When Flanders' parents prove to prefer Homer's company to his, he jealously responds by giving Homer a shiner, and then tries desperately to reconcile with him. Meanwhile, Lisa is at a loss to understand why a new substitute teacher is bullying her for no obvious reason.
WAR
45.5
Wins Above Replacement
“Black Eyed Please” ranks #246 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 79.1 — Elite. The episode packs 52 scored jokes at 3.1 per minute, averaging 7.1 on craft and 6.7 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Ned: Never get into Heaven. Took harp lessons for nothing.
Ned Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Hell Ned: Hey-diddly hell-diddly, Welcome neighborino
Hell Ned Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Abraham Simpson: What? This isn't Sweden? And I'm not King Olaf? Oh, I got some explaining to do down at the bank.
Ned: My mustache fell out; this is a clip-on.
Ned Character Comedy Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Principal Skinner: Look, kids can be cruel, Dick. Ha-ha! We don't know when we've gone too far!
All Jokes — 52 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick ★ Rewatch Elderly Residents: Bathroom break! I spilled my pills! Music today has no melody! Everybody out!
Principal Skinner: Children, you can stop writing letters of support to our troops; that was just busywork.
Principal Skinner: Not to worry, she has been treated with heavy doses of... Lorazepam and other drugs from the... Benzodiazepine family.
Principal Skinner: Lisa, without corporate sponsorship, we wouldn't be able to teach you the three R's: reading, refreshment and Raspberry Buzz Lite. Get your razz on!
Lisa: She's brought her own orrery! And it's got no Pluto! How cutting edge.
Lisa Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Principal Skinner: Do not call her by the obvious dirty nickname. Now I must meet with the new art teacher, Mr. Testacleese.
Ms. Cantwell: Get back in your seat. If I have any apples that need polishing, I'll let you know.
Ralph: If I can't remember the right letter, I just put an 'A.'
Ralph Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Ms. Cantwell: 'B.' As in, 'because I say so.'
Marge · Lisa: I thought you might be cold, honey, so I put this chinchilla coat on you. Fur?! It's not really chinchilla. I just thought she needed more sleep.
Marge Lisa Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Nedward (Ned's father): Hey, hey, Homer J. How many beers did you kill today?
Nedward: Son, you are the Mayor of Dullsville.
Nedward Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Capri (Ned's mother) · Ned: Hello, police? I'd like to report a buzz-kill in progress. There's no emergency here. And please charge us for the false report.
Lisa: I'm hop-scotching from paragraph to paragraph, climbing the monkey bars of plot and theme.
Lisa Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Lisa: Please keep them together. If not for me, for the mother.
Lisa Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Capri: Six miles, and I'm all smiles.
Capri Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Homer: Look at the size of that bird. I'd go Henry VIII on those drumsticks.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Ned · Homer: Homer, I can't believe you're partaking with my parents. Yeah, it's medicinal. We had a pain in our neck.
Homer: But the storytelling is finally catching up to the technology.
Homer Observational Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Ned: My mustache fell out; this is a clip-on.
Ned Character Comedy Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Homer · Ned: What about Christian Archie comics? Neither canonical nor comical.
Homer Ned Wordplay/Pun Observational ★ Rewatch Homer: Hail Superman, wearing tights, Clark Kent be thy name, one nation, under Zod...
Homer Setup/Punchline Observational ★ Rewatch Marge: I never made that noise in my life!
Marge Reaction Beat Character Comedy Homer · Marge: Thanks, Flanders. Punch my eye, destroy my marriage. Now just pull the plug and let me die! That's the plug for the light.
Ned: Please don't use that word in bed.
Ned Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Hell Ned: Hey-diddly hell-diddly, Welcome neighborino
Hell Ned Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Hell Ned: Down here, we worship famous atheist Richard Dawkins, author of The God Delusion!
Hell Ned Dark/Subversive Observational ★ Rewatch Hell Marge: I'm making Catholic saint stew.
Hell Marge Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Lisa: More than I want unicorns to be real.
Lisa Character Comedy Observational Principal Skinner: Look, kids can be cruel, Dick. Ha-ha! We don't know when we've gone too far!
Ms. Cantwell: Look who's on the Ferris wheel. Your precious joeys!
Ms. Cantwell: Here's the new deal: you fail!
Abraham Simpson: What? This isn't Sweden? And I'm not King Olaf? Oh, I got some explaining to do down at the bank.
Principal Skinner: Quiet, nerd!
Homer · Marge: There's this guy at my plant, caused three meltdowns, and he still keeps his job. Homer, that's you.
Homer Marge Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Ned: Jeepers creepers, pop my peeper!
Ned Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Ned: I'm insisting on a fisting.
Ned Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer: Better man, coming through! Way better-better-better! Way better-better-better!
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Ned: I didn't know you were left-handed.
Ned Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Marge: I didn't know you were left-handed.
Marge Callback Deadpan/Understatement Callback Lisa: Every rap sheet has a first line.
Lisa Character Comedy Observational Detention Student: What are you in for, murdering Chopin?
Detention Students: That means all of us can be teachers. Boo-yah! I'm gonna buy me a Hyundai Elantra!
Witness: I saw the whole thing! That innocent fly flew from that fresh pile of dog feces right into that monster's mouth!
Ned: Never get into Heaven. Took harp lessons for nothing.
Ned Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Ned: How much plutonium do you want? Got to warn you, it might take me 20 minutes to get it.
Ned Character Comedy Absurdist Edna: Right. I can't be around him 'cause he's so delicious.
Edna Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Ms. Cantwell: You two are the worst-dressed gay men I've ever met.
Lisa: She hates me because I'm pretty!
Lisa Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Lisa: She hates me because I'm pretty!
Lisa Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Top Episodes — The Simpsons
