The men and boys in Springfield become obsessed with Ultimate Punch Kick and Choke Championships, a violent sport where fighters inflict severe pain on each other. When Marge and her friends stage a protest against the sport, the show's promoter embraces the controversy and challenges Marge to a match, promising to shut down the competition if she wins. She begins to train with rhythmic gymnastics, but her family step in and get her professional martial arts help to give her a real chance at winning.
WAR
68
Wins Above Replacement
“The Great Wife Hope” ranks #27 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 87.2 — Elite. The episode packs 61 scored jokes at 3.7 per minute, averaging 7.3 on craft and 7.0 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Marge: If Gandhi could go without eating for a whole three-hour movie, I can do this.
Marge Misdirection Observational ★ Rewatch Nelson: You can't stop an entire sport. You'd need several other mothers, some sympathetic school officials and clergymen... A place to meet, some snacks... What else? A phone tree is invaluable. How you fixed for staplers?
Nelson Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Carl · Homer: One unlucky punch and Marge could be bedridden for life. Unable to move anything but her left toe. Yeah. 'FEED ME'
Unknown protester: Call me a killjoy, but I think that because this is not to my taste, no one else should be able to enjoy it.
Homer: She knew my one weakness: that I'm weak!
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 61 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer: I Googled 'girls having fun,' and after wading through 97,000 pages of porn, I found 'crazy bowling.'
Homer Observational Absurdist ★ Rewatch Unknown female character: It's pretty sad when I can't pick up a guy on Super Nacho Tuesday.
Unknown spectator · Another spectator: Come on, you pansies! I've seen fiercer fights in Parliament! / Yes, what is this, Prime Minister's Question Time?
Homer: There's no better violence than self-inflicted violence.
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart · Homer: I'll remember this day on my deathbed. / Not everyone has a deathbed, son. You could die suddenly.
Bart Homer Dark/Subversive Misdirection ★ Rewatch Bart · Homer: Maybe some punk kid will shoot me to get into a gang. / Maybe.
Homer · Bart: Just like the ancient Romans. / Yeah, except their empire was falling apart.
Homer Reaction Beat Character Comedy Bart: Filthy but obscure with a subtle scatological undertone.
Bart Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Fighter: Sure, no problem. $25, please.
Fighter Misdirection Character Comedy Homer: don't try this at home. Do it at the schoolyard. Someplace where, if you get hurt, we can sue not just them but the school, the county, the state, and that jackass Joe Biden.
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Marge · Lisa · Marge: Where's your brother? / I don't know, chasing ducks, buried alive? / He'll be missed. Let's move: I got to collect pine cones.
Bart · Lisa: Die, die, die! / Just follow the dies, Mom.
Bart Lisa Wordplay/Pun Misdirection ★ Rewatch Marge: God didn't give you legs so you could use them as scissors.
Marge Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Marge · Lisa: 'Ultimate' makes everything worse. / Not Frisbee.
Marge · Otto: Otto, don't you have a sack to hacky? / Indeed I do.
Otto: One... I messed up. One... I messed up. One... I messed up!
Otto Physical/Slapstick Escalation Nelson: You can't stop an entire sport. You'd need several other mothers, some sympathetic school officials and clergymen... A place to meet, some snacks... What else? A phone tree is invaluable. How you fixed for staplers?
Nelson Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Nelson · Marge · Nelson: When I grow up, I hope to go into event planning. / Maybe someday you can do Lisa's wedding. / I'd like that.
Unknown protester: Call me a killjoy, but I think that because this is not to my taste, no one else should be able to enjoy it.
Chett: This sport is as fun for me as having kids is for you.
Chett Dark/Subversive Observational Bart · Homer: she got to you with a piece of Black Forest cake. / It wasn't just a piece, it was the whole cake! Frosting like snow on the eaves of a Bavarian castle!
Homer: She knew my one weakness: that I'm weak!
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Protesters: One, two, we say boo! Three, four, stop the gore! Five, six, who's got tix? Seven, eight, use that gate.
Scalper: I am not a scalper. I am a dude whose 200 friends did not show up.
Scalper Misdirection Character Comedy Protesters: Have you ever noticed how that baby of hers never says a thing? I think it saw something awful. / Me, too. That's exactly what it is. / What else could it be?
Male spectator: That woman has natural breasts.
Arena worker: Nobody tears down the septagon. Except for the arena crew because Hufflesnuffs on Ice needs the space tomorrow.
Chett: When you yell like that, no one can hear me.
Chett Irony/Sarcasm Observational Marge: At least in other sports, they're trying to put a ball in a net or a zone, but in this sport they don't put anything in anything, and if they did, I wouldn't want to see it.
Marge Observational ★ Rewatch Chett · Crowd: What's wrong, Marge? Do you have to ask your husband? Good one! Zing!
Marge: That flattens my soda pop. You're on.
Marge Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Homer: he'll knock your block off your beautiful block
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Marge: If Gandhi could go without eating for a whole three-hour movie, I can do this.
Marge Misdirection Observational ★ Rewatch Marge · Bart: Besides, I'm a woman. He'll probably go easy on me. / Or kick the crap out of you.
Homer: Watch your language, moron.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Marge: If I'm going to open a can of whup-tushy, I'd better get in shape with some rhythmic gymnastics.
Marge Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Lisa: This goes against every feminist bone in my body, but Dad, can't you control your woman?
Lisa Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Carl · Homer: One unlucky punch and Marge could be bedridden for life. Unable to move anything but her left toe. Yeah. 'FEED ME'
Carl · Homer · Carl: You think just 'cause I'm black I know all other black people? / Well, I, uh, uh... / Actually, Drederick and I are very good friends. We met through Dr. Hibbert at a party at Bleeding Gums Murphy's house.
Drederick Tatum: I'm always happy to impart my pugilistic prowess to a punching parvenu.
Drederick Tatum: I'd like to order 2 gazelles, an impala, and throw in a couple of wildebeests. Oh, and a two-liter bottle of diet cherry cola. You just have one-liter bottles? Okay, cancel the whole order.
Akira: Sorry, my English is not so good. I mean, he feels only pain.
Akira Misdirection Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Professor Frink: Back when I wrestled at Yale, I was in the lightest weight category: 'ether weight.'
Mr. Burns: Now, get ready to face the wrath of the 'New Haven Nuisance!'
Principal Skinner: In order to save money, the following presidents will no longer be taught: Buchanan, Fillmore, Pierce, Bush, Bush...
Chett: More like 'Beat, Slay, Shove!'
Chett Wordplay/Pun Setup/Punchline Stagehand · Chett · Stagehand: No can do. We're out of fireworks. / Why'd you shoot 'em off now? / I have trouble concentrating. I should be on antidepressants.
Unknown · Milhouse: Is there someone in there? / It's my own fault. I looked them in the eye when I gave them my lunch money.
Milhouse: It's my own fault. I looked them in the eye when I gave them my lunch money.
Milhouse Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Lisa · Homer · Homer: Dad, I keep telling you, that won't work. / Let's go, Marge. My class reunion starts in an hour. / Uh, Moe, I have a confession to make. I'm just Homer dressed as Marge.
Krusty · Comic: Yeah, I thought a noisy public place would be the best spot to tell you that I've been dating your wife. / What?! / Also, could you tell her I'm dumping her?
Lisa: Hey, Bart, did you know that's a haiku?
Lisa Meta/Self-Referential Observational ★ Rewatch Ring announcer: And four obtuse angles over, weighing in at 115 pounds, Chett Englebrecht!
Chett: That's the first time I ever hit a woman I didn't love.
Chett Dark/Subversive Misdirection ★ Rewatch Bart: I'm gonna knock you out and moon your corpse.
Bart Escalation Character Comedy Spectator · Another spectator · First spectator: There sure is a lot o' talkin' for a professional fight. / That's what you get when you fight a woman. / And they spend all day eating bonbons and watching General Hospital. Which, by the way, has never been better.
Audience member · Another audience member: That's what you get when you fight a woman. / And they spend all day eating bonbons and watching General Hospital. Which, by the way, has never been better.
Homer · Marge: We can enjoy some mixed 'marital' arts. / Oh, no holds barred.
Bart: I don't know when we'll be in a septagon again. Want to settle this bad blood that's been going on between us since you were born?
Bart Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart · Lisa: I don't know when we'll be in a septagon again. Want to settle this bad blood that's been going on between us since you were born? / You're on.
Bart Lisa Callback Character Comedy Callback Top Episodes — The Simpsons
