgil Sinclair · Moe:And you stalled for 20 minutes. Yes. Yes, I did. I was told to.

Homer:Well, it all starts when a 'nulecule' comes out of its nest.

Homer:The answer is bonbon!

Virgil Sinclair · Moe:Bonbon, eh, Moe? Is that your ultimate response? - Yeah-huh. - Ohh. You are... correct!

Krusty:Aw, this quiz show crap is just a fad.

Network Executive:All we're saying is be dangerous, but warm. And edgy-cute.

Krusty:These ferkachted network notes. Can you believe this?

Krusty:I don't need 12 suits telling me which way to pee.

Network Executive:For 'pee,' could you substitute 'whiz'? I don't know. That could upset the Cheez Whiz people.

Network Executive:You can kill me, but two more will take my place!

Lisa:Well, I think it's good for a show to go off the air before it becomes stale and repetitive.

Marge:Maggie shot Mr. Burns again! [Cricket Chirping]

Kent Brockman:not seen since the small plane crash that killed the Banana Splits.

Chief Wiggum · Kent Brockman:Hey, Kent, are you guys still having that contest where we guess what city the weather girl's in? - [Chuckles] That was eight years ago. - Is it Pittsburgh?

Krusty:Kent, the young people today, they think comedy is dirty words. It's not. It's words that sound dirty, like 'mukluk.'

Krusty:Oh, you know, I had a thing for Judge Judy and blank tape was 3.99. What would you do?

Krusty:The show didn't really get funny until we fired Sideshow Bob and hired whozits.

Sideshow Bob:Oh, honestly. At Chino they get to stay up till 9:00.

Sideshow Bob:consists mainly of prisoners who club me with books.

Sideshow Bob:These are from the new Tom Clancy. Although it's less painful than reading him. Am I right, folks?

Lou:Hey, no fair. You got long legs. I got these little bitty hooves.

Raphael:You want to live in the box? Cost you two bucks a day.

Storage Neighbor:Revenge, huh? Half the guys in here are working on that.

Sideshow Bob:To be fair, most of those people were Bart Simpson.

Principal Skinner:Good luck. That kid's like the Road Runner. He won't go down.

Sideshow Bob:Quel dommage.

Sideshow Bob:I believe the clan is Graham-Monroe.

Bart:Hey, I'm not afraid of you. Every time we tangle, you wind up in jail. I'm 6 and 0.

Sideshow Bob · Bart:Rakes. My old archenemy. I thought I was your archenemy.

Sideshow Bob:I have a life outside of you, Bart.

Bart:Krusty? That's the one man I would never kill!

Sideshow Bob:That's it. Oh, damn it! Where'd it go? I needed that for laundry!

Sideshow Bob:Let it entrance you with its twirliness. Twirliness.

Sideshow Bob · Bart:I didn't say anything about command. You're in my power. Say so. I am in your power. Excellent. Actually, go back to command. No, power. Power.

Sideshow Bob · Bart · Homer:If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop. I was at the flower shop. Oh, yeah. Uh, I was at the flower shop too. Yep, getting drunk at the old flower shop.

Sideshow Bob:Yes! Yes! Work the groin!

Chief Wiggum:These days, it's all aluminum this and George W. That.

Rainier Wolfcastle:Someone please give me a job. I've lowered my quote to eight million.

Young Krusty:Look at me. I'm Kaputnik, the Russian satellite. [Gasps] Oh, the Bolshoi's doing the Nutcracker in my pants!

Krusty:Back then you couldn't say 'pants' on TV. I was banned for 10 years.

Krusty:The ferkachted doors are stuck! Don't just stare, Arte. Help me!

Krusty:Oh, look. It was all a bookkeeping snafu.

Sideshow Bob:Ah, kettle chips. The perfect side dish for revenge.

Sideshow Bob · Leo (agent):Well, Krusty, this is your Waterloo. Soon you'll be Napoléon Blownapart. Ew. Terrible.

Sideshow Bob · Leo:Ew. Terrible. Oh, hush up, Leo!

Krusty:Sideshow Bob, I'm sorry.

Sideshow Bob:Oh, no! My boy bomb!

Kent Brockman · Executives:Just some network executives. [Deep Voices] We have notes. Have you thought about Dave Chappelle? Destroy!

Krusty:Will ya stop with the 'sorry'? Every time you try to kill me, my ratings go through the roof, you nut!

Sideshow Bob · Krusty:We are good together, Krusty. It makes me sad that you're getting the death penalty.

Lou · Sideshow Bob:Okay, where do you wanna do this thing? Isn't it customary to have a trial? Oh, a wise guy, huh?

Krusty:Mukluk.