Lucy

Andy · Lucy:Andy asks the bartender out: 'Hey, uh, would you wanna get a drink tomorrow night?' / Bartender: 'Does it have to be here?' / Andy: 'No.' / Bartender: 'Then sure. I'm Lucy.'

Tom · Lucy:Tom meets Lucy the bartender: 'Hey, uh, would you wanna get a drink tomorrow night?' Lucy: 'Does it have to be here?' Tom: 'No.' Lucy: 'Then sure.' — she gives him her number.

Lucy:Lucy's talking head: 'You guys know Tom really well, so I don't have to apologize for his behavior, right?'

Ron Swanson · Lucy:Ron's handshake introduction to Lucy: 'My father told me that a limp handshake was for weak men and Communists. He hated both.'

Tom Haverford · Chris Traeger · Lucy:Tom shows up at Ann's house, introduces his girlfriend Lucy. 'Tom Haverford. Who's your friend?' Tom: 'What the hell? Get out of here, dude!'

Lucy:Lucy's flat correction: 'Uh, it's nothing to do with Twilight.'

Tom · Lucy:Tom suggests if they'd stayed together Lucy would have 'dumped me for Ron.' Lucy: 'Actually, that's the reason.' Tom is bewildered.

Tom · Lucy:Lucy's explanation of Tom's Ron-obsession: 'You talk about it constantly. Well, I can't help it, okay? I mean, he's so manly, and he's my boss. Imagine if your boss was Angelina Jolie, and then one day, she just started dating your ex-boyfriend. Wouldn't that freak you out a little bit?' Lucy: 'Well, not if I had a great new boyfriend, dumbass.'

Lucy:Lucy tells Tom she likes him: 'You're really cute and you're funny and you're small enough for me to throw you around.'

Andy Dwyer · Tom Haverford · Andy Dwyer · Lucy:Head coach of the Chicago Bulls. / No, he's working at a non-profit. / No. What? Am I? / Oh, that sucks.

Andy Dwyer · Lucy:Gryzzl came in, they gave everyone free tablets and Wi-Fi and phones. You can watch Hitch 2 anytime, anywhere! Finally! That's the dream.

Lucy · Andy Dwyer:One XXL, one kid's XL. / Hey! You remembered my size!

Lucy · Tom Haverford:I mean, I'd have to talk to my boyfriend about it first... / Yeah, of course! This is all perfect, and everything's worked out just as I'd hoped.

Lucy · Tom Haverford:I'd have to talk to my boyfriend about it first. / Yeah, of course! This is all perfect, and everything's worked out just as I'd hoped.

Tom Haverford · Andy Dwyer · Lucy:I still don't know what 'claiming allowances' means. I always just put six. / So far, so good. / Dude, you are totally going to jail.

Tom Haverford · Lucy:Lucy breaks up with Conrad (off-screen). Then: she wants to talk about 'that shade Nicki Minaj threw at Jesse Eisenberg at the BAFTA awards.' Tom: 'He deserved it.' Lucy: 'No, he didn't!' Tom: 'Uh, settle in, because I have some very strong feelings about this.'

Ron · Lucy:I normally don't get involved in people's personal affairs, but something about a wedding... I'll just say it. Tom is quite taken with you. He said he'd marry you tomorrow.

Ron · Lucy:Tom wanted to convey that he likes you a great deal. So he said that he could imagine marrying you. And living on an island with your kids. — Wait, now we're on an island? With kids? Plural?

Lucy:Well, I'm only dating you for the free dresses, so...

Tom · Lucy:Tom's simple proposal at The Snakehole Lounge: recreating their first date with a daisy, a failed magic trick, and a card pick — Lucy says yes.

Jean-Ralphio · Tom · Lucy:Jean-Ralphio responds to Tom's engagement by immediately hitting on Lucy: 'So what's your story again? I mean, like, how married are you? You down to clown? You in that rude mood?' / 'Why are you like this?' / 'Pills, baby!'

Tom · Lucy:Tom watching a documentary about his own failures — that he made himself

Lucy:"Who could have predicted that the country would run out of beef?"