When superintendent Chalmers is fired for taking Bart and his friends on an unauthorized field trip, the boys hold the school hostage until he is reinstated.
WAR
37.8
Wins Above Replacement
“Bart Stops To Smell The Roosevelts” ranks #444 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 74.2 — Great. The episode packs 85 scored jokes at 4.6 per minute, averaging 6.7 on craft and 6.2 on impact, with Bart landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Superintendent Chalmers: I'd say you're dumb as a post, but at least you can put a sign on a post that says 'fresh strawberries-- one mile.'
Principal Skinner: I'm gonna call that carpet cleaning service and tell them our hallway doesn't count as a room.
Bart: I thought teachers only went outdoors to smoke and cry.
Bart Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: What? Two dollar charge for non-network bank? - Oh!
Homer Observational Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Principal Skinner: And I have been since I was hung by my armpits in a North Vietnamese prison.
All Jokes — 85 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer: God, I love to watch that woman get beer.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Homer Character Comedy Callback Homer: for things we don't need for kids we didn't want.
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Sea Captain: Yarr! Just plastic. Which is healthier than what you find in the ocean.
Homer: I don't want people to know my kids go to this lousy school.
Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Principal Skinner: I'll just leave the food on your doorstep and ring the bell.
Comic Book Guy: I bought one last year and it was crap construction.
Lisa: Paddles down. It's the only way to change the system.
Lisa Character Comedy Observational Bart: I am Edith Knickertwist, an eccentric widow.
Bart Character Comedy Absurdist Principal Skinner: Well, it looks like our model solar-system will finally get an Earth.
Bart: And I've had a proper hardy-har at your expense.
Bart Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Homer: Why do I believe everything I hear in a British accent?
Homer Observational Character Comedy Superintendent Chalmers: He has thrust upon us the motley of the tomfool.
Professor Frink: I wore this all night for nothing?
Homer: Here's $1,000, $2,000, $3,000... Oh, I need more cash. Better go to my invisible ATM.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Homer: What? Two dollar charge for non-network bank? - Oh!
Homer Observational Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Skinner · Chalmers: Really? / Nope. Fooled again.
Superintendent Chalmers: I'd say you're dumb as a post, but at least you can put a sign on a post that says 'fresh strawberries-- one mile.'
Superintendent Chalmers: You are a nitwit in an ill-fitting suit.
Principal Skinner: I'll have you know I'm lop-shouldered.
Principal Skinner: And I have been since I was hung by my armpits in a North Vietnamese prison.
Superintendent Chalmers: Oh, the list of things you don't know could fill a week's worth of morning announcements, with enough left over for a send-home flyer.
Superintendent Chalmers: There's no need for hyperbole, Seymour.
Principal Skinner: As some guy said to some dude with a beard, 'Death to tyrants.'
Principal Skinner: I'm not the history teacher. Anymore.
Willie: I guess there's some stones in your leaf bag after all.
Willie Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Principal Skinner: I'm gonna call that carpet cleaning service and tell them our hallway doesn't count as a room.
Superintendent Chalmers: I know I can superintend-- superintend like the wind-- but teach? It's been years.
Student: Wrong room. We're the Fight Club.
Student Setup/Punchline Observational Superintendent Chalmers: Thank God they never went on to do anything since.
Bart: Same garbage, different Dumpster.
Bart Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Bart: Dollar bill guy, five dollar bill guy, sex guy, Will Ferrell, black guy.
Bart Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Bart: I'd act like I'm interested, but inside I'd be bored.
Bart Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Bart: Aha! I'm mad at you for some reason.
Bart Character Comedy Reaction Beat Bart: I've never said this before, but I'd like to learn more.
Bart Character Comedy Escalation Bart: Man, Teddy Roosevelt killed more Spaniards in one day than most people do in their whole lives.
Bart Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart: Take that, Standard Oil.
Bart Character Comedy Observational Bart: Now, to go home and let TV slowly rot it all away.
Bart Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart: I thought teachers only went outdoors to smoke and cry.
Bart Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Superintendent Chalmers: Son, have you ever seen a horse your father wasn't betting on?
Bart: Well, when horses poop, they don't stop. They just keep walking.
Bart Observational Character Comedy Bart: And here I thought God created all this. Thanks for setting me straight.
Bart Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Bart: You've filled my head with horse poop and atheism. And all these years, I thought I was unteachable.
Bart Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Lisa · Bart: Face on a dime! Face on a mountain!
Grampa: I hated the 'Roosie-velts' and all them family dynasties. The Kennedys, the Bushes, Jon Voigt and Angelina Jolie, Mayor Daley and his smart-ass son, the Daily Show.
Grampa Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Grampa: Well, I like Stephen Colbert, but that's because I don't get the joke.
Grampa Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Milhouse: I love Teddy Roosevelt because he had asthma as a boy.
Nelson: The dude really knew how to rock some jodhpurs.
Nelson Character Comedy Absurdist Jimbo: Does school have to go to summer Jimbo?
Jimbo Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Jimbo: You're in my coal mine now, bitches!
Jimbo Callback Character Comedy Callback Milhouse: But I loved reading It's Cool to Cry!
Nelson: This is all well and good, but I must know: what are spectacles?
Nelson Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Nelson: This place is as beautiful as the side of a Coors beer can. The kind my Dad used to leave in the bathtub.
Nelson Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Superintendent Chalmers: There are no bad fathers in the wilderness, boy.
Superintendent Chalmers: You know, Bart, morning's when I miss my Rosemary the most. She sure looked good in a pair of jammies.
Nelson: Could this be the moment my life starts to turn around? The moment I...
Nelson Setup/Punchline Physical/Slapstick Nelson Character Comedy Reaction Beat Nelson's mother: Got me one of them 'abogados' from the bus ads. He said he'll only take 'veinte por ciento,' whatever that is.
Lawyer: And I am not smiling because I lost the case. Ha-ha! I'm gonna take you for every peso you got.
Lawyer Character Comedy Observational Superintendent Chalmers: How did she know we get paid in pesos?
Superintendent Chalmers: Maybe it is cool to cry.
Bart: My book is missing page 32.
Bart Observational Character Comedy Bart: My desktop is sticky with soda from the kid that had it before me.
Bart Observational Cringe/Discomfort Superintendent Chalmers: Stupid fish! Don't you want to be my din-ner?!
Superintendent Chalmers: I'm not even Kermit Roosevelt.
Bart: How could we be? We're all in the same place and we don't have computers.
Bart Observational Character Comedy Homer: Oh! Marge, my ice cream's melting and I haven't finished my brownie!
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Bart: You guys need to get a woman.
Bart Character Comedy Observational Lisa: There really is a phone in there?
Lisa Reaction Beat Visual Gag Teacher: Don't make us start our weekend early.
Bart: Suit yourself. We all rubbed it with boogers.
Bart Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Principal Skinner: We've got a 30-year mortgage on that photocopier!
Willie: Ye can't just turn her on and off like that!
Bart: Milhouse, take a nap. You know how cranky you get.
Homer · Marge: Are you covering me up?! Yes, I'm afraid we are.
Homer: It's kind of my way of sending a Christmas card. Happy Holidays, everyone! Family's fine!
Homer Character Comedy Observational Chief Wiggum: We don't negotiate with terrorists! Or the people that supply our uniforms and weapons. We just pay whatever they say.
Chief Wiggum: Well, if a group of Muppets can take Manhattan...
Superintendent Chalmers: Fine, fine. You're super-duper-intendent.
Superintendent Chalmers: Nothing but hard feelings, Seymour.
Milhouse: Does it look like I took my nap?
Milhouse Visual Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Superintendent Chalmers: No question: Night at the Museum. One or two? Take your pick, you can't go wrong.
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