While working as a human guinea pig (to pay off the family's lost savings after making a bad investment), Homer discovers the root cause of his subnormal intelligence: a crayon that was lodged in his brain ever since he was a boy. He decides to have it removed to increase his IQ, but discovers that being smart does not necessarily equal being happy.
WAR
66.3
Wins Above Replacement
“Homя” ranks #77 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 83.8 — Elite. The episode packs 68 scored jokes at 3.6 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: Better. I was working on a flat tax proposal... and I accidentally proved there's no God.
Cletus: Now hold still. Nothing cracks a turtle like Leon Uris. Ow! Dang it! Ow!
Ned Flanders: We'll just see about tha- Uh-oh. Well, maybe he made a mista- No. It's airtight. Can't let this little doozy get out.
Nelson · Homer: A moron says what? Not being a moron, I wouldn't know. However- [Mumbles] What? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you your moron.
Ned: We'll just see about tha- Uh-oh. Well, maybe he made a mista- No. It's airtight.
Ned Escalation Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 68 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer: D'oh! [Screams] [Air Whooshing]
Homer Physical/Slapstick Running Gag Unknown narrator: Animation is so great. It's way better than... whatever the alternative is.
Bart: Wait. I'm confused. Why was a wolf shooting a web?
Bart Observational Absurdist Homer · Marge: Cartoons don't have to make sense. He's right, you know.
Homer Marge Meta/Self-Referential Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Gravey · Jobriath: What you making there, Gravey? It's a pipe bomb, Jobriath... for to blow up Planned Parenthood.
Voice actor · Reporter: All I need is some courage. Courage, I tell ya. Excuse me, but isn't that voice very similar to the Cowardly Lion?
Voice actor · Reporter: Humina, humina, humina, humina, humina. And Clutzy Cat sounds exactly like Jerry Lewis... with the stealing and the lawsuit and the 'Oh, nice judge. Don't hurt a person with the thing.'
Louis · Itchy: Here's your smokes, Mr. Itchy. Thank you, Louis.
Itchy · Multiple characters: I don't know what's in 'em. I just know I can't stop smokin' 'em! [All Laughing] [All Coughing]
Ned Flanders: Wait a minute. Was that cat making out with that mouse? 'Cause if they were-
Homer Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Homer: I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, Here is my spout
Homer Physical/Slapstick Absurdist Homer: I'll make him an offer he can't refuse. And that's the truth. [Raspberry]
Homer Observational Character Comedy Homer: Don't spay or neuter your pets. Good night!
Homer Misdirection Absurdist Homer · Multiple characters: Oh, yeah. Urinal cake eroding. Eroding! Eroding! Gone! [All Cheer] [All Whimper]
Homer: An opossum capering around like that would be a smash hit. It would be the world's funniest marsupial.
Homer · Unknown character: And I'm gonna get a piece of the action! So, does he still work here, or what?
Homer · Homer as Marge: Hello, Marge. [High-pitched Voice] Hi, Homie. Sign this, please. [High-pitched Voice] You're the boss.
Homer · Homer as child · Bank teller: [High-pitched Voice] Daddy, ask the man for some candy. No, no. No candy for you. [High-pitched Voice] Well, at least get some candy for yourself. [Chuckles] Kids.
Homer: You heard the monkey. Make the trade.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Automated voice · Homer: Animotion, up one and one-half. Yahoo! Yahoo, up six and a quarter. Huh? What is this crap?
News anchor · Homer: After plunging 75 points this morning. Oh. I hope 'plunging' means 'up' and '75' means '200.'
News anchor: The firm declared super-duper bankruptcy... which is terrible news for the company's only stockholder, Homer Simpson.
Homer · Family: Okay, people. Let's keep this short. We all want to get home to our families. [All Laughing] All right. First item. I lost our life savings in the stock market.
Homer · Lisa: Now let's move on to the real issue- Lisa's hogging of the maple syrup. Well, maybe if Mom didn't make such dry waffles. There, I said it.
Marge: Well, maybe if you ate some meat, you'd have a natural lubricant.
Marge Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Homer: Point of order. I didn't lose all the money. There was enough left for this cowbell. Damn you, eBay!
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Homer Character Comedy Observational Homer · Marge: You rent your womb to a rich childless couple. If you agree, signify by getting indignant. Are you crazy? I'm not gonna be a surrogate mother.
Homer: It's 'uter-us,' not 'uter-you.'
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Barney · Homer: Like you chew on a telephone wire till you get a shock. Oh. Oh, right. Okay.
Homer · Barney: Are those ears? Ow! Not so loud!
Scientist: We'll call it Desert Breeze.
Homer · Scientists: Food? [Whimpers] I'm blind! [Screaming] Who's gonna buy a pill that makes you blind?
Scientists: He's a little too well fed to be a wino. Hey. What's that? Zoom in on section eight.
Homer · Dr. Hibbert: But I've had thousands of head X-rays. How come no one ever noticed it before? Oh, I can answer that. You see, whenever I pick up an X-ray, I always hold it like this. My thumb must have covered up the crayon every time.
Dr. Hibbert: [Chuckles] I'll show myself out.
Young Homer · Adult Homer: Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen! Whoo-hoo! Oh, I don't feel so good. [Sneezes] Ah, I think that's all of them.
Homer: Hey, I came here to be drugged, electrocuted and probed, not insulted.
Homer Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Homer: Increase my killing power, eh? Let's do it.
Homer Misdirection Character Comedy Homer: And they gave me this spiffy nerd ensemble too.
Homer Character Comedy Visual Gag Homer: Dr. Joyce Brothers may be well-known... but her psychological credentials are highly suspect.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Homer: Notice I no longer say 'libary' or 'tomorry.'
Homer Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Homer: It's so tragic the way they hopped on Pop.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Cletus: Now hold still. Nothing cracks a turtle like Leon Uris. Ow! Dang it! Ow!
Ned Flanders: That sonata may not be a Glenn Gould performance... but I must say it's 'good as Gould.' [Chuckles]
Homer: Better. I was working on a flat tax proposal... and I accidentally proved there's no God.
Ned: We'll just see about tha- Uh-oh. Well, maybe he made a mista- No. It's airtight.
Ned Escalation Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Ned Flanders: We'll just see about tha- Uh-oh. Well, maybe he made a mista- No. It's airtight. Can't let this little doozy get out.
Homer: I am here to give hope to the least of you... because we all have a crayon up our nose. Maybe it's not a crayon made of wax. Maybe it's a crayon made of prejudice.
Homer Observational Meta/Self-Referential Callback Nelson · Homer: A moron says what? Not being a moron, I wouldn't know. However- [Mumbles] What? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you your moron.
Homer · Lenny: I've compiled a thorough safety report on this plant. I've decided to disintermediate the local authorities... and send it straight to the Nuclear Regulatory Commission.
Carl · Carl's codpiece wearer: Homer's the guy who rigged up my pants with this special codpiece. Comfy, isn't it? Oh, yeah. It provides the freedom and protection I so sorely need.
Carl: I can't feed my family with a codpiece.
Carl Callback Character Comedy Callback Homer: Wait. You can't hate me. I'm your better! Your better!
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Homer: Hey! That's me! Stop that. The fire inspector would be appalled.
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Barney: And I was a lot happier before I knew Dame Edna was a man. A lot happier.
Barney Character Comedy Observational Homer · Moe: I'm detecting a distinct strain... of anti-intellectualism in this tavern. Power off, Einstein.
Lisa: Oh, many things. Tai chi, chai tea... but I find when I can't keep the unhappy thoughts from swirling in my brain... the best thing is usually a nice long walk.
Lisa Character Comedy Escalation Homer · Moviegoer · Another moviegoer: You know she's gonna wind up marrying Richard Gere. I thought she'd wind up with that rich snob. Ably played by Bill Paxton. It's Bill Pullman, you fool!
Homer: Hey. Don't blame me. This movie is tired and predictable.
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Observational Homer: I'm a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Homer · Octo-parrot: That's ridiculous. You do nothing but play God. And I think your 'octo-parrot' would agree. [Squawks] Polly shouldn't be. [Whistles]
Moe: The old 'Crayola oblongata.'
Moe Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Homer · Moe: Extended warranty? How can I lose? Perfect.
Homer Moe Character Comedy Callback Callback Homer: We were what-what in the what-what?
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Homer (letter): Lisa, I'm taking the coward's way out. But before I do, I just want you to know... being smart made me appreciate how amazing you really are.
Homer · Lisa: Oh, you want a hug. Well, that I know how to do. [Grunts] Mmm. Hug.
Homer Lisa Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Top Episodes — The Simpsons
