Homer is recruited as a World Cup referee after Lisa extols his integrity on the youth soccer field in a Springfield Elementary speech contest. But when the Simpsons travel to Brazil (again), Homer finds his honesty tested by one of South America's slickest gangsters in the soccer match-bribing business.
WAR
34.8
Wins Above Replacement
“You Dont Have To Live Like A Referee” ranks #387 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 75.6 — Great. The episode packs 58 scored jokes at 3.1 per minute, averaging 6.7 on craft and 6.5 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Bart: Everyone does that with good dads. But with our Dad, it's like climbing Mount Everest. You either plant your flag at the top of the world or get frozen in agony forever. Either way, hell of a show.
Bart Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Homer: If I die, I'll be doing the thing I love the most: trying not to get killed.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Student: My hero is my mom's boyfriend who took me to that movie when I was three. I call him Uncle Rob because... he robbed us!
Student Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Homer: And it better be devastating.
Homer Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Well, no one has ever questioned my professionalism. Except at my profession.
Homer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 58 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Student: Hit the dirt, squirt!
Student · Lincoln actor · Student: Get a room! / I shared beds with men all the time. It was a common practice. / Ooh, common practice.
Douglas actor: Why are you concussing yourself?
Lincoln actor: Guess what, I also play Frankenstein!
Superintendent Chalmers: I have seven other principals, and I've never yelled their names, not even once.
Skinner · Japanese-American: We had to rent out our multipurpose room to a Japanese-American social club. / Tanpatsu!
Nelson · Chalmers: What about po' boys? / Sorry, Nelson. Poor boys such as yourself will go hungry.
Student · Ezra: What makes you a hero? / I don't eat as much as I did!
Student: My hero is my mom's boyfriend who took me to that movie when I was three. I call him Uncle Rob because... he robbed us!
Student Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Lisa: Okay, calm down. Maybe he's talking about Margaret Mead.
Bart: Everyone does that with good dads. But with our Dad, it's like climbing Mount Everest. You either plant your flag at the top of the world or get frozen in agony forever. Either way, hell of a show.
Bart Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Homer: I'm allowed to eat these!
Students: Loser. / Pathetic. / He makes me sick.
Homer: The trick is: wait several weeks.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Lisa: In the history of soccer, he is the only parent to ever take sides against his own kid
Lisa Observational Character Comedy Chalmers: Yes, which means that nobody wins. The money goes back in the school general fund.
Chalmers: Behind a paywall.
Homer: Where did my lawnmower go?
Homer: There's sausage being made?! Where?!
FIFA Executive · Homer: What you Americans call 'soccer.' / D'oh!
Homer: That's the thing the guys at the dry cleaners get so excited about every four years.
WFF Executive: No, no, I mean it spread like wildfire. Much better.
FIFA Executive 1 · Homer: No, no, I mean it spread like wildfire. / Much better.
Peter · FIFA Executive 1: Yes, I will take good care of your wife. / Wait, what-what does that mean?
Homer: Well, no one has ever questioned my professionalism. Except at my profession.
Homer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer · Lisa: The 2008 Super Bowl? / Oh, I wish. Eli Manning's pass to David Tyree.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Flight Attendant: All right, just for that attitude, turbulence.
Luxembourg fan: Got to hurry. I've got 998 square miles to rob!
Announcer 1 · Announcer 2: How did he get those shorts on over that arse? / Rumor has it, they employed a team of pullers.
Announcer · Andres Cantor: Andres Cantor, you know that is incorrect usage. / I have no control...! / This job has taken its toll...!
Homer: The only thing that keeps me from living here is that fish that swims up your pee stream. That is a deal breaker.
Homer: I still can't believe the yellow and red cards don't stand for mustard and ketchup.
Homer: I still can't believe the yellow and red cards don't stand for mustard and ketchup.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer · Gangster: Well, what other ways besides guns and money? / We have two ways. Two very good ways.
Homer: Oh. How fresh? / Oh!
Homer Visual Gag Reaction Beat Hotel worker: You Americans, you really throw your $7.99s around.
Marge: I did not pay $7.99 for an app so I could use the English option.
Homer: And it better be devastating.
Homer Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: But knowing that Lisa chose me as her hero, without ever considering any other hero, keeps me strong.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Bart · Bart: I'm just examining what kind of person I am and whether I should destroy your happiness forever. / Eh, why not?
Homer: And now I'm a man in pain in the naughtiest city since San Francisco turned all nerdy.
Homer: But first I'm gonna eat off someone else's room service tray that was left in the hall.
Homer: It's okay. I'm an American.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Gangster: But beware: Superman was never less fun.
Fan 1 · Fan 2 · Announcer: Nazis! / Nazi harborers! / Guys, you're both right.
Homer · Homer · Gangster · Homer: If I bet it, I could double it. / But on who? / You know that Brazil is going to win. / Oh, thanks for telling me! I was gonna tape it.
Homer · Lisa · Homer: Well, if we're gonna be brutally honest, that drawing you made of me when you were three was far from a perfect likeness. / You put it on the fridge! / It was pity-fridged!
Homer: If I die, I'll be doing the thing I love the most: trying not to get killed.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Brazilian fans: ♪ Olé... ♪ / ♪ Olé, olé, olé... ♪
Homer: Well, at least I'll die the American way. In a foreign country wearing short pants.
Gangster · Homer · Marge: How's she doing that? / I don't know, but she's my new hero. / Yeah, I was a little surprised I wasn't considered before.
Gangster mother: On a 15-hour flight!
Gangster mother: On a 15-hour flight! You are free to go.
Homer: The best thing is I can get locally-sourced monkey meat.
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Top Episodes — The Simpsons
