During the annual Jellyfish Festival, Ned Flanders realizes that he is lonely and becomes depressed. One night, he meets a beautiful woman, who asks him out on a date. He soon learns that the woman is Sara Sloan, a famous actress. Sloan is charmed by Flanders' wholesomeness, and they continue to date to the point at which she asks that he move to Hollywood. Flanders, worried that Hollywood would conflict with his conservative Christian values, refuses, so Sloan instead decides to stay in Springfield. However, their relationship does not work out, due to his insistence on marriage.
WAR
30.8
Wins Above Replacement
“A Star Is Born Again” ranks #520 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 70.4 — Solid. The episode packs 78 scored jokes at 3.8 per minute, averaging 6.8 on craft and 6.0 on impact, with Ned landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: But then part of her died and she doesn't try any more. So we're all where we wanna be.
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Chief Wiggum · Sarah: Sarah, you're as lovely as the day I first arrested you. Oh, Clancy, ha, ha. You know, I planted that crystal meth just to meet you. I was so shy.
Helen Fielding: Besides, most Americans can't understand...the sophisticated subtlety of British humor. I bid you good day. [THEME FROM 'THE BENNY HILL SHOW' PLAYING]
Ned: Happily married to a dead woman.
Ned Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Sea Captain · Moe: Are you hitting on me? Because I don't do that...on land.
All Jokes — 78 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Marge · Homer: Hold your horses. I was up all night fishing out the drawstring...from your father's swimsuit. It came out again.
Lisa: Well, I'm all set. I'm gonna be following the latest designs...from Modern Sandcastle Magazine.
Lisa Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Marge · Homer: I think she needs a diaper change. Well, it ain't happening today.
News Anchor: For each year, on the third Tuesday of May sweeps...we witness the return of the stinging red jellyfish.
News Anchor: What a sight. It happens every year...like the swallows returning to Capistrano. Or the Fox network getting a new president.
Ralph: I made a new friend. [RALPH YELLS THEN GROANS]
Ralph Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Ralph: I'm going to Africa...to see lions and giraffes and monkeys and Santa and gorillas and ...
Ralph Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Chief Wiggum · Lou: Now we know it just makes things a lot worse. - Like laser eye surgery? - Exactly.
Principal Skinner · Agnes: Maybe we can have this band play at our wedding. I was hoping we could use this audio cassette.
Chief Wiggum · Sarah: Sarah, you're as lovely as the day I first arrested you. Oh, Clancy, ha, ha. You know, I planted that crystal meth just to meet you. I was so shy.
Sea Captain · Moe: Are you hitting on me? Because I don't do that...on land.
Moe: Well, guess I might as well head back to my store. I got a date with some twins, the state and federal tax forms.
Moe Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Marge: There's the Tongue Kissing Festival, Cinco de Ocho, the Hobo Oscars. Days just made for lovers. Not widowers, lovers.
Marge Absurdist Observational ★ Rewatch Ned: Happily married to a dead woman.
Ned Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Ned: Open as a tomb on Easter.
Ned Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Ned: I gave up on L.A. when those TV people made that poor nun fly. All those Puerto Ricans looking up her dress. That's not right.
Ned Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Ned: You're the most important person in the world because you're my customer.
Ned Character Comedy Observational Ned · Sara: I'm as real as the nose on your face. Yeah. Real. [CLANGS] Well, it looks good. And it sounds pretty too.
Ned Sara Visual Gag Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Ned: A woman asking a man out? Well. Well, why not? And maybe I'll eat my steak with a spoon.
Ned Character Comedy Observational Sara: Call me. I'm staying at the Springfield Four Seasons. [WHISPERS] Ask for Zelda Fitzgerald.
Sara Observational Character Comedy Ned: What the--? That's a pseu-diddilyeudonym.
Ned Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Ned · Homer: I've got a date with a movie star? Sure you do. And I'm going apple picking with Scooby-Doo.
Ned Homer Setup/Punchline Deadpan/Understatement Homer: Flanders. Can't a man just drink alone on a Wednesday morning?
Homer Character Comedy Observational Homer: Let me guess. Skinner's mother? She sure knows how to swing it.
Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Ned · Homer: Why would that Twinkie wanna go out with a Ding Dong like me? Flanders, I mix Twinkies and Ding Dongs all the time. In Europe, they call it a Dinkie.
Ned: I'm no Arthur Miller or Lyle Lovett.
Ned Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Ned: I'm no Arthur Miller or Lyle Lovett.
Ned Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: But then part of her died and she doesn't try any more. So we're all where we wanna be.
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Fan: Oh, man, this is going right on eBay. I mean, my wall, which I will sell on eBay.
Fan Observational Escalation Fan: Oh, oh, can I just push this plastic cast onto one of your boobs?
Fan Cringe/Discomfort Escalation Ned: Rod says 'Marco.' And darn it if Todd doesn't say 'Polo' right back.
Ned Character Comedy Observational Sara: All they wanna talk about is their Botox, their Tae Bo or their Xbox.
Sara Observational Wordplay/Pun Ned: Heaven's gate. I'm gonna be tasting you on my moustache for a week. Wanna try for a month?
Ned Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer: Well, yeah. She's had more stars on her than Lisa's homework.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Observational ★ Rewatch Homer: Hello. Yes, I'm Ned Flanders' close personal friend. That's right. Hot and heavy. They've never been happier. Oh, yeah, she does look pregnant.
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Sara · Todd: You guys are jamming. Ah! Daddy, she swore.
Ned: Ha, ha, yup. We occupy that useless mass of land...between Los Angeles and New York called America.
Ned Observational Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Tabloid Reporters: Are you sleeping with Sara Sloane? - Is that moustache real? Do you plan to kill Sara like your last wife?
Sara: Your carpeted floor feels good on my toes.
Sara Observational Character Comedy Ned: This movie is turning into Sponge Bob No Pants.
Ned Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Ned · Director: Katharine Hepburn never showed her breasts. - There's still time.
Ned: All we gotta do is turn that woman into a fella...and that kiss into a game of Scrabble.
Ned Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Sara: Thanks. I grew really close to the actress who played my daughter. I think she's in France or something.
Sara Observational Deadpan/Understatement Chief Wiggum · Lou: I haven't felt this good since we stole the 2000 election. Hey, don't blame me. I voted for the green M&M.
Moe: Uh, number one: Sara, is it true you shoplifted a kayak?
Moe Absurdist Observational Ned: I'll have you know she pays full price for her watercraft.
Ned Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Rainier Wolfcastle: If tears could burst through my muscular ducts...I would cry like a baby who was just hit by a hammer.
Rainier: Oh, come on. No one misses a handshake that badly.
Rainier Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Rainier: Oh, come on. No one misses a handshake that badly.
Rainier: Exact-a-tically-tacally.
Rainier Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Callback Ned: I won't even eat vegetables over 2 inches long.
Ned Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Ned: I guess you'll be heading out on the first bus to the airport. If you ride with a friend, you can save 20 bucks.
Ned Character Comedy Observational James L. Brooks · Ned: Ned, I'm James L. Brooks. - Oh, can I call you Jim? James L. Brooks is good.
Rod · Todd · Ned: Hey, daddy baby. - We're movie producers now. - And we're Jewish. ROD & TODD: Yay! [SCREAMS]
Rod Todd Ned Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Ned: Heck, even Dollywood's too far out for me. Too many people appreciating it ironically.
Ned Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Police Officer: Problem is I can't seem to get an agent. Ha. Could you give your girlfriend my headshot?
Ned: Sure is nice to be shopping for a woman again. Last thing I bought for a lady was a casket.
Ned Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Ned · Fan: Wait a minute. This is to adopt two of your kids. Oh, so it is. I've already dumped three on Mia Farrow. Sucker.
Ned Fan Dark/Subversive Escalation Marge: Lisa, Springfield isn't a cultural wasteland. Part of Stroker Ace was filmed at our airport.
Marge Observational Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Moe · Homer: Sara Sloane to attend girl-on-girl book club. Ho-ho, Moe, you lovable loser. You just made yourself $5. Whoo-hoo!
Book Club Members: Now, let's go around the room and analyze why we didn't read it. - Cramps. - All my friends are dead.
Helen Fielding: Besides, most Americans can't understand...the sophisticated subtlety of British humor. I bid you good day. [THEME FROM 'THE BENNY HILL SHOW' PLAYING]
Ned: Sweetie, that's not the kind of dress you wear outdoors or indoors...or in a dirty dream.
Ned Escalation Character Comedy Ned: Well, Siegfried and Roy create a lot of illusions...but I doubt their girlfriends dress like that.
Ned Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Agnes · Skinner: That's disgusting. Don't look, Seymour. - I'm a veteran, Mother. - A veteran bed wetter.
Homer: [HOMER GRUNTING AND CHANTING] Ah. Ch! Ah. Ch! Ah. Ch! Ah.
Homer Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Ned: Uh, well, that's, uh, a mighty big kettle of, uh...premarital, uh, doodly. Ha, ha.
Ned Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Ned: This is quite a dil-diddly-lemma.
Ned Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Callback Ned: I mean, who will buy the cow when you get the milk for free? You know, the cow being me.
Ned Character Comedy Observational Ned: It says a man should make restitution if he eats his neighbor's grain.
Ned Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Sara: That made me completely forget about Bob Balaban.
Sara Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Ned: That's right. I'm like Baskin-Robbins. You get one free taste, then you gotta buy the scoop.
Ned Observational Character Comedy Ned: But unlike the Bible, I guess this ain't gonna have a happy ending.
Ned Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Ned: Oh, darn the luck. That sounds like the Lupus Fun Run.
Ned Observational Character Comedy News Anchor · Ned: This was followed three hours later by a quickie divorce. Ah. I bet we would have lasted twice that long.
Comic Book Guy: Hey, Hollywood, call me. My number's on the bench.
Ned: It's the darnedest thing. Women love you when you've dated a movie star.
Ned Observational Character Comedy Top Episodes — The Simpsons
