Selina is annoyed by the press' reaction to her running mate's charm.
Cringe-heavy 58-joke episode leans harder on discomfort than Veep's typical satire strength.
Directed by Chris Addison · Written by Will Smith, Georgia Pritchett
WAR
138.3
Wins Above Replacement
“Storms and Pancakes” ranks #56 of 65 Veep episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 90.0 — Elite. The episode packs 104 scored jokes at 3.0 per minute, averaging 7.4 on craft and 7.2 on impact, with Selina Meyer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Tom James · Selina Meyer: You are the sun, I the moon. Of Jupiter. Not even one of the good ones.
Selina Meyer: No, it certainly didn't. / It fell at the first fence and it got shot. And now some French fucker's got it in a baguette.
Selina Meyer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch fun fact staffer: Well... it's either surprisingly little or surprisingly a lot.
Jonah Ryan: Jesus fucking Christ. You all look like me. / This is a nightmare. It's a fucking nightmare.
Richard Splett: I am sorry, ma'am. A number of tall women were molested and Mr. Ryan was one of them.
All Jokes — 104 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Tom James · Selina Meyer · crowd member: Are you two going to get married? / She's way out of my league. / That's the correct answer.
Tom James: I mean, within obviously acceptable propriety and so on.
Tom James Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Selina Meyer: If I have any more of those funnel cakes, I won't be able to fit through the bus door. / It's true. Those funnel cakes are just great. / You won't be able to miss us. / It's true because if... we'll eat them and then we'll get so fat.
Tom James · Selina Meyer: You are the sun, I the moon. Of Jupiter. Not even one of the good ones.
Mike McLintock: It's great. Should be called the 'New York Toms.'
Tom James: You know, a wolf is actually a pack animal. I'm more of a lone squirrel.
Tom James Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch unidentified aide (likely Kent or Ben): Fun fact... we're running a campaign here, not a bake sale.
Selina Meyer · Gary Walsh: There is sexual tension on this bus. / From? / Tom. / (gasps) Towards? / Me.
Selina Meyer: And you saw the way he crossed his legs towards me as soon as I sat down?
Selina Meyer · Gary Walsh: We almost... Kissed? / Fucked. / Okay.
Selina Meyer · Ben Cafferty: Is it Israel or is it China? / No, it's an actual hurricane.
Ben Cafferty: And it's about to take North Carolina from behind.
Mike McLintock · Selina Meyer: Ma'am, we can track the storm from here. I have a weather app. / We have the full power of the National Weather Service, Mike. / Sure, but this is a really good app.
VP Doyle (or visiting official): It's like a morgue full of dead librarians.
Jonah Ryan: Well, great struggling to talk to you.
Jonah Ryan: This place is leaking bodies faster than a Chinese ferry.
Jonah Ryan: No, don't you dare touch my balls.
colleague: A joke's not a joke unless everyone can laugh at it.
Jonah Ryan: This is what I have to look forward to... A bunch of fucking half-wit jokers trying to grab my balls.
unnamed congressman/official: How are the testies, Jonah?
unnamed congressman/official: Put it in that pile over there with everything else. I'll set fire to it later.
Selina Meyer: Just look at this guy. He is the new me. He's super me.
Selina Meyer · Gary Walsh: I was veep, they polled other candidates, fucked me in my slack old ass. / Sound like a best seller? / I'd read it. / But I'd read anything, though. I love to read.
Selina Meyer: I don't want to break a tit. They weren't cheap.
Tom James: I did do the Tour of Italy 2008, but my mountain times were embarrassing.
Tom James Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Selina Meyer · reporter · Gary Walsh: No, I would not say Tom James is a star. I would say he is a superstar. And I made a good pick. Don't you think I did? / Yes, you did. / Good. What do you think? Did I do a good job? / Is this a good choice that I made?
Selina Meyer: I should be riding in a basket in the front like E.T.
Mike McLintock or aide: That's a great image. Vital, dynamic. Self-congratulations are in order.
Selina Meyer · Amy Brookheimer (via text): Great. Another hate text from Amy. 'You looked sweaty on TV yesterday. Are you going through the change?'
Selina Meyer: I wish I understood vendettas. They're so time-consuming.
Amy Brookheimer: Hello, I suggested that a week ago and I was shot down like a hang glider over the Pentagon.
Amy Brookheimer · Sidney Purcell: Well, I hope that it's a different vibe because I am putting all of that stuff behind me. / Great. We need someone... / Selina Meyer is yesterday's news as far as I'm concerned.
Sidney Purcell: And a whiter building.
Sidney Purcell: Maybe you can refer to it as the White House since some of our clients actually still like and respect that place.
Dan Egan · Amy Brookheimer: VP Doyle's a lame duck. And you know what you do with lame animals? / You care for them. / You shoot them dead. / Oh, no, yeah, I got you. Kinder in the long run, actually.
Tom James · Selina Meyer: The night of the green shoes. / Oh, look at you, remembering the shoes. / They gave you blisters. / Or was it... No, it was corns. / Or... / No, it wasn't corns. Not co... I don't get corns.
Selina Meyer · Tom James: The extended cab scene where Selina brings up 'the moment' and Tom remembers only the cab ride, the green shoes, and the corns — not the near-miss.
Selina Meyer · Tom James: You wanted to walk home. / Yeah, I love to walk at night. / It's the only time I can think straight, without the phones and screens pestering me.
Gary Walsh · Selina Meyer: You okay, ma'am? You look a little flushed. / (gasps) I mentioned the moment in the car. / And? / He had no idea what I was talking about. / No, you're kidding me.
Gary Walsh: You want me to talk to him like guy on guy?
Selina Meyer · Gary Walsh: I'm going commando at tomorrow's pancake brunch. / What? No underwear? / What? No. Jesus Christ. Yeah, that'll win me the election. A nice shot of my beav.
Dan Egan: Dan Egan is back. Like denim and measles.
Dan Egan Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Dan Egan: Lauren, you look beautiful. How do you keep that white wine so cold looking that hot?
Dan Egan Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Amy Brookheimer · Dan Egan: Well, this is a soulless parade of vanity and ambition. / Isn't it great? Sliders are good, too.
Dan Egan: She didn't like my untidiness or my other girlfriends.
Amy Brookheimer: I hope your vagina falls off.
Dan Egan: All right, how do I put this sensitively? Stop acting fucking nuts.
Amy Brookheimer · Dan Egan: Amy screaming in the parking garage / Amy, stop it! / That feels really good. / I don't care.
Dan Egan: Go to a spa, take a Pilates class. Go to a fucking church, find someone there that has some Valium and take four of them.
Dan Egan Character Comedy Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Dan Egan: Thank you. For this and for your broader service.
Dan Egan Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Jonah Ryan · Richard Splett · Ruth Forrester: Jonah Ryan. / This is my personal assistant Richard Splett. / Splett? / Splett. / Uh, Splett.
Ruth Forrester · Jonah Ryan: We've all been the victims of Teddy's inappropriate sexual behavior. / Am I the only man that he... / As far as we know.
Jonah Ryan: There was the ball... The cupping... The grabbing or the... The clutching.
Jonah Ryan Cringe/Discomfort Escalation Character Comedy Jonah Ryan · Ruth Forrester: There is no shame here, Jonah. Let it out. / Oh, I understand there's no shame because what happened between Teddy and I was not consensual, obviously. There was the ball... The cupping... The grabbing or the... The clutching.
Jonah Ryan: I understand there's no shame because it was locker room tomfoolery and nothing more.
Jonah Ryan: Jesus fucking Christ. You all look like me. / This is a nightmare. It's a fucking nightmare.
Jonah Ryan: And just so we're clear, at no point was this a job interview?
Jonah Ryan Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Jonah Ryan: Yeah, I feel like I got felt up again, but this time by the law.
Jonah Ryan · Richard Splett: Richard, I don't look like a middle-aged woman, do I?
Richard Splett: No, sir. / Well, you do have that one purple shirt that looks a bit blousy, but...
Selina Meyer · aide: He's got that big left ear... He has a small majority and he needs funding for infrastructure. / Okay, really good. It's just it's his right ear that's freakishly large.
aide · Selina Meyer: Okay, the minute you see bubbles, you flip. / No, you flip when you see holes. / Bubbles is too soon. / Holes, not bubbles.
Selina Meyer: Buttermilk is not a syrup.
Mike McLintock: Who's achin' for some bacon?
fun fact staffer · Selina Meyer: Fun fact... scopolamine was first used as a truth serum by the Czechoslovakian state police. / How is that fun?
Tom James: Did you lose a lot of weight or did you get six inches taller? I think you look great. Great height and weight.
fun fact staffer: Well... it's either surprisingly little or surprisingly a lot.
aide · Mike McLintock: Chatting, nodding. This is classic mingling. / Yeah, but it's funeral mingling. Nobody's laughing. She must not be using all the jokes I gave her.
Amy Brookheimer · Dan Egan: Defocus. / Did I tell you I slept in? / Wow. / Actually, I got up early, but then I just stayed in bed looking at Politico. / That site has turned to shit.
Amy Brookheimer · Dan Egan: Wow, this music is so irritating. / Jesus, only you could be irritated by gamma waves and a whale.
Amy Brookheimer: This is just a Swiss suicide clinic with a hint of jojoba.
Amy Brookheimer · Dan Egan: Dan, mm-hmm, I did the whole spa thing and it worked. / I have been here, like... / Seven minutes. / Seven minutes. Yeah, it's plenty.
unnamed senator (Bernie) · pancake cook: Can I get a short stack made without cow's milk? / Are you serious? / No, it makes me gassy. Which, when you have a bag instead of a bowel, is not good.
Tom James: Who's, uh... who's achin' for some bacon?
Tom James Callback Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Dan Egan: No, no, no. That's my holy trinity. Those are my biggies. Without those, all I got is my smallies.
Sidney Purcell: Well, spoils of war, handsome.
Dan Egan · Sidney Purcell · Amy Brookheimer: You want to go ahead and give her my parking space and my desk while you're at it? / Now, listen, Dan, I don't want to be unreasonable. Amy, do you want his parking space and desk? / Yes, please.
Gary Walsh: You are Beyoncé. He is backup bootie.
Gary Walsh Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Ben Cafferty: Ma'am, you've got to get back to DC faster than a speeding drunk.
Ben Cafferty: Yeah, six hours till flying cow time.
Ben Cafferty: This is a potential tragedy that could be great for you.
Ben Cafferty: Hell, yes. I mean, no offense meant, Sue, but when it's just you and me, it's like it's just me.
Mike McLintock: Both the National Weather Service and my app are saying this.
Tom James: Either they have the contrast turned up to max or you are looking fine.
Tom James Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Selina Meyer · aide: I have had it with her category five fucking snoot. / And... she definitely can't hear us? / No. / Maybe she can lip-read.
Selina Meyer · Tom James · aide: Okay, um... let's just swivel the chairs. / [beat] / Jesus Christ. / She know that we can hear that? / My guess would be no. / I got a text from Ben. / What did he say? / He says he can't hear anything.
Tom James: Just throwing that into the barbecue sauce.
Selina Meyer: It doesn't work. The chair...
Mike McLintock · Selina Meyer: My app says moderate breeze. / These trees are still standing. / I don't want to look at standing trees.
Selina Meyer · Mike McLintock: How about that app of yours, Mike? You better get your money back on that one. / It was actually free. / I updated my software and it just appeared on my screen. And I was like, 'What is this thing?' And I just picked it up.
Selina Meyer: No, it certainly didn't. / It fell at the first fence and it got shot. And now some French fucker's got it in a baguette.
Selina Meyer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Louise Benjamin · Jonah Ryan: Is this a joke? / Honestly, why are you here? / How tall are you?
Jonah Ryan · Louise Benjamin: Hello. Is this a joke? / I'm sorry? / Honestly, why are you here? / I'm collating agency responses... / How tall are you?
Richard Splett: I am sorry, ma'am. A number of tall women were molested and Mr. Ryan was one of them.
aide · Selina Meyer: Ma'am, we've also set up a tour of an egg plant. I mean a plant that packs eggs, not the big vegetable. / Thanks for clarifying.
Nick (aide) · Selina Meyer: Nope, I'm gonna be hiding in the back of a car. I know. Biography just writes itself.
Selina Meyer: (quietly) This isn't damage. Just some shitty building.
aide: O'Brien just pulled a teddy bear out of the ruins of a house.
aide Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Selina Meyer: Complete 180. This is a campaign visit. Go get Tom now.
Tom James · Selina Meyer: Tom chatting to worker Patrick: 'I've been looking for you.' Then deep conversation about embossing dentil moulding while Selina stands ignored.
Tom James · Patrick Murray (worker): Are you able to emboss harder species of wood? / Yeah, we emboss hard maple right here. / Can you combine that? / The emboss and the dentil moulding? / Yes, sir, you can.
unnamed visitor · Sue Wilson: Sue around? / [long pause / reaction beat]
Tom James · Selina Meyer · Gary Walsh: It's too ornate, right? / Exactly. / You don't want to do it. I know I don't. / Hey, I'm gonna have to cut you off. / He's a chatterbox, isn't he? / Yes, he is.
Selina Meyer: You don't have to say hi to them. We've already said hi to these folks. Come on.