The Fat And The Furriest

Homer:I'm glad this holiday only comes every four years.

Homer:Twenty on the trifecta?

Homer:Her wedding china back?

Homer:I could get Marge a new window just like this one!

Bart:Even Christian videos with talking vegetables.

Animated vegetables:Mighty Yamses, we are weary of building your food pyramid. Let my pickles go!

Homer:Mmm! Moses.

Bart:How dare you challenge my perceptions of what old people can do!

Bart:Like I can't shoplift with my mouth.

Marge:Oh, look, Jaclyn Smith has her own line of axe heads!

Homer:only imperfect stuff for me.

Nelson:Hey, look. It's 'Hairy Ass' Tubman.

Nelson:Well, well, if it isn't Fatty and Smell-ma.

Homer:Your names can't hurt us.

Patty · Selma:We got one when we appeared on an episode of The Price is Right, which the network refused to air. Apparently, we're not 'TV pretty.'

Product label:Endorsed by the American Carny Association.

Homer:I never thought I'd say this, but you slags are all right.

Selma:I feel like a secretary on Administrative Professionals Day!

Homer:It is so thoughtful, it makes the kids' gifts look like crap.

Bart:Oh, Marge, get a room!

Marge:Only my hairdresser knows for sure.

Marge:Dare I pour caramel over the cotton candy?

Homer:And then finally, I can eat my shorts!

Homer:This is 85 pounds of tooth-melting sugar. Dig in.

Homer:That's it, kids. Suckle daddy's sugar ball.

Chief Wiggum · Lou:His passenger is just a big piece of candy. I wish mine was.

Homer:That's my old lady.

Ned Flanders:I was saving sugar for my wedding night!

Sugar Ball/Homer's inner voice:I think you should get rid of her. Then we can be together forever!

Homer:I'll think of you whenever I have a stroke or a heart attack.

Homer:Well, I guess I don't have to worry anymore about the dangers of smoking.

Homer:Smooth.

Marge:But seeing you like this is more than I can bear.

News anchor:The angry president woke up, crawled out of his grave and went back to work.

Kent Brockman:It's time for another installment of 'Kent's Cowards.'

Homer:I went to Starbucks. But you didn't see that on tape.

Grant Connor:Not with a gun, but with a camera! That's right, Kent. I often get guns and cameras confused. One time, tragically, at a wedding...

Lisa:We'd rather have a live sissy mincing around the house than some dead hero any day.

Homer:Choke on your candor!

Lisa:You can strangle Bart, but you can't strangle your humiliation.

Nelson:The only thing my dad's afraid of is paying child support.

Milhouse:My dad once beat up six employees at KFC. And he'd been up for three days.

Mr. Burns:What a delightful practically-based joke.

Homer:Oh, God, they're in our food! Teddy Grahams, Gummi Bears!

Care Bear:I'm an intensive Care Bear.

Care Bear:Why does a bear need a crowbar? I don't like to get my hands dirty.

Homer:Can I fight human-style by slowly poisoning his environment until he loses his fur and becomes sterile?

Grampa:You cowardly Swede!

Homer · Grampa:But how will I find out what you had for lunch in 1928? I have a web site!

Grampa's website:Welcome to my home page. Why don't you visit more often?

Grant Connor:It's the same technology they use to keep tabs on Gary Busey.

Homer:Finally, science has joined forces with revenge.

Grant Connor:weighs more than a Mazda Miata and can tear through a tree like a Jewish mother through self-esteem.

Homer:And I did it all without wasting money on one of those stupid welder's masks.

Narrator:Available wherever fat men dream.

Homer:I know. If I get really scared, I don't want to ruin the suit.

Homer:What kind of an example would I be if I didn't take revenge on things?

Homer:Lisa, the point of Moby Dick is be yourself.

Homer:Gentlemen, sometimes a man must put his marriage at risk for reasons that are confusing even to him.

Bart:When I grow up, I'm legally changing my name to Joe Kickass!

Lisa as country-western octopus:Howdy, y'all. If you don't like my song, I'll spray you with ink!

Lenny · Carl:Yeah. We borrowed 'em for the radio.

Marge:I don't want my last words to him to be, 'Clip your toenails, they look like Fritos.'

Bart:Yeah. It almost wrecked the whole trip.

Grant Connor:But first, a snack.

Homer:Jeez, I don't know why bear hugs enjoy such a great reputation.

Homer:Oh, no. The hunter has become the hunter.

Homer:Wrong again, liberal media.

Grant Connor:Either as hostage or as what we call a 'forest bride.'

Homer:It's so easy to condemn, so hard to create.

Hunters:What you said didn't really add much. I know. I just wanted to belong.

Hunter 3:I know. I just wanted to belong.

Lisa:Yeah. But now he's being attacked by an elephant!

Marge:You set out to fight an animal, and you ended up saving its life.