Marge, Bart and Lisa start their own food blog and land a reservation at a popular restaurant; when Marge sends Homer to a cooking lab, he finds himself in a situation with law enforcement.
WAR
59.5
Wins Above Replacement
“The Food Wife” ranks #145 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 81.8 — Elite. The episode packs 61 scored jokes at 3.3 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: Oh, no. I don't eat anything new unless I've eaten it before.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Game developer · Bart: But working on this game cost me my marriage. I-I have twins I've never met! - Well, when you meet them, tell them your game's too easy.
Homer · Drug dealer: Is this the chemical kitchen place where you do the crazy cooking? - Quiet, man. The experience begins.
Foodie · Bart · Foodie: We discovered Korean barbeque in this town. - Uh, before the Koreans? - Oh, sure they cook it, but they don't get it.
Homer: My kids do not eat sorbet; they eat sherbet. And they pronounce it 'sherbert,' and they wish it was ice cream.
Homer Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 61 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Marge: And here's a marble for Lisa for cleaning her room, and a marble for Bart for not trashing Lisa's room.
Marge Observational Character Comedy Homer: This Saturday, from the dad who brought you cemetery paintball and go-karts on real roads, comes the greatest activity yet... Video game convention!
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Homer: Is there any better feeling than cutting in line because a plastic badge says you're special?
Homer Observational Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Bart · Lisa: GTS! So many games. W.O.K.?! Ooh, the Flying Tomato. Ah! TMTOLO! DL2L-to-D! Oh! ACSOL! HC1?! Whoa! Guts of War Two: Entrails of Intestinox!
Game developer: Colon slash! Rectum kill!
Game developer · Bart: We've made a game that'll reward the hardcore gamer with hundreds and hundreds of hours of... - Finished it. - Huh?
Game developer · Bart: But working on this game cost me my marriage. I-I have twins I've never met! - Well, when you meet them, tell them your game's too easy.
Game developer: From the precision footwork of Ohio State to the lame, dead-on-arrival humor of Stanford.
Game developer: Uh-oh, I'm losing the crowd!
Lisa: Level cleared. Next level: study for chemistry test on 12-hour bus ride home.
Lisa Character Comedy Observational Homer: This is the funnest game ever! Man, how many quarters does this game take?
Homer Character Comedy Observational Homer: Out of my way! Move it! Geeks must yield to normals!
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Homer: Room's full. Hmm. Aha! [climbing through vents] Yay! Woo-hoo!
Homer Physical/Slapstick Visual Gag Homer: Conventions rock! Fun Dad rocks! I need a nap!
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Homer · Kids: Head up to the tub while I deflate your toys. Save us, Fun Dad!
Homer: Yeah, I was on today. Scary on.
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Homer: Look, honey, a family's like a team. And on every team, you have the slam-dunking megastar and the referee.
Homer Setup/Punchline Irony/Sarcasm Marge: Moms want to be fun, but we're stuck with all the mom stuff.
Marge Observational Character Comedy Marge · Homer: What if... we roll pennies and go to the dollar store? - That's good, Marge! Get all the terrible ideas out of your system.
Marge Homer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer · Event Host: Your Saturday Surprise Mom Day is the X-Games! [Cut to] Welcome to the Cross Games, Simpsons. A Christian fellowship expo!
Bart · Event Host: Are there at least games here? - Oh, no, 'games' stands for Gathering of American Messengers for Evangelical Sports.
Lisa · Event Host: Sports? - 'Sports' stands for Strict Parental Oversight Rather Than Sports.
Marge · Bart · Lisa: Come on, kids, fun comes from inside. It isn't about what we actually do. - Yes, it is! That's all it is!
Event volunteer: Two children to play debtors in the Parable of the Unjust Steward. All the other kids are at something called the X-Games.
Lisa: I hate it when grown-ups call kids 'gang.'
Lisa Observational Character Comedy Homer: Why do old squirrels always crawl into my engine to die?
Homer Observational Absurdist ★ Rewatch Bart: We're not a gang! Gangs are cool!
Bart Callback Character Comedy Callback Lisa: That newborn has earrings!
Lisa Observational Visual Gag Bart: They're using pancakes as spoons. Ooh, let's see what else they do wrong.
Bart Observational Character Comedy Marge: They're selling CDs in the restaurant! Back to the car!
Marge Character Comedy Observational Marge · Waiter: Oh, I'll just have a side salad. - We have no side salad. - Back to the car!
Marge: Okay, Marge, you test-drove a convertible once; you can do this.
Marge Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Marge: Holy casserole-y! That's good gloop!
Marge Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Marge: I wish I lived in Ethiopia!
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Dark/Subversive Lisa: Exotic, getarian, I can mention it in a college essay.
Lisa Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Foodie customer: Wait, wait, wait, what is she eating? They've never served me that dish, and I wear indigenous beaded headgear.
Foodie customer: They have prepared her a dish from the non-translated page!
Homer · Bart: So, did all of your cars break down? - Mom, they're here on purpose. They're foodies.
Foodie · Bart · Foodie: We discovered Korean barbeque in this town. - Uh, before the Koreans? - Oh, sure they cook it, but they don't get it.
Homer: Oh, no. I don't eat anything new unless I've eaten it before.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer · Marge: Marge, the kids are acting ethnic! Relax, Homie. Have some leftover Galalalalalalalalah.
Bart: You're already a fatty and a drunkie.
Bart Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Homer: Oh, and here's my favorite restaurant: La Fridge. It's open 24 hours a day and there's no dress code.
Homer Setup/Punchline Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Lisa · Homer: The Three Mouthketeers. - Three? You mean, one, two... me?
Homer: All right, food nerds, reality check. All the food in those pictures is poop by now. Minds blown, you're welcome.
Homer Deadpan/Understatement Observational Homer: My kids do not eat sorbet; they eat sherbet. And they pronounce it 'sherbert,' and they wish it was ice cream.
Homer Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Homer: Fine, blow off Fun Dad and go eat your walrus mustaches and deep-fried pixie wangs.
Homer: Aah! Jealous? Me? That is to laugh. The very idea. If anything... you're the one who's jealous. Of what? Of how much fun I am to be around!
Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer: When I'm sad, I make baseball bats. - When I'm happy, I make birdhouses.
Homer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Tony Bourdain: I'm food bad boy Tony Bourdain. There's nowhere I won't go and nothing I won't eat, as long as I'm paid in emeralds and my hotel room has a bidet that shoots warm champagne.
Gordon Ramsay: Stop your bloody whinging, Marge. You (bleep) it up, big blue, didn't you? Why did you invite Homer? He stole your bloody thunder.
Marge · Bart · Lisa: But there weren't four Musketeers. - Yeah-huh. Athos, Porthos, Aramis and D'Artagnan. - D'Artagnan wasn't a Musketeer. He only had a letter of introduction to the captain of the guards-- which he lost!
Homer: Well, actually, I've come around on hipsters. Takes a lot of guts to all wear the same hat.
Homer Observational Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Homer · Drug dealer: Is this the chemical kitchen place where you do the crazy cooking? - Quiet, man. The experience begins.
Chef: The next course is Regret.
Chef Deadpan/Understatement Absurdist Homer: Pick up the meth! Pick up the meth! This better be dinner theater!
Homer Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Marge! This isn't a food restaurant! It's a meth restaurant! A meth-taurant! Aah!
Homer Wordplay/Pun Escalation Foodie: They say you can't even understand parsnips until you had zero-g parsnips.
Criminal family member: We get the family dressed up to go to our favorite meth lab, and it's all raided out.
Marge: Eat deconstructed apple pie! Merci, Maman, pour la tarte tatin à la mode.
Marge Escalation Character Comedy Homer: Here's 50 bucks. For the next two hours, I don't want to know you exist.
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Top Episodes — The Simpsons
