A boulder traps Homer's arm when he takes a drive through a canyon; a spider bite paralyzes Homer; Flanders becomes a vigilante by night; Bart and Milhouse travel to a distant planet to obtain an extract.
WAR
43.4
Wins Above Replacement
“Treehouse Of Horror Xxii” ranks #320 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 77.4 — Great. The episode packs 56 scored jokes at 3.6 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: Although if it requires months of difficult physical therapy, I'll pass.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Bart: Can his funeral be on a school day?
Bart Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Homer: I'm not gonna swallow, 'cause I want to save room for candy.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Doctor: He's got the proportionate strength of a paralyzed spider!
Doctor Wordplay/Pun Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Ned: Hell! Damn! Backside!
Ned Character Comedy Escalation All Jokes — 56 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Marge: Your mother is the switch witch... a sort of tooth fairy dealie. I take your sugary sweets and I give you healthy items. Plain brown toothbrushes, flavored dental floss and fun-sized mouthwashes... TSA approved.
Marge Absurdist Observational ★ Rewatch Marge: and fun-sized mouthwashes... TSA approved.
Marge Observational Absurdist ★ Rewatch Bart: This is exactly why kids need a union.
Bart Observational Character Comedy Marge · Homer: The switch witch is me. You know, on some level, I've always known.
Homer: I've got candy, skip to my Lou / My insulin will spike, that's what it's gonna do / I'm gonna buy me some diabetic shoes / Skip to my Lou my...
Homer Wordplay/Pun Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Homer: Hello, 911? I need a helicopter rescue and some cold milk.
Homer: The only sane thing to do is chew off my arm.
Homer Absurdist Dark/Subversive Homer: I'm not gonna swallow, 'cause I want to save room for candy.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: I'm really getting the hang of this.
Homer Absurdist Deadpan/Understatement Bart: Can his funeral be on a school day?
Bart Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Lisa: This is so horrible. I can't speak!
Lisa Irony/Sarcasm Wordplay/Pun Homer: So far, a normal Sunday morning.
Homer Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Homer: Ah, Halloween. The one time of year when the squalor of our home works to our advantage.
Homer Observational ★ Rewatch Homer: A real spider would get so mad if I did this. I wonder if this thing has batteries.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Homer: Hmm. Well, at least I still look good. Okay, handsome, that's enough primping.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer: Oh, my God. She's still on the first sentence! Must make her stop.
Homer Observational Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Bart: Can you pass gas at will? Fart once for no, twice for yes.
Bart Absurdist Character Comedy Homer: D, E, A... Dearest Marge, though my body cannot move, my heart still beats and my brain still brains.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Homer: Although if it requires months of difficult physical therapy, I'll pass.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Homer: more than my butt can say
Homer Wordplay/Pun Callback Callback Doctor: He's got the proportionate strength of a paralyzed spider!
Doctor Wordplay/Pun Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Doctor: Forget paying for my kid's operation... I'm out of here!
Doctor Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Marge: They say no two ass-webs are the same. Beautiful in its way.
Marge Wordplay/Pun Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Ned: Springfield, my hometown. Pretty little place. Although, even the Garden of Eden could use a nice cleansing rain now and then.
Ned Dark/Subversive Misdirection ★ Rewatch Patty/Selma: Well, those who can't do, teach.
God: Slay Montgomery Burns and pee in his ashes!
God Dark/Subversive Absurdist God: If you're having trouble with the second part, drink a lot of water. Now I've got to go. A hip-hop star is thanking me at the VMAs.
God Absurdist Observational God: It's like a chigga-chigga-chigga-chigga. But you only hear it when you're driving over 30. And you never hear it when you take it to the shop. Then it sounds perfect.
God Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart: Come on! God does crazy things! Check your Old Testament.
Bart Meta/Self-Referential Observational Ned: Hell! Damn! Backside!
Ned Character Comedy Escalation Homer: There is no Hell, and there is no God. If there were, would He let me do this?
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Physical/Slapstick Devil Absurdist Character Comedy God: Could this get any worse?
God Setup/Punchline Visual Gag Ralph · Krusty: Are we in Kansas anymore? No. Well, are we in Nebraska? No! We are not in any state! Oh, oh, is it Michigan?
Krusty: Gotta play a Nazi party rally. Oh, yeah, they're back.
Krusty Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Bart: Whoa! Check out this bitchin' bod!
Bart Character Comedy Visual Gag Bullies: These avatars cost $80 billion each. But your human body costs nothing.
Bullies Observational Dark/Subversive Lisa: That's a Japanese outlet, Bart. You need an adapter.
Lisa Observational Absurdist ★ Rewatch Alien Taxi: Where you go? Where you go? No meter, is cheaper, yeah? Suit yourself, you one-eyed bastard.
Kamala: You don't have to yell! I am not yelling! This is my seductive voice!
Kamala Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Kamala: Now you've murdered our brothers, the flowers! Stupid! Stupid! Now you're having sex with Uncle Tree!
Kamala · Bart: And now let us touch testicles and mate for life. Don't you mean tentacles? I know what I said!
Kamala: It was serviceable!
Kamala Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Bart: It's a place on the other side of this planet that's very rainy so you can only see one moon. You know, like Portland.
Bart Misdirection Observational Kamala: But on Rigel Seven, lack of eye contact and too many details indicate the telling of truth.
Kamala Irony/Sarcasm Observational ★ Rewatch Kamala's father: Feel the wonder of one million fetuses!
Kamala: That only keeps me from giving birth while we are having sex.
Kamala Absurdist Cringe/Discomfort Kamala's father: Unfortunately our environment is too hostile to grow pickles. And the only flavor ice cream we have is butter brickle. To repeat: no pickles, butter brickle.
Krusty · Other alien: Let's fry these calamari and dip 'em in a sauce made of their own blood! And wine from their own grapes. That's not so bad. It's a little bad.
Kamala · Bart: We have no tanks. Our planet will protect us. Oh, man, you sound like my art teacher. Look a little like her, too.
Bart: And I got them from Milhouse.
Bart Cringe/Discomfort Callback Bart · Skinner: Yo, Colonel! Uh, you've got some schmutz on your cheek. Where? Here? Skinner...!
Kamala's father: Had they asked for the Hilarium, we would simply have given it to them. In Rigelian there is no word for 'yours' or 'mine.' That's the reason we didn't enjoy the movie Yours, Mine and Ours.
News anchor: Knitting one sweater for someone costs 27 Americans their jobs.
News anchor: Christmas is a wonderful time to take up alcoholism. Come on, you see your family all year round. The holidays are for your bartender.
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