Lisa enters a tap dancing academy, where the teacher is a child star who never quite grew up. Meanwhile, Homer gets laser eye surgery.
WAR
39.3
Wins Above Replacement
“Last Tap Dance In Springfield” ranks #496 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 71.8 — Solid. The episode packs 65 scored jokes at 3.1 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.3 on impact, with Little Vicki landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Little Vicki: I once destroyed Buddy Ebsen's credit rating. / Why? / He knows why.
Bart: [Grunts] I'm in tantrum position. T-minus 5, 4, 3- Remembering dead cat for real tears, and-
Bart Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Little Vicki: And I didn't tap all those Morse code messages to the Allies... till my shoes filled with blood... just to roll out the welcome mat for the Reds.
Bart: Tantrum averted. But now I can't forget the cat. [Weeping]
Bart Callback Character Comedy Callback Little Vicki · Class: I'm sorry, Lisa, but giving everyone an equal part... when they're clearly not equal is called what again, class? / Communism! / That's right.
All Jokes — 65 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer Physical/Slapstick Running Gag Marge · Homer: Homer, sitting that close to the TV can't be good for you. / Talking while the TV's on can't be good for you.
Homer: Nah. I wanna enjoy this show before the network retools it.
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Observational ★ Rewatch TV Show Characters · Homer: How can I organize this modeling agency... and still be a good single father? - I love you, Daddy. - [Audience] Aww! [Groans] Too late!
Bart · Marge: Just get me a deck of cards and I'll win whatever I need from the other kids. / But you need to try things on. Every brand has a different idea of 'husky.'
Bart: [Grunts] I'm in tantrum position. T-minus 5, 4, 3- Remembering dead cat for real tears, and-
Bart Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Bart: Tantrum averted. But now I can't forget the cat. [Weeping]
Bart Callback Character Comedy Callback Eye Doctor · Homer: Now read the first line. / I... ate... pee-pee. [Laughing]
Optometrist · Homer: That pair's popular with celebrities like Val Kilmer. / Ooh! My favorite Door. / And Yoko Ono. / Ew! She ruined the Plastic Ono Band.
Homer: Less yappin', more zappin'.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Marge: Blair Witch repellent, antler saw and deep-woods Scrabble
Marge Absurdist Observational Eye Doctor · Homer: Wait. You gotta use these drops. They prevent your eyes from crusting over. / Oh, here we go with the add-ons. No, thanks.
Lisa: Oh, he'll never dance with her. She'll have to settle for some Mexican Milhouse.
Lisa Character Comedy Observational Movie Character · Lisa: My name is... Lisabella. / [Gasps] That's my name with 'bella' on the end of it.
Movie Character: Qué malo. Once again, I must sugar my own churro.
Movie Character: Only one man was crazy enough to dance that dance, and he is dead. / My twin brother, Freduardo. / But where he died, I shall live- in his apartment.
Movie Characters: You are now carrying my child. / But how? / It is the mystery of the dance.
Homer · Bart: [Imitating Marge] Now, Homie, when we get to the liquor store... buy me some Jack Daniels and a carton of smokes. / Yes, dear. [Both Snickering]
Lisa · Marge: Well, I think World War II helped a little, Mom. / Don't smart-mouth, Lisa.
Little Vicki · Marge: I'm just plain Vicki now. / All right. I'd like to sign my daughter up for lessons, Vicki. / Little Vicki. / But you just said- / So what dance style were you interested in?
Ballroom Dancers · Seymour: [Cracks] Ow! You stepped on my toes again! / If you would just let me lead- / You're not a leader, Seymour. Never have been, never will be. / Oh!
Square Dancer: [Rhythmically] Oh, the birdie in the cage out, lady in the center. Now the birdie is purty and the crows hop in. Put the feather all together, hell-bent for leather. Put your honey in the saddle-
Little Vicki · Marge: Little advice, don't live through your child. / Okay.
Bart · Bully · Milhouse: This is gonna be the best week of our young lives. / I'm gonna pound you two all week. / Oh. What'd we do? / Nothin'. But I gotta pound somebody.
Milhouse: I don't wanna go home. My grandma's sleeping in my bed, and she has skin like a basketball.
Bart · Milhouse: Yeah. It's just like my dad always says: For an evening or a week, there's no place like the mall. Food, fun and fashion- the mall has it all. / What? What did he say?
Ralph · Little Vicki: Teacher, my shoes are making noise. / You must be Ralph. / My daddy shoots people. [Grunts]
Little Vicki · Lisa · Class: Wait a minute. Somebody's off the beat. Let me hear you two. [tapping] Okay, now you. [Lisa taps badly] Whoa. [Shouts] / [All Laughing] / Children, stop it. / For all you know, she has a medical condition. / Nope. / I see. [Groans]
Milhouse · Bart: Where are we goin'? / Quiet. Just keep scurrying. [Screaming, Grunting] / Worms! / Gold! / Wait, this is just chocolate. Chocolate! / And these are gummy worms. Gummy! / Warheads. Jelly Bellies. We're like two kids in a candy store. / [Together] Yes!
Bart: Whoa! We're lumberjacks!
Health Inspector: There's candy chewed, wigs pulled from stands... cheese packages poked and repoked. / Every sign points to one obvious culprit- a giant rat.
Little Vicki: Well, you're falling a lot. Maybe you should work on that.
Little Vicki: Why, back when I was your age, I had 43 movies under my belt... and I had to do it without tappa-tappa-tappa. I would have killed for tappa-tappa-tappa.
Little Vicki · Lisa: Well, you'll never save Grandpa's farm with that attitude. / You've just got to turn that frown upside down. / That's a smile, not an upside-down frown. / Work on that too.
Marge · Homer: Why does it have a picture of Vitamin Barn? / Didn't you ever go to camp? / The old Vitamin Barn.
Homer: Look at you, all sugar and spice instead of equations and test tubes. / You're Daddy's precious dancing queen.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Little Vicki · Carl: My kitty cat's sick... and I'd be ever so sad if she should die. [Coughing] / Well, I'm no animal doctor or nothin'... but whenever I'm feelin' poorly, you know what fixes me up? / Dancin'? / Dancin'.
Lisa: [Sighs] The cat dances better than I do.
Chief Wiggum · Lou: Gosh, that cheese looks good. Think I could grab it before that anvil hits? / I don't know, Chief. It's a million to one. / I like those odds.
Chief Wiggum: My mistake was grabbing the cheese. [Coughs]
Little Vicki · Professor Frink: Professor Frink, will that spaceship be ready for the recital? / I have visited the future, and yes, it will. [Gibberish]
Lisa · Little Vicki: Excuse me. Why isn't my name in the program? / It is, silly. You've got the most important part of all. / 'Curtain puller'? / No one can see the show if the curtain isn't open.
Little Vicki · Class: I'm sorry, Lisa, but giving everyone an equal part... when they're clearly not equal is called what again, class? / Communism! / That's right.
Little Vicki: And I didn't tap all those Morse code messages to the Allies... till my shoes filled with blood... just to roll out the welcome mat for the Reds.
Professor Frink: 'Scuse me, Lisa, but I couldn't help but overhear your nerdly predicament. / Maybe I can be of assistance with the dancing and the twisting... and the kung fu fighting. [Gibberish]
Lisa · Professor Frink: It's most entertaining, but how does that help me? / Observe. [Muttering] / Ooh! That's brilliant, Professor. What will you think of next? / Well, I also found this at the gift shop. Isn't it cute? / I'm hoping to turn it into a weapon. [Cackling Gibberish] It'll kill ya.
Chief Wiggum · Lou: Are you saying he's right on the other side of that plant? [Whining] / [Snarls] / Okay. Run!
Milhouse: Bart, you're a genius. [Screams]
Milhouse Setup/Punchline Physical/Slapstick Mall Security: Well, well. Looks like the cat got the rat. / And that's the end of that tale.
Little Vicki · Students: Now this may hurt a lot. What am I saying, 'may'? [Both Gasp] / Ow! / Now that's a happy face.
Little Vicki: I'm sorry, Lisa. People go to a children's dance recital expecting a certain level of professionalism.
Ralph · Little Vicki: [Groaning] I ate too much plastic candy. / Heavens to betsy. The star of the show is sick. / Whatever will we do? There's only one person who can get us out of this pickle.
Little Vicki · Lisa: Lisa? / Yes? / Help me into Ralph's costume. [Sighs]
Little Vicki: Oh, it's too important. I'll do it for you. [Sighs]
Homer · Marge: Where's Lisa? / Shh! This plot is hard enough to follow as it is.
Homer Marge Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer · Marge: Where's Lisa? / Shh! This plot is hard enough to follow as it is.
Marge · Homer: Wow. Look at her go. / Yeah, that pressure we put on her really paid off.
Little Vicki: Nobody upstages Little Vicki. [Hisses]
Little Vicki: Stop the clapping! You'll kill us all!
Little Vicki: I once destroyed Buddy Ebsen's credit rating. / Why? / He knows why.
Professor Frink · Homer: They're clearly in the on position. See? 'On.' / I was merely trying to spare the girl's feelings, you insensitive clod.
Professor Frink · Lisa · Marge: Jesus, Mary and glavin! These shoes are in the off position. / You mean I danced all by myself? / See, honey? All you needed was to believe- / What are you talking about, Professor Frink? They're clearly in the on position. See? 'On.'
Lisa · Marge · Homer: I guess I'm never gonna be a Broadway baby. / That's not true, honey. You can always write a depressing Broadway play of some kind. / You think so? / Sure. It could be a story about people coming to terms with things. / Hey, yeah. You could load it up with lots of swears. That's what David Mamet does.
Bart: Hey, yeah. You could load it up with lots of swears. That's what David Mamet does.
Bart Observational Character Comedy Marge · Homer: Why, it's just a cute little weasel. Hello, there, Mr. Weasel. / Isn't that cute? [Screaming] / [Electricity Crackling] / I'm down!
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