Lindsay encourages Nick to pursue a career in music. Nick continues to practice with his current band, but quickly decides he's better than them. Lindsay encourages Nick to audition for a bigger local band. When things don't go well in the audition, Lindsay is there to comfort Nick. After learning they have to shower in gym class, Sam, Bill, and Neal refuse to do it.
WAR
78.2
Wins Above Replacement
“Tests and Breasts” ranks #11 of 18 Freaks and Geeks episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 80.2 — Elite. The episode packs 77 scored jokes at 2.1 per minute, averaging 7.1 on craft and 7.0 on impact, with Sam landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Bill: Bill: 'Hey, you think there's any short porn stars?'
Bill Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Lindsay: Lindsay erupts in uncontrollable laughter in the middle of Daniel's emotional Track 3 speech — in front of both sets of adults
Lindsay Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Sam · Mr. Fredricks: Sam: 'Uh, I have just one more question.' Fredricks: 'What is it?' Sam: 'Uh, could you explain this joke to me? So there's this guy with no arms and no legs...'
Harold: [DOORBELL RINGS] immediately after Sam attempts the joke at dinner — Harold says 'Who could that be?'
Harold Visual Gag Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Mr. Rosso: Mr. Rosso tells Lindsay about his cheating past: 'OK, we cheated.' Then: 'He studied and got all As on his own.' Beat. 'Close. He beat the living crap out of me.'
Mr. Rosso Setup/Punchline Misdirection ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 77 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Students · Mr. Fredricks: Class erupts in laughter at the filmstrip's mention of 'hair growth in the genital area'
Student: Student looks at diagram of female reproductive system on screen and says 'Looks like it's from outer space'
Mr. Fredricks: Mr. Fredricks threatens: 'When you get the clap 'cause you weren't paying attention in health class, is that gonna be funny, too?'
Student: Student compares the uterus diagram to the alien from Alien: 'Didn't Sigourney Weaver kill that thing in Alien?'
Mr. Fredricks · Sam: Mr. Fredricks calls Sam up to the front to teach the class, dubbing him 'Dr. Love'
Mr. Fredricks · Sam: Mr. Fredricks asks Sam to point to the ovaries on the diagram. Sam stands paralyzed and silent.
Mr. Fredricks: 'Cervix says no.' — Mr. Fredricks buzzer sound after Sam fails to identify the cervix
Mr. Fredricks · Sam: Fredricks escalates to 'The vagina, Weir, the VA-- easy one, easy one. Basic stuff, guys know it.' — Sam cannot identify that either
Sam: Sam's defeated aside after returning to his seat: 'At least I didn't get head lice.'
Sam Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mr. Rosso: Mr. Rosso walking the halls, schmoozing every student he passes ('Peace, brother.' 'Rock on, Kirby.') with forced hip-adult energy
Mr. Kowchevski: Mr. Kowchevski to a student sitting on a desk: 'Hey, Chatty Cathy, you sit on the furniture at home?'
Mr. Kowchevski · Daniel: Kowchevski's bus metaphor, and Daniel's response: 'But I don't ride the bus, sir.'
Mr. Kowchevski: Kowchevski's comeback: 'Flunk another test, Desario, and you just might have to come back here next year and ride the bus with me again.'
Jocks · Sam · Neal: The doorbell joke is told to jocks, who laugh hard; the geeks don't get it and debate whether it's actually funny
Neal · Sam: Neal: 'Don't know how to tell jokes.' / Sam: 'Do you get it?' / Neal: 'I don't really like jokes. I don't think they're funny.'
Neal Sam Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Callback Neal: Neal: 'Trust me, they're idiots. It's not funny.' (about the jocks laughing at the joke)
Neal Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jock · Sam · Cindy: Jock calls out to Sam in front of Cindy Sanders: 'Hey, Dr. Love! Hey, I can't find my girlfriend's cervix. Can you help me out?'
Sam: Sam explains to Cindy: 'Oh, that was just... an inside joke.'
Sam Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Callback Jock · Sam: Second jock: 'Excuse me, Dr. Love? Would you autograph my genitals?'
Jock Sam Running Gag Cringe/Discomfort Callback Nick: Nick casually recounts stealing $20 from his mom, framing his brother getting hit with a spatula as 'hilarious'
Nick Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Nick: Nick's follow-up: 'I get these weird urges sometimes. I should probably go apologize.'
Nick Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Callback Lindsay · Daniel: Lindsay asks Daniel if he thinks he might flunk the test; Daniel: 'No, I'm definitely gonna flunk it.'
Daniel: Daniel on math: 'It's not like I'm a bus driver.'
Daniel Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Daniel: Lindsay asks if he really wants to repeat Kowchevski's class; Daniel: 'Hell, no. I'd rather be in jail.'
Daniel Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Harris · Sam · Neal: Harris re-tells the doorbell punchline to Sam and Neal; they press him for the meaning; he insists 'You have to find out for yourselves.' Neal: 'He doesn't get it, either.'
Harris: Harris: 'Love is like homework. You got to study if you want to get an A.'
Harris Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Sam · Harold · Jean: Sam tries the doorbell joke punchline on his parents at dinner; neither gets it. Dad: 'You know who's funny? That Red Buttons.'
Harold: [DOORBELL RINGS] immediately after Sam attempts the joke at dinner — Harold says 'Who could that be?'
Harold Visual Gag Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Harold: Harold's reason for answering the door instead of Lindsay: 'It's dark out, and you're a-- a girl.'
Harold Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Daniel · Lindsay: Daniel arrives without his textbook for a tutoring session. 'I probably should have, huh?'
Daniel · Lindsay: Daniel casually tries to light a cigarette inside Lindsay's house during the tutoring session
Harold · Sam: Harold discovers Daniel's health book hidden under Sam's belongings and examines it with suspicion
Daniel: Daniel, learning Sam is embarrassed by sex-ed: 'Yeah, I know how that goes.' / 'You know, you're not gonna learn anything you can use from a book like that.'
Daniel Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Daniel · Lindsay: Daniel loses focus mid-quadratic formula, complaining that Lindsay is 'just teaching me math'
Nick: Nick, standing lookout while Daniel breaks into Kowchevski's office, gets distracted chatting with a girl about ABBA and asks: 'They're from Switzerland, right?'
Nick Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Daniel: After Daniel escapes: 'I think I'm getting a wart on my wrist.'
Daniel Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Sam · Neal · Bill: Sam opens the film canister: 'Oh, my God. It's a naked woman.' / 'What's she doing?' / 'Who cares what she's doing? She's naked.'
Sam · Daniel: Sam: 'What am I supposed to do with a porno?' / Daniel: 'You watch it... over and over.' / Sam: 'Eww!'
Sam · Daniel: Sam: 'Only perverts watch pornos, right?' / Daniel: 'Well, then every guy in America is a pervert.'
Sam · Daniel · Bill: Sam: 'I don't even have a projector.' / Daniel: 'Well, I do. Give it to me. After school today, we go to my house and we watch this movie from beginning to end.'
Daniel · Lindsay: Daniel: 'Damn, it's weird you can do this in your head. Like a braindead or something.' / Lindsay: 'Thanks.'
Daniel · Lindsay: Daniel: 'I'm gonna be, like, a guy with one of those things.' / Lindsay: 'An abacus?' / Daniel: 'Yeah.'
Bill · Sam: Bill arrives at the porno screening with a bag of popcorn; Sam: 'Bill, this is a porno. You don't eat popcorn during a porno.'
Bill Sam Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Sam · Bill: Sam: 'This is taking forever.' / Bill: 'Yeah. Could've made our own porno by now.'
Sam Bill Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive Sam · Neal · Bill: The film starts and the boys watch in stunned silence — then: 'Wow.' / 'Hello.' / 'How'd you like to come home to that every night?'
Sam · Bill: Sam: 'He's in good shape.' [OY!] Bill: 'Oh, my God.'
Sam Bill Reaction Beat Awkward Silence ★ Rewatch Neal: Neal: 'That guy's got the best job in the world.'
Neal Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Bill: Bill: 'Hey, you think there's any short porn stars?'
Bill Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Harold · Jean: Harold's response to Sam skipping dessert: 'Of course. He's at that stage. Yes, I understand totally.'
Harold: Harold: 'Next thing you know, she's Patty Hearst, and she's got a gun to our head.'
Harold Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Harold: Harold at the dinner table, again attempting: 'So then the guy says to her, how do you think I rang the doorbell?'
Harold Running Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Harold: Cut to the Weir living room: Harold tells the doorbell joke at dinner — 'So then the guy says to her, How do you think I rang the doorbell?' — and laughs
Harold Running Gag Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Millie: Millie confronts Lindsay about cheating rumors: 'Even though Lindsay's not a mathlete anymore, she would never break the league's code of honor.'
Millie Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Lindsay · Millie: Lindsay confesses to Millie: 'I did cheat. I lied and I cheated, and then I lied some more.' Millie laughs: 'You're funny, Lindsay. I knew it wasn't true.'
Sam · Bill · Neal: The geeks at lunch discussing Dukes of Hazzard with completely flat affect: 'Yeah. It was a good one.' / 'Yeah. Boss Hogg is really funny.'
Sam Bill Neal Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Callback Sam · Cindy: Sam, approached by Cindy who now NEEDS his help with the ice cream booth, suddenly becomes unavailable: 'Well, it turns out I can't make it, either.'
Sam Cindy Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Neal: After Cindy leaves, the geeks return to blank Dukes of Hazzard analysis: 'Wasn't that great when the Dukes handcuffed Roscoe, Enos, and Boss Hogg together?'
Neal Running Gag Deadpan/Understatement Callback Mr. Rosso: Mr. Rosso tells Lindsay about his cheating past: 'OK, we cheated.' Then: 'He studied and got all As on his own.' Beat. 'Close. He beat the living crap out of me.'
Mr. Rosso Setup/Punchline Misdirection ★ Rewatch Mr. Rosso: Rosso's repetition and emphasis: 'And when I say beat the living crap out of me, I mean the living crap.'
Kim · Lindsay: Kim laughs at Lindsay's belief that Daniel will become her study buddy: 'I'm sorry. You think that you and Daniel are gonna be, like, study buddies?'
Daniel · Lindsay: Daniel gives Lindsay a high-five before the disciplinary meeting, but slaps her hand too hard — she winces: 'OW!'
Mr. Fredricks: Fredricks: 'It's not gonna come out with dents on its head like a golf ball or somethin'.'
Mr. Fredricks: Fredricks: 'I mean, Dellage got poked in the eye.' [laughter] 'I'm kiddin'. Kiddin', Dellage.'
Mr. Fredricks · Sam: Fredricks calls Sam into his office because of his 'Star Trek notebook paper' — Sam didn't realize the anonymous questions weren't anonymous
Mr. Fredricks · Sam: Fredricks: 'Certain men... uh, not me...' — then an extended off-screen sex-ed explanation lasting over a minute before: 'Huh? Torture over.'
Sam · Mr. Fredricks: Sam: 'Uh, I have just one more question.' Fredricks: 'What is it?' Sam: 'Uh, could you explain this joke to me? So there's this guy with no arms and no legs...'
Kowchevski · Jean: Kowchevski admits there was no anonymous note — it was a 'ploy to get a confession.' Lindsay's mom: 'How do you expect to have real relationships with these kids if you're lying to them?'
Harold: Harold: 'I knew kids like Desario in Vietnam—' [is immediately cut off by everyone entering the room]
Harold Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Mr. Kowchevski · Harold: Kowchevski bets his career on Daniel not being able to solve one problem from the stolen test: 'I'll quit. I will resign. I'll never teach again.' Harold: 'That'd be a start.'
Daniel · Mr. Kowchevski · Mr. Rosso · Harold: Daniel sits down and actually begins solving the quadratic formula correctly — everyone watches in disbelief, especially Kowchevski
Sam · Cindy: Cindy tells Sam what time the carnival starts: 'Well, I don't know, it starts at noon, so maybe you should come at 11:00.' / Sam: 'A.M.?' / Cindy: 'P.M.?' / Both laugh.
Sam Cindy Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Harold · Mr. Rosso: Harold, seeing the anti-establishment artwork on the wall: 'WHAT IS THAT?' / Rosso: 'That... is a student that Mr. Rosso believes in.'
Harold · Mr. Rosso: Harold to Rosso: 'Uh, Led Zeppelin is actually the name of a popular rock band.' / Rosso: 'I KNOW WHO LED ZEPPELIN IS!'
Lindsay: Lindsay erupts in uncontrollable laughter in the middle of Daniel's emotional Track 3 speech — in front of both sets of adults
Lindsay Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Harold: Harold's diagnosis of Lindsay's laughter: 'I think it's a nervous reaction. Tense situation.'
Harold Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Callback Jean · Harold: Jean: 'Look, she's as high as a kite!' / Harold: 'My daughter is not high!'
Lindsay · Mr. Kowchevski · Harold: Lindsay, still laughing: 'TRACK THREE!' / Kowchevski: 'I asked him to do one question. He could not even do one question.' / Harold: 'She's a Track One girl!'
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