Episode 4

Fleabag:Fleabag silently admiring the Priest's arms, neck, and general physical appearance while having what should be a serious conversation about death and funerals

Fleabag · Priest:Fleabag accidentally says 'His beautiful neck' out loud instead of keeping it as an internal aside

Fleabag:Fleabag, now alone, looks to camera and quietly says 'His beautiful neck' again — a private, helpless repetition

Fleabag:Fleabag describes a Quaker meeting to camera: 'It's very intense. It's very quiet. It's very, very... erotic.'

Fleabag:Fleabag in the Quaker meeting, visibly struggling, then suddenly blurting her confession: 'I sometimes worry that I wouldn't be such a feminist if I had bigger tits.'

Fleabag:The café is revealed to be full of guinea pigs — Fleabag's 'unique selling point'

Priest · Fleabag:'Why so many guinea pigs?' / 'I just thought it'd be a unique selling point.' / 'Which came first, the guinea pig or the guinea pig café?'

Priest · Fleabag:'What do guinea pigs do?' / 'Um, they are born, they shit themselves with fear, and then they die.'

Priest:The Priest says 'Can I use that at the wedding?' in response to the guinea pig/life description

Priest · Fleabag:The Priest notices Fleabag 'disappear' mid-conversation — catches her doing her fourth-wall-breaking dissociation in real time

Fleabag · Priest:'No, stop being so churchy.' / 'I'm not being churchy, I'm just trying to get to know you.' / 'Well, I don't want that.'

Fleabag:'I think you've played with my guinea pig long enough.'

Claire · Fleabag:Claire at the funeral — she's accidentally looking spectacularly, impossibly beautiful, and is mortified by it

Claire:'No matter what I do with my hair, it just keeps falling in this really chic way.'

Claire · Mourners:Multiple mourners arriving to comfort Claire immediately compliment her appearance: 'Gosh, you look gorgeous.' / 'My God, you look well.' / 'Darling, you look wonderful.'

Fleabag · Claire:Fleabag spots the Stepmother and accuses her of 'trying to fuck my dad'; Claire snaps 'Can you not think the fucking worst of someone for just a split fucking second? Not everyone is after cock.' — then immediately: 'She's definitely trying to fuck my dad.'

Fleabag:'Well, she ain't made of wood.' — Fleabag's response to Claire's admission about the Dad

Harry · Fleabag:Harry arrives at the funeral: 'Are you OK?' 'Mm-hmm. You? Do you need anything?' 'Uh, no, I'm good, thanks. I've just had a large glass of water.'

Harry · Claire:Harry's trousers are visibly shrunken — left them in the dryer — at the funeral

Mourner · Fleabag · Claire:Mourner approaches to 'comfort' with a lengthy speech about how grief will get worse: 'The hard bit's gonna come in a few weeks... people start to forget... your lovely boyfriends might not be able to cope.'

Claire:'Oh, well, he's my husband, so...' — Claire's correction when the mourner says 'your lovely boyfriends'

Fleabag:'I'm gonna check on the sausage rolls.' — Fleabag's exit from the mourner's comfort monologue

Dad:The Dad's eulogy about the deceased — he admits 'I found her very difficult' and 'I was jealous of her' as funeral tributes

Dad · Fleabag · Claire:Godmother arrives and the Dad says 'I'll leave you two' — the girls are visibly reluctant to be left alone with her

Dad:'She just didn't get the fun gene.' — Dad about Claire

Dad:Dad's pep talk: 'Buck up. Smile. Charm. Off we go.'

Fleabag · Priest:'I don't know what to do with it. With all the love I have for her. I don't know where to put it now.' / 'I'll take it.' / 'No, I'm serious.' / 'I'll have it. You have to give it to me. OK. It's got to go somewhere.'

Priest · Fleabag:The Priest wakes up at night, startled: 'Oh, fuck. Fuck! Jesus! / Whoa, why are you awake? / It's 9:45. / Oh my God. I thought you were just in my head then. But I mean you were in my head then. But now you're there.'

Priest:'Oh, fuck you calling me Father — like it doesn't turn you on just to say it.'

Priest · Fleabag:The Priest asks: 'Are you a nostalgic person?' / Fleabag: 'Yeah.' / 'Do you like Winnie the Pooh?' / 'Yeah.' / 'I fucking love Winnie the Pooh. I can't read a Winnie the Pooh quote without crying. Fuck. Piglet.'

Fleabag:Fleabag begs: 'Please say you were praying for me. I could do with the extra pair of hands. Mine don't seem to have the fucking reach anymore.'

Priest · Fleabag:The Priest: 'God help me.' / Fleabag: 'Whoa! / Thank you.'

Priest:The Priest tells the story of a man who wanted to be a saint so badly he castrated himself — 'just to stop himself... you know... whack!'

Priest · Fleabag:'Here's to peace.' / 'And those who get in the way of it.'

Priest:'Sometimes I worry I'm only in it for the outfits.'

Priest:'Sometimes I worry I'm only in it for the outfits.'

Priest:'I mean, your stuff is lovely, too.' — Priest to Fleabag, after admiring his vestments

Fleabag · Priest:'And you make me tell you all my secrets so you can ultimately trap and control me?' / 'Yeah.' — Fleabag's characterisation of confession

Fleabag · Priest:Fleabag refuses to say 'Bless me Father for I have sinned': 'I'm not gonna say that.' / 'What? Very good.' / Then: 'I'm not Catholic.'

Fleabag · Priest:'Won't I catch fire or something?' / 'If you did, it would confirm my faith, so let's try it.'

Fleabag:Fleabag's confession list: 'I've stolen things. I've had a lot of sex outside of marriage. And once or twice inside someone else's. Uh, there's been a spot of sodomy. Then, much masturbation — a bit of violence, and of course the endless fucking blasphemy.'

Fleabag:'Uh, there's been a spot of sodomy. Then, much masturbation, a bit of violence, and of course the endless fucking blasphemy.'

Fleabag:'I want someone to tell me what to wear in the morning.' / '...I want someone to tell me what to wear every morning.'

Fleabag:'I want someone to tell me what to wear in the morning.' / '...I want someone to tell me what to wear every morning.'

Priest · Fleabag:'Kneel.' / 'What?' / 'Kneel.' / (long silence — Fleabag kneels)

Fleabag:'This is a skirt and trousers?' — Fleabag's reaction to her outfit during/after the church scene