After a terrible bout with insomnia, Homer takes the family to Florida during spring break. There, they kill a beloved alligator and are sentenced to a chain gang.
WAR
56.2
Wins Above Replacement
“Kill The Alligator And Run” ranks #300 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 77.8 — Great. The episode packs 75 scored jokes at 3.2 per minute, averaging 6.8 on craft and 6.7 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: So according to this, I'll live to be- 42?
Homer Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Homer · Flanders: No way! When? Six months ago. You were at the funeral. You fell into the grave.
Homer: Oh! Okay. Now am I the only one on fire?
Homer Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Guard · Homer: No listenin'. You hear me? Uh, no.
Bart · Lisa: I'm betting it's hunger and rage. Yeah, but at what ratio?
Bart Lisa Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 75 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer · Simpson family: D'oh! [Screams] - [All] Ow! Ow! Ow! - Ow! Ow! Hmm!
Bart: Here's the mail, Dad. That'll be three dollars for on-couch delivery.
Bart Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer · Bart: This isn't real money. It's printed by the Montana Militia. It'll be real soon enough.
Homer Bart Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart · Lisa: I'm betting it's hunger and rage. Yeah, but at what ratio?
Bart Lisa Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Homer: Ooh, quizmaster, yes. That would entertain me briefly.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Homer: That makes you a... Frigid Frieda. I took off 30 points for all that crying you did.
Homer Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Homer · Flanders: No way! When? Six months ago. You were at the funeral. You fell into the grave.
Homer: Oh, yeah. I saw a gopher. What a day.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Grampa · Jasper: Oh, the little rat-faced one. No, no, no. Nick. He's so good to his mother.
Homer · Grampa · Jasper: According to this, you're both idiots. Hey, thanks. What do we owe you?
Marge · Homer: Homie, for God sakes, it's 2:00 a.m. Fine. I'll take the next quiz.
Homer · Marge: Marge, do you think that counts honey-braised? I don't know! I'm trying to sleep!
Homer: So according to this, I'll live to be- 42?
Homer Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Homer: I won't even live to see my children die.
Homer Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer: See? And these quizzes are never wrong, Marge. They're put together by the finest scientists in the magazine business.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Can't sleep. Gonna die. Can't sleep. Gonna die.
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Robert Evans: I'm gonna kill you, Homer. You are so dead.
Robert Evans: Evans, you forgot Hollywood rule number one- kill Homer Simpson.
Homer: I'm not crazy. It's the TV that's crazy! Aren't you, TV?
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Mr. Burns: So tell me, are all you government inspectors so handsome and strapping?
Homer: You got to hide me. Death is after me.
Homer Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Mr. Burns: He's just a harmless maniac... here to remind us of the precious gift of sanity.
Mr. Burns Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: That's it. That's it. A mother can't die. And I'm a mother. See?
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart: Sometimes. But the guy I really hate is your father.
Bart Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Doctor · Homer: Because it's made of plastic. I see.
Homer: Florida? But that's America's wang.
Homer Observational Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Marge: Oh, no! We came during spring break!
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Visual Gag Marge: Take 'em off the glass! Take 'em off the glass!
Marge Visual Gag Cringe/Discomfort Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Unknown spring breaker: Jealous of your boobs
VJ Sepulveda: No! Not yet! I'm only 25!
Security/adult: Oh, no! It's a lost child! Don't worry, folks. I'll tackle him.
Tourist: Do you have any hobo chunks we can throw to him?
Tourist Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Female tourist: Oh, he can crawl up through my toilet any day.
Kid Rock: But this ain't no 40-ounce curb. So we're gonna need 40 gallons, y'all!
Crowd · Kid Rock crew: All for Homer. Hey, who's that fool? Yo, let's waste that beeyotch!
Joe C: No, sir. Please don't tell Mama.
Joe C Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer: Guess how many boobs I saw today, Marge? Fifteen!
Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Lisa: Doesn't he talk funny?
Lisa Observational Character Comedy Bart · Homer: Dad, look out! - Look out for what - The giant gator - The giant- [Gasps, Screams]
Sheriff: You killed Captain Jack. You in a heap of trouble, son.
Marge · Sheriff: Did you really have to handcuff the children? No, ma'am, I did not.
Sheriff: You see, during spring break, the beer companies pay me to look the other way. The rest of the year, I'm a real hard-ass.
Sheriff Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Sheriff: Whoa! Looks like we got a teeny Houdini here. Well, don't you worry, darlin'. I got some baby cuffs in the station.
Sheriff Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer: It worked! It's a miracle!
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Sheriff: Now why does that only happen when nobody's looking?
Sheriff Observational Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Marge · Homer: There's lots of good places! What about over there? No shade!
Marge · Homer: Homer, no. You'll kill us all. Or die trying.
Homer: The only thing we can do. Sit tight and try to get some sleep.
Homer Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Homer: He said there's a procedure for dealing with events of this nature.
Homer Setup/Punchline Misdirection ★ Rewatch Homer: Oh! Okay. Now am I the only one on fire?
Homer Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: I love being married.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Homer: I just want to be a broom boy so bad.
Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Diner owner · Lisa: I like your attitude. You're hired. How about you, missy? Do you want to be a mop girl? Not really, no. I like your honesty. You're hired.
Diner owner: And you two haven't said a word. I like that. You're hired.
Diner owner: But I raised eight young-uns, three chilluns and a baby here.
Diner owner: You're insincere. I like that.
Velma: Well, I'm not one to judge. The way I see it, we're all sinners.
Velma Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Velma: Stop that! Scat! Go on now! Just quit.
Velma Visual Gag Cringe/Discomfort Bart: Teacher says I'm whittling at a 1 0th grade level.
Bart Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer · Lisa · Marge: Someday, when Lisa and Bart get married, it'll all be theirs. Yuck! You mean when they marry other people. Okay, but I ain't payin' for two weddin's.
Velma: Hey, you're stealing my trailer! I like that.
Velma Callback Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Homer: Drunken hicks of the jury-
Homer Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: You know, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Guard · Homer: No listenin'. You hear me? Uh, no.
Homer: What am I supposed to do?
Homer Reaction Beat Character Comedy Homer: Restock the possum bar. We're almost out of claws.
Homer: Restock the possum bar. We're almost out of claws.
Homer Absurdist Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Sheriff: Nah. Not on a civil servant's salary. It's near-sucker.
Sheriff Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Sheriff: You should see it in August after the horseflies been getting at it. Hoo-man!
Sheriff Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Sheriff: I might could switch you to dead animal pick up.
Sheriff Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Marge · Lisa: Well, we're still welcome in North Dakota and Arizona. Arizona smells funny.
Homer · Marge: I've always wanted to see Mount Rushmore. That's South Dakota.
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