Krusty discovers that he never had a bar mitzvah as a child. He quits his show to have it as an adult, with the help of his father, Rabbi Krustofski. Meanwhile, Homer hosts a late-night talk show a la "Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher" as a replacement for Krusty's show.
WAR
52.4
Wins Above Replacement
“Today I Am A Clown” ranks #262 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 78.8 — Elite. The episode packs 69 scored jokes at 3.9 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.5 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Krusty: I thought I was a self-hating Jew! But it turns out, I'm just a plain old anti-Semite!
Krusty Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch kid · Homer: I eat Legos. So did I, son. And look where I am today.
Groundskeeper Willie: He's an irritable, walleyed, misfit, bastard! Just like Willie.
Lisa: I have a Jewish imaginary friend. Her name is Rachel Cohen and she just got into Brandeis.
Lisa Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer: Yet the IMF insists on unrealistic debt repayment schedules.
Homer Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 69 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer: (SINGING) Time to wizz in a foaming bowl of china
Homer Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Homer · Bart: Son, can I have cuts? No! Back cuts? Okay. Sweet. Hey!
Homer: Oh, God! It's baby blood!
Homer Cringe/Discomfort Escalation Homer: I tried the coat hanger again. I don't understand why we only try ideas once.
Homer Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer · Dr. Hibbert: Dr. Hibbert? Is someone seriously ill? Oh, I wish! (LAUGHS)
Dr. Hibbert: Santa's Little Helper paid a bootie call to my purebred poodle, Rosa Barks
Dr. Hibbert: And he had his eyes on her prize. I'm gonna drop that analogy now.
Dr. Hibbert: You just lost a box, pal!
Homer: on our way to the clinic, I decided to give him a night his wang would never forget
Homer: Wanna play some air hockey? Three hundred and fifty dollars an hour. You're on!
Homer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Marge: You broke our deal! We had an oral contract!
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Groundskeeper Willie: He's an irritable, walleyed, misfit, bastard! Just like Willie.
Bart · stranger: Hey, mister, would you like a puppy? No. But I'll take one!
Krusty: Seen it... Bad... Boring... Saw it on the plane... Rerun... Rerun... Telemundo... Me... Turned it down... ABC... Banned from the set... Lame... Lame... Regis...
Krusty Running Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Krusty: Let's see, champagne or Slim Fast?
Krusty Character Comedy Observational street vendor: DSL! DSL! Who will buy my high-speed connections?
street vendor: Brazilian wax! Get your velvety smooth, Brazilian wax!
Krusty: Here, go on Sandy Koufax. I lost ten grand when he wouldn't pitch on Yom Kippur! I did five shows that night!
Krusty Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Krusty: Why ain't I here? I'm a bigger name than... Chaim Potok! What is he? Some kind of Klingon?
Krusty: Circumcision? And then some! (CHUCKLES)
Krusty · Rabbi: Do you know how much I donate to the B'nai B'rith? Actually, I do. Goodbye.
Krusty: Oh, I was turned down by all those country clubs for nothing!
Krusty Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Krusty: I thought I was a self-hating Jew! But it turns out, I'm just a plain old anti-Semite!
Krusty Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Krusty: Without a Bar Mitzvah, I'm just a boy with a prostate the size of a goat's head!
Krusty: I remember learning to ride a bike, then pretty much nothing till right now.
Krusty Character Comedy Observational Krusty: Maybe I am but you can't argue with the laughs.
Krusty Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Rabbi · Krusty: So what? It's not my job to make kids laugh. Yes, it is. You're a clown.
Krusty: That'd be great. Are you sure that's kosher?
Krusty Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Lisa: I have a Jewish imaginary friend. Her name is Rachel Cohen and she just got into Brandeis.
Lisa Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Krusty: He's a son, a lover and a pundit rolled into one sexy package!
Krusty Escalation Character Comedy Krusty: Such expensive flowers, filled with remorse.
Krusty Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Krusty: Man, are you unpleasant! You're in!
Krusty Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Homer: Welcome to The Homer Simpson Show. I'm your host, next card. Homer Simpson
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Homer: Carl Carlson, raconteur, and Lenny Leonard, three-time juror
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer: You ever notice how seats are too small for normal looking guys like me? Theaters, airplanes? Why even here! Look!
Carl: Never go on the teacup ride after eating at Beauty and the Beast's Fried Dough Chateau.
Carl Observational Character Comedy Lenny: How about some new oldies, geniuses?
Lenny Observational Wordplay/Pun Marge · Homer: Who has more power? Miss America or Miss USA? I think one's elected and the other one's appointed.
Homer · prostitute: Go home, turn on your television, Channel Six. Thanks for the tip!
Homer: I think one's elected and the other one's appointed.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Homer: All these rules! I feel like I'm in a strip club!
Homer Character Comedy Callback Callback Homer: All these rules! I feel like I'm in a strip club!
Homer Callback Character Comedy Callback Lenny · Homer: I was wondering if I could get a small cost of living raise? Interesting. Please welcome new panelist, Barney Gumble.
Barney · Homer: That light's a little bright. You think you can move it? Please welcome our newest panelist, Disco Stu.
Disco Stu: Disco Stu knows his place.
Disco Stu Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Marge: My husband's a power-mad star. Maybe now we can get that padding that goes under rugs.
Marge Character Comedy Observational Executive · Krusty: You're not doing this fast enough! You're fired, too!
Child · Homer: I eat Legos. So did I, son. And look where I am today.
kid · Homer: I eat Legos. So did I, son. And look where I am today.
Homer: Duck, Mister Lincoln!
Homer Visual Gag Character Comedy Homer: I say live fast, die young, and leave a big fat corpse!
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Krusty: How about a show where girls think I'm a millionaire? But what they don't know is I'm rife with disease!
Krusty Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Krusty: Please, you people are known for taking chances on crap.
Krusty Meta/Self-Referential Observational Homer: 'Boobs.' (LAUGHS) Just like what girls got.
Homer: Yet the IMF insists on unrealistic debt repayment schedules.
Homer Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Grampa: This show stinks! I knew my son would blow it! Where's the remote? Oh, it might as well be in China.
Grampa Character Comedy Escalation Krusty · Mr. T: T, I haven't seen you since we roasted Chevy Chase! Yeah. We were kind of rough on him. I feel bad for the guy. You pitied the fool? That's one way of putting it.
Mr. T: Baruch adonai hamvorach, fool!
Marge: So that's why Bart has all those broken tracheal bones. Tight bow tie, my ass!
Marge Dark/Subversive Character Comedy announcer: That's a lot of latke!
Homer: Marge, I thank God every day you settled for me.
Homer Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Marge, I thank God every day you settled for me.
Mr. T: I pity the shul that won't let Krusty in now!
Mr. T Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Krusty: I wish I had invested my money better.
Krusty Character Comedy Observational Network executive: Krusty, the ratings were good. Raymond re-run good.
Homer · Marge: I'm hungry. Are they married yet? They're not getting married. Then whose garter is this?
Mr. T: I pity the fool who didn't bring an envelope to this Bar Mitzvah.
Mr. T: I pity the fool who didn't bring an envelope to this Bar Mitzvah.
Mr. T Character Comedy Observational Top Episodes — The Simpsons
