When Marge tries to buy Homer snack cakes for their anniversary, she winds up meeting a married man who shares a common love of British Television. Ignorant of all, Homer attempts to secretly construct a romantic anniversary train in the Simpsons back yard.
WAR
48.4
Wins Above Replacement
“Dangers On A Train” ranks #293 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 78.0 — Elite. The episode packs 57 scored jokes at 2.9 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.7 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: Just call me Borders Books, 'cause I'll always be here.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Observational ★ Rewatch Marge: He says shows set during World War I are too sad. Particularly how everyone's always climbing stairs.
Marge Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: I've only had three great ideas-- marrying your mother, using a hot dog as a straw and this romantic train ride anniversary.
Homer Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: How stupid are you? Hey, thinking is your department, jerk. That's what I pay you in beer for.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Kids: Hey, lardo, where you going in your lardo car? Lardville? There's no such place!
Kids Escalation Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 57 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Marge: In your face, people who said it wouldn't last a year!
Homer: I stand by my wedding toast.
Homer Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Marge: Accidental motherhood is the greatest thing that can happen to a woman.
Bart: Oops, better clean that off.
Bart Visual Gag Character Comedy Homer: Wish I could get a little of that attention.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Flanders: Don't mean to be a pesto, but I'll be happy to watch your scampi shrimp.
Flanders Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Maggie: Daddy. He's not your daddy. Nice daddy. Moustache daddy. Good daddy no yell. Fat daddy smell like beer.
Maggie Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Marge: Oh, Homer, you're the anchor store of my heart.
Marge Observational Character Comedy Homer: Just call me Borders Books, 'cause I'll always be here.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Observational ★ Rewatch Nelson Reaction Beat Character Comedy Homer: Sometimes you have to say to hell with rules.
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Lisa: Wait, you named me after a train?
Lisa Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Yeah, just like we did with Bart.
Dispensary worker: Medical marijuana dispensary interaction
Homer: I've only had three great ideas-- marrying your mother, using a hot dog as a straw and this romantic train ride anniversary.
Homer Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Nelson: Hey, babies-- where you going in your baby train? Babytown?
Nelson Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Kids: Hey, lardo, where you going in your lardo car? Lardville? There's no such place!
Kids Escalation Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Lisa: That's Mozart, dummy.
Lisa Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Patty: Yeah, what size cuff links do you get an elephant?
Patty Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Selma: Well, in the first place, the elephant's cuff links would be the same size. It's the cuffs that would be bigger.
Selma Deadpan/Understatement Absurdist ★ Rewatch Website: Sassy Madison is a dating site for married people who are tired of the same old dessert.
Website: It's not cheating if you don't know the person well.
Website Irony/Sarcasm Dark/Subversive Selma: And this town's got losers like Mexico has headless corpses.
Selma Dark/Subversive Observational Selma: Maybe I should get married so I can date these guys.
Selma Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Marge: Are you watching the commercial again?
Marge Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer: I'm a fan of animation.
Homer Deadpan/Understatement Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Homer: 'Laser.' That's a funny word. It's just 'loser' with an 'A.'
Homer Wordplay/Pun Observational ★ Rewatch Homer: And speaking of losers, I lost my train of thought.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Escalation Marge: He remembers the exact number of pork chops in the freezer. Currently-- zero.
Marge Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Homer: Oh, good, the strippers are here. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah! That is all coming off.
Homer Misdirection Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Homer: Hey, those Yelp reviews don't write themselves.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Homer: Did you know a well-placed one star can destroy a mom-and-pop hardware in nothing flat?
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Homer: How stupid are you? Hey, thinking is your department, jerk. That's what I pay you in beer for.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Ben: 'A' is for 'apple,' right?
Ben Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Marge: Nothing turns leftovers into swans like aluminum.
Marge Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Marge: What the heck am I saying?
Marge Meta/Self-Referential Reaction Beat Callback Marge: Homer's probably at that bar right now, getting hammered.
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Visual Gag Marge: He says shows set during World War I are too sad. Particularly how everyone's always climbing stairs.
Marge Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Moe: Save that sugar for your coffee, bub.
Homer: Because it's in the public domain.
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Observational ★ Rewatch Homer · Moe: Why the hell are you calling me at home, you moron?! / Lovejoy went to get a hamburger, and the whole thing fell apart!
Lisa: Mom, Bart's twisting facts in an Orwellian fashion.
Lisa Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Lisa · Bart: Orwell, obscure? The author of Animal Farm? / Grampa says he was a Commie.
Ben's wife: Come on, Taser that flamingo!
Upton Rectory character: Once again, India is denuded of her treasure by the imperialist devils.
Ben · Ben's wife: Why do we watch this show? / Because I like the costumes!
Kids: Three kids with no money, but plenty of love!
Kids Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Moe: Yeah. I sell 'em on the Internet for like-minded people.
Ramona: When does it get better? When he's 800 pounds and has to be cut out of the house to go to a movie?
Ramona Dark/Subversive Escalation Comic Book Guy: I lost my cleaning stick in my belly fat. But I found a kitten.
Ben: Whoa, you really went all in with this guy, didn't you?
Ben Observational Character Comedy Homer: Happy moment derailed by the Bipolar Express.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Homer: My marathon time isn't 4:26; it's never,
Homer: and I once pushed a kid off a swing and he broke his wrist or something.
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Homer: I often go online to see how Lindsay Wagner's looking now-- fabulous--
Homer Character Comedy Observational Song: Three awesome kids and a life of regret
Song Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm Grampa: Down by the old, Not the new, but the old... Mill stream, Not the river, but the stream...
Grampa Character Comedy Escalation Top Episodes — The Simpsons
