Homer takes Marge out for a romantic evening of ice skating and hand-holding, but upon entering the rink, they encounter a curling team practising. Marge and Homer take to the ice and discover their love for the sport, and soon after, join the curling team and compete with them in the Olympic trials. Team Springfield claims the win and moves on to the 2010 Vancouver Games where Bob Costas covers the action. Meanwhile, sleazy vendors introduce Lisa to the world of collecting Olympic pins, and before long, Lisa is hopelessly addicted.
WAR
66.3
Wins Above Replacement
“Boy Meets Curl” ranks #70 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 84.2 — Elite. The episode packs 66 scored jokes at 3.6 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Bob Costas: This is the sort of bittersweet melodrama Olympic coverage feeds on. I admit it. We're vampires who suck on shattered dreams.
Bob Costas Meta/Self-Referential Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Marge: I should be. I'm left-handed. I've been using my right hand all these years 'cause I didn't want to seem unusual in any way.
Marge Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Agnes Skinner: It was a 50's style romance-- Three minutes of sex and a lifetime of regret.
Mr. Burns: Tonight I will be continuing my courtship Of princess wilhelmina of prussia. Tonight's the night I pop the question: Where is the kaiser's gold?
Mr. Burns Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Seymour Skinner: Yes, that involuntary pre-conscious reflex I made in utero was unforgivable.
All Jokes — 66 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Marge · Bart: Bart, you tell me this dress doesn't make me look fat. And now! (mist spritzing) you don't look fat.
Marge Bart Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart · Homer: (spritzing) homer, you don't look fat. (chuckling): Oh, carl! You're a liar, but I love it.
Bart Homer Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Marge: Date night: It's the embalming fluid That keeps the mummy of a marriage fresh After the heart and brain have been Pulled out through the nose.
Marge Dark/Subversive Observational ★ Rewatch Homer: Ugh, I never should've given you that egyptology book.
Homer Reaction Beat Callback Callback Mr. Burns: Tonight I will be continuing my courtship Of princess wilhelmina of prussia. Tonight's the night I pop the question: Where is the kaiser's gold?
Mr. Burns Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch TV characters: I had one of my boobs reduced. You're one smart cookie, rosemary. That left boob was too good for him.
Homer: How romantic? It'll make a walk on the beach Seem like a punch in the face.
Homer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Marge · Homer: Did you call the furnace man? You said you were gonna call him! He's your cousin!
Marge: it's so noisy in here. I can't hear the ad telling everyone to be quiet!
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Observational Homer · Marge: How about bromance? It's not the same. Dude... I'm not a dude, I'm a hottie. This bromance just got interesting.
Homer: A sport that encourages hand-holding. Would you like to wear mittens or go commando?
Homer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Homer: What, they come here on Saturday night to clean the ice? Losers.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Marge, this is perfect for both of us! It's got bowling for me and sweeping for you.
Homer Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Curling instructor: Let us curl, milady. Let us throw and sweep a'twain Until the heavens themselves Drop their jaws in wonder and envy!
Curling instructor: And afterwards there'll be beer and cocoa, With marshmallows floating in the foam.
Marge: This is what you're like when you don't drink!
Marge Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Curling teammate · Marge: Where'd you learn to sweep like that? I've been training all my life. I once swept red wine off a white carpet.
Team captain · Marge · Homer: I like your style, blue. Want to join our team? If homer can join with me. Fine. You two are off the team.
Marge: So, we'd just thrown a biter, And homer said to kick harder off the hack. So I did and I almost fouled the hog line!
Marge Wordplay/Pun Absurdist ★ Rewatch Bart · Lisa: I just have one question: Is curling a real thing? Yeah, or is it just a cover story for a grown-up thing We're not allowed to know about?
Bart Lisa Observational Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Lisa: Yeah, like the time you said Dad was taking a weekend leadership seminar, When he was really stuck in a barrel at the junkyard?
Lisa Callback Absurdist ★ Rewatch Bart: Principal skinner?! This is bogus, man. You know the rules: Two letters and a conference Before I get a home visit.
Bart Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Principal Skinner: Bart, my cargo pants indicate That I'm not here on school business. I'm here on 'cool' business, I.E. Curling.
Homer: There's a winter olympics?
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Marge: He usually stays out like this for about 30 seconds. Want some coffee?
Marge Reaction Beat Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Agnes Skinner: Terrible, seymour! You're a disgrace to frozen water!
Agnes Skinner: It was a 50's style romance-- Three minutes of sex and a lifetime of regret.
Agnes Skinner: The whole nine months, Seymour had just laid there like a lump. Then this pre-natal nitwit Decides to do his rockettes impression.
Seymour Skinner: Yes, that involuntary pre-conscious reflex I made in utero was unforgivable.
Agnes · Marge · Agnes: They don't give out medals for being a loving wife. Well, they should. Well, they don't!
Pin trader: Oh, thanks! That's chilbert. One of the four winter games mascots. Would you like it? I've got doubles.
Pin trader · Lisa: Just beware, collecting olympic pins can be kind of addictive. (chuckles) come on, they're just pins.
Lisa: He does look lonely all by himself. (gasps) oh! Buy us! Buy us with money!
Lisa Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Olympic mascot performers: (hoarse male voice): Please let me go back to the cruise ship. I was chief purser. Never! Now get back in character, monsieur wee wee.
Monsieur Wee Wee: Someday I'll be the tall guy.
Announcer: That stone is coming in like a rocket. It's gotta be going four, maybe five miles an hour!
Lisa: Someone needs to convert that kinetic energy back into potential.
Lisa Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Marge: Pack your winter coat. We're going to canada's warmest city!
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Observational Homer · Former therapist: She used to be my therapist. How can I ever thank you? Pay your bill! I couldn't hear the last thing you said! Good-bye forever!
Ivan Reitman: Who you gonna call? Albania! Algeria! Argentina! (wearily): Zimbabwe.
Bob Costas: And now, in the olympic spirit of peace and goodwill, We release the canadian dove, The beaver!
Bob Costas: This was all preventable!
Bob Costas Reaction Beat Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Canadian Milhouse: Hey, bort, your sister's hotter than a calgary brushfire. Mind if I ask her oot?
Canadian Bart: She's as loony as a one-dollar coin.
Homer: ¶ homer simpson wins a gold, sliding rocks on ice, bao bao! ¶
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Team member: But as an olympic curler, he's dragging us down Like an anchor on a bag of toasters.
Agnes Skinner · Seymour Skinner: I had one olympics ruined by a bald, drooling idiot, But it's not gonna happen again. I was not bald. My fontanel was covered by lanugo.
Team member: The hat makes me the coach.
Pin dealer · Lisa: It's ennui, himself. I must have him. Can I have it on account? On account of I want it? No, it's just not funny the first time.
Lisa: These were a gift from my mom When I could first read at a twelfth grade level.
Lisa Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Lisa: A dime?! What do you think I am- a payphone from 1980?!
Lisa Character Comedy Observational Lisa: There is no dress. It's just pins.
Lisa Escalation Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Bob Costas: Oh, my, that delivery has less juice than sunny delight.
Bob Costas: She pulled off an impossible move, Just like the time I shaved off larry bird's moustache While he was napping.
Bob Costas: This is the sort of bittersweet melodrama Olympic coverage feeds on. I admit it. We're vampires who suck on shattered dreams.
Bob Costas Meta/Self-Referential Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Homer · Marge: Ooh, you're hot when you're horny. I'm not horny. I'm mad. Ooh, you're mad when you're angry.
Marge: I should be. I'm left-handed. I've been using my right hand all these years 'cause I didn't want to seem unusual in any way.
Marge Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Bart · Lisa: The first thing you have to do is get clean, so give me your pins. All of 'em. What is this, tough love? Uh, it's a little more like soft hate.
Bart Lisa Setup/Punchline Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Lisa: Without them, I'm just a big maggie.
Lisa Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Bart: His name is fatov. He represents the russian spirit of sloth and alcoholism.
Bart Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Let's give the olympics a miracle. But this time, on ice.
Homer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Audience member: Ah, they shouldn't be playing quidditch at all. Not while four of the seven horcruxes are still unfound.
Agnes · Agnes: Before now, I never knew a mother could love her child. Win or lose, I'm taking you out for pizza and ice cream, And we can sit at the same table.
Agnes Skinner · Seymour Skinner: Before now, I never knew a mother could love her child. Win or lose, I'm taking you out for pizza and ice cream, And we can sit at the same table.
Bob Costas: Kids, open your history books, tear out the pages And put this indelible olympic moment in.
Homer: Take that, sweden! Tell me how my ice tastes.
Homer Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Top Episodes — The Simpsons
