Homer befriends a new security guard at the plant; Marge daydreams about being a contestant on "Top Chef."
WAR
45.2
Wins Above Replacement
“The Falcon And The Dohman” ranks #321 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 77.2 — Great. The episode packs 66 scored jokes at 3.8 per minute, averaging 6.8 on craft and 6.5 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Wayne · Homer: I have reoccurring flashbacks to a nightmarish past. That's funny, because I have reoccurring flash-forwards to a nightmarish future.
Wayne Homer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Yeah, they couldn't find a Google map photo without me naked or urinating
Homer Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Wayne: Nobody held my space when I was in a North Korean prison being forced to write a musical about Kim Jung Il with a car battery hooked up to my nipples!
Wayne Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Wayne: I left that out in a bowl and he ate them
Wayne Character Comedy Absurdist Ned: I started drinking orange juice with pulp. I asked the Reverend, and he said it was okay. Then he hung right up on me. That man is cranky at 3:00 in the morning.
Ned Escalation Character Comedy All Jokes — 66 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Matt Groening: Tonight we reveal to you the fate of Nedna. I have devoted my summer to a more meaningful task salvaging Mr. Popper's Penguins online.
Matt Groening: like a bread crumb lodged inside my stomach crease
Homer: Sneaking in at noon / Just in time for my lunch break
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: I'm still drunk from last night / Got driven home / I don't know by whom
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Homer: Some may say / I don't deserve any pay / But hey / I came up with '60s Day / Last May
Homer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Homer: While I'm here, I might as well pre-punch out
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Homer: Larry, my man! Hey, you're not Larry. How come you're not Larry?
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: The warmth of human contact with a manly whiff of violence
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Homer: Uh, by the way, that's my 'he's.'
Homer Observational Meta/Self-Referential Lenny: Crazy house. Violent ward.
Lenny Deadpan/Understatement Homer Reaction Beat Character Comedy Homer · Wayne: I couldn't help but notice that your breath doesn't smell like alcohol
Homer: As God as my witness, this fist will be bumped!
Homer Escalation Character Comedy TV Host: Marge, your ratio of peanut butter to cracker was spot on
TV Host: For your prize, you have won a brand-new kitchen, which I will now become
Bart: You know I hate surprises. You tricked us. I like routine. I like routine.
Bart Character Comedy Escalation Homer: I guess it's not much when you look at real problems in the world, like Major League umpires not using instant replay
Homer Misdirection Character Comedy Charlie: No, I was tipsy last night when a telephone survey called, so I told them to call back tonight for more accurate answers
Charlie Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Homer: Look, I'm not weird or anything, I just like to feel like I'm friends with everybody
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Wayne: Oh! and I don't want you calling me at home and saying 'Turn on channel six.'
Wayne Observational Character Comedy Homer: But what if the weather girl...
Homer Reaction Beat Character Comedy Homer: We're completing each other's... Completing each other's... sen... ten... ces...
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Moe: Just, uh, lining up all the presidents, nice and neat
Moe Character Comedy Observational Robber: Thanks for the upgrade.
Wayne: Well, we all know what we're doing. The question is, is it an appropriate reaction to the situation?
Wayne Deadpan/Understatement Observational Robber: Drunks are so boring.
Moe: My fresco! That's coming out of your stealings!
Moe Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Wayne: Oh, speaking of which, let's get these eggs back in a jar
Moe: Wow, that's the farthest that one of my eggs ever made it down someone's throat
Moe Cringe/Discomfort Observational Marge: Which actually comes up about once a week
Marge Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Wayne: Special training. The kind they're not allowed to give anymore
Wayne Dark/Subversive Misdirection Ned: I started drinking orange juice with pulp. I asked the Reverend, and he said it was okay. Then he hung right up on me. That man is cranky at 3:00 in the morning.
Ned Escalation Character Comedy TV Announcer: as seen in this Taiwanese animated dramatization
Mr. Burns: Thanks to you, Wayne, we did not lose the visible half of the moon
Mr. Burns: I'm afraid that protocol demands that I totally erase your memory
Wayne: Die, you fascist bastard! Mother, is that you?
Wayne Escalation Dark/Subversive Mr. Burns: I expect insolence, but rank insolence? Off with his job!
Wayne · Homer: I have reoccurring flashbacks to a nightmarish past. That's funny, because I have reoccurring flash-forwards to a nightmarish future.
Wayne Homer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: He said it. Or, uh, maybe it was him. Man, this robot really gets me.
Homer Reaction Beat Character Comedy Lisa: Your voice is so gravelly, just like Lauren Bacall's
Lisa Observational Character Comedy Wayne: If you move that little top hat to St. James Place, we'll all be blown to kingdom come!
Homer: Yeah, they couldn't find a Google map photo without me naked or urinating
Homer Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Homer: And when there was a mapmaker's convention here, they all got Lou Gehrig's disease. Not the one you're thinking of-- there's another one.
Bart: I admit it! I let Milhouse lie down in your bed!
Bart Escalation Character Comedy Bart: Remember everything they say, and tell us later in rattle code
Bart Character Comedy Absurdist Wayne · Bart: If I told you, I'd have to kill you. Can I tell you?
Lunch Lady · Principal: We can't keep serving the same thing every day. These kids have mashed potatoes coming out of their ears. Point taken.
Wayne: This is the real world? Hallelujah! I'm still alive!
Wayne Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Wayne: Ha-ha! And I'll appreciate every moment! Except the ones that aren't as good as they used to be. Which is all of them. Oh, someone kill me.
Wayne Escalation Dark/Subversive Auto-tuned Person: ♪ Hiding in the basement / And I'm, like, where's the cat? / Where's, where's the cat? ♪
Viktor: You want to give it zero stars? No! We will go to... Springfield, America, and kill this man.
Viktor: I see you are tight like borscht and beets
Viktor Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Homer: No! Not the middle seat!
Homer Observational Escalation Homer · Viktor: What will you guys use when there aren't newspapers anymore? Perhaps we will be living in a world where there'll be no need to kidnap.
Homer: Oh, look-- here's a coupon for scissors that you have to cut out! Thanks, geniuses!
Homer Observational Irony/Sarcasm Homer: This is no way to treat the talent
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Small Girl: I told you the bedspread smells funny
Wayne: I left that out in a bowl and he ate them
Wayne Character Comedy Absurdist Olympic Skater: Aah! I won a silver medal in Nagano-- ow!-- and now this!
Homer: Stop it! Just let me put my hands under your armpits
Homer Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Homer: You ever eat on a train, Marge? What they call a steak is barely a hamburger.
Homer Observational Misdirection Wayne: Nobody held my space when I was in a North Korean prison being forced to write a musical about Kim Jung Il with a car battery hooked up to my nipples!
Wayne Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Wayne: Nobody held my space when I was in a North Korean prison being forced to write a musical about Kim Jung Il with a car battery hooked up to my nipples!
Wayne Escalation Dark/Subversive North Korean: ♪ 'K' is Korea, just the north part / 'I' is for the Internet he bans ♪
Principal Skinner: how come I wasn't an option in this contest?
Wayne: Shh! Shush me again, and I'll take your head clean off.
Wayne Escalation Character Comedy Top Episodes — The Simpsons
