Homer realizes how selfish he is after he spends all the family's Christmas money on a present for himself. He becomes the nicest guy in town, making Ned Flanders jealous.
WAR
74.9
Wins Above Replacement
“Tis The Fifteenth Season” ranks #56 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 85.0 — Elite. The episode packs 69 scored jokes at 3.6 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 7.0 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: That's not true! I cared what you thought once you found out!
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Homer: Oh, my God! It's like looking at a cartoon version of myself!
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Marge: I'm gonna parcel my anger out over the next few days and weeks, jabbing at you just when you seem the most content.
Marge Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Krusty: For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold.
Krusty Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Ned: That Homer just burns my waffles. Pain is the cleanser! Pain is the cleanser!
Ned Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 69 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ TV Announcer: Kent Brockman, who's contractually permitted to replace himself with a cardboard cutout. The real Kent is in a rehab clinic. We all wish him the best... Again.
Character putting on winter boots: See ya in spring, toes.
Krusty: For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold.
Krusty Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Carl: Apparently working in Hawaii was a pleasure.
Carl Deadpan/Understatement Observational Homer: Oh, Carl, you remembered I like TV.
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Homer: May the spirit of Retsyn be with you all year long. God bless God. Amen.
Homer Absurdist Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Lenny · Homer: Homer, you're the most selfish man I know. Oh, come on. Mister Burns is way more selfish.
Homer: That evil old bone bag smelling of death, nose like a vulture, followed everywhere by that kiss-ass Smithers.
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Mr. Burns: Yes. That describes Kathy in Personnel to a tee.
Mr. Burns Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mr. Burns: It's time for your Christmas 'bon-i.' Everyone gets a five-dollar cafeteria voucher.
Mr. Burns: Joe DiMaggio? Yes. It seems they've started letting ethnics into the big leagues.
Comic Book Guy: I'm sorry. But I'm afraid your card is only worth everything I've got! Everything! Take it!
Comic Book Guy: Oh, no! I've smudged it with nacho fingers. I must deftly lick it off. Deftly...
California Prunes: Oh, pruny night / The stars are sweetly wrinkled
Marge: This is offensive to Christians and prunes.
Marge Deadpan/Understatement Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer · Lisa · Marge: Let's shop till we droop. I think that's 'drop.' That's a very violent image, Lisa.
Homer: then we'll spend the rest of the cash on a Christmas tree so large, its absence from the forest will cause mudslides and flooding!
Bart: Awesome! I'm blasting all the state capitals! Oh, take that, Salem, Oregon! Wait a minute. This game is educational! That'll teach you to teach me!
Bart Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Homer: Oh, God! It's so unnecessary!
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Homer: I'm upside-down so much!
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Astrolabe · Homer: Today is the birthday of comedienne Margaret Cho. That's the birthday I'm always forgetting! I must have it!
Homer: Now, everyone just relax, lock your doors, don't make eye contact with anyone, and listen to the radio.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Radio Trucker Song: Three kings put the hammer down / Cause we got a Christmas convoy, ain't she a beautiful thing? / 10-4, King of the Jews
Homer: Why do things I love always burn?
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Homer: Woo-hoo! Maggie's talking!
Homer Misdirection Character Comedy Homer: There's a trickledown theory here. If I'm happy, I'm less abusive to the rest of you.
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Astrolabe: I am not returnable.
Marge: This is sadder than Tuesdays with Morrie.
Marge Observational Wordplay/Pun Homer: You have to get your hair done at Supercuts. I guess regular cuts just isn't good enough for you.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Homer: That's not true! I cared what you thought once you found out!
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Marge: I'm gonna parcel my anger out over the next few days and weeks, jabbing at you just when you seem the most content.
Marge Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Astrolabe · Homer: Colombia's main export is coffee. Exactly.
Mr. McGrew · Someone: I can't find my way back to the home. I heard you the first five times!
Cratchit · McGrew: Sir, I'm over here. Woo-hoo. Sorry, pardon me, ma'am. I see you're expecting. May I listen to the baby's heartbeat?
TV Character: Oh, McGrew. Once again you've mistaken something for something.
TV Character Meta/Self-Referential Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Homer: Oh, my God! It's like looking at a cartoon version of myself!
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Homer: Come on, Death. Leave McGrew alone. Take Tiny Tim!
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: 'Unloved by Al?' No! 'Unloved by all?' No!
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Yeah. TV writers have been milking that goat for years.
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Observational TV Parody: Reform, Ebenezer Urkel! You have alienated everyone who loved you! Did I do that?
Star Trek Parody: It's no use, Captain. He's showin' visions of me future. God, I'm so fat! I said fire!
Homer: Yes. But this time I'm sober-ish.
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Hobo · Homer: These pants smell worse than my old pants. You're welcome.
Homer · Lenny: A photo cube with pictures of us! And I filed down all the sharp corners. See? Your eye is completely safe! Oh, wow, it just stings a little.
Marge: Oh, your thoughtfulness tastes so good. And tears are the sweetest sauce.
Marge Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer: All right, now you're starting to creep me out.
Homer Reaction Beat Character Comedy Ned · Reverend: I'm just buying that stairway to heaven Jesus sang of. That was Led Zeppelin. Get back to your bong, hippie.
Todd · Ned: I'm jealous of girls because they get to wear dresses. One problem at a time, boy.
Todd Ned Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Homer: Being unselfish is a natural high like hiking or paint thinner.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer: And here's another act of Christian charity I pulled out of my butt.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Homer · Hobo: Here's your skates. Oh, you'll have to take off those boots. Those are my feet. Eew!
News Reporter: Santa Claus is dead. Or he might as well be because there's an even fatter man who's holding families at nice-point.
Ned: That Homer just burns my waffles. Pain is the cleanser! Pain is the cleanser!
Ned Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Ned: I know that can be a dickens of a doozie!
Ned Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Ned: I said 'man,' not 'man-God'! Keep your pants on!
Ned Character Comedy Escalation Agnes Skinner: What's your angle, pervert?
Krusty's Voice (Operation Game): You just tweezered my wang!
Lisa: People would be a lot happier without presents.
Lisa Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: I'm not going to jail again.
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Homer: You're a hero, Homer J / You're as crafty as a skunk / They'll thank you in the morning for stealing Flanders' junk
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Criminal: Man, so this is how it feels. I'd better see my shrink and rob his ass!
Selma: Do you think it was Papa? I wouldn't put it past him. He stole my gold tooth the night he left.
Selma Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Patty: He didn't leave. He went to the store. And when he comes back, I'll wave those Pop Tarts right in your face!
Patty Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Apu: Your behavior, it's like not sanctioned by any governing body. You're like wild.
Apu Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Person on mountain: That's my last flare. Somebody better come soon. Oh, thank goodness. Rescue dogs. (GROWLING)
Reverend Lovejoy: Let's just say that on this day a million years ago, a dude was born who most of us think was magic. But others don't. And that's cool. But we're probably right.
Elderly man: Oh, joy! Let's see what we got here. It's a new brassiere! But I don't even have them, but okay. I'll make pretend.
Moe · Crowd: I ain't got all day, Drama Queen. Get it over with. I will! And then you'll all wish you was nicer to me! Who am I kidding? I ain't gonna jump.
Moe Crowd Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Astrolabe: Today is the birthday of our Lord, Jesus Christ, and singer Barbara Mandrell.
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