S07E11

Hey. Hey, guys, listen. Leslie's gonna walk in and say something that sounds very boring but is actually a really big deal. So when I give the signal, just everybody cheer like crazy.

This is about people who are moving, Garry. Not everything is about you.

Also I'm retiring. That's three, Garry.

Well, you jinxed us, Garry. Thanks a lot.

which is just a real cool thing for a public space.

I wasn't paying attention most of the time. Fortunately, the citizens of Pawnee didn't pay attention either. So if there's credit to take, I will humbly take it. And if there is blame... it's your fault.

I'm realizing I know nothing about the logistics of how to start an underground dance competition, but someone here will.

Oh, yeah, you completely disgraced yourself and destroyed an entire town.

Les-legally Blonde!

What am I supposed to do with these? Yeah, you're right. I should probably keep them. They're a size 6 1/2. Too small for you anyway.

Shia LaBeouf is one hell of a jewelry designer, by the way. Man's really found his calling.

What better place to ask a woman to marry you than an old man's public memorial?

Really makes you consider the 'postulence' of time.

We're born, we survive as long as we're useful, and then we're killed, either by our body's natural decay or by those younger and stronger.

Before I die, I'm freezing my head like Ted Williams. Wait a thousand years, thaw it out, slap it on a robot, keep on balling.

Was he killed by a younger, stronger barber?

Walter Gunderson and his wife had an open marriage. It kept him happy. It kept his wife happy. Hi, Evelyn. And it definitely kept me happy.

Because for 46 wonderful years, he spent night after night exploring every nook and cranny of my body. Grow up, you prudes. We're all adults.

And not just because he was a dynamite lay.

And not just because he was a dynamite lay. Good night, you animal.

A multiplatform media experience, an action movie with explosive graphics, fast cars, and a hero with one mission-- to propose to his lady. A hero named... Tom Haverford.

Over the past 15 years, I have spent nearly $100,000 at your banner store. My credit card company called me about it. Not to question the charges but to sincerely ask me if I was mentally stable.

Oh. What was that thing we ran for again? City councilor. I don't know. All right, if you say so. I tell you, it's so hard to remember boring stuff like that.

Yeah, 'cause I'm getting ready to go on a big trip, to space. That'll be really fun too. Everything in life is always just so fun, right?

I've already been to space. I was the second person to walk on the moon. Buzz Aldrin. Nice to meet you. Nice try. That's the guy from Toy Story.

I sat in the same chair. Salvatore put the same cape over me. Then he'd always ask me about the same thing... nothing. It was perfect.

As you know, I don't believe in tipping, so I will collect my change from your wife.

What am I supposed to be, some kind or rock star?

I came up with a backstory for my character. She's married to a French billionaire, and she has a twin sister, identical, and they keep-- Leslie, you have one line.

Ah, zut alors! - Get 'em, boys! - Freeze! Stunt double.

Lucy, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to marry me.

No, it wasn't. You just destroyed my case.

Really? So you were born in the 1990s? Ooh! Mmhmm.

Money, please! Money, please. My money, please?

And some gross things with those juicy city hall interns. Ga-ga-goink!

Ugh. Being nice made me feel terrible.

I'm gonna turn the mayoral office into my oral office. Boom! Thought of it a second ago, had to pop back in. Had to.

No, that's not it. Are you in my Frisbee golf league? Oh, yeah. I play for the Super Spinners. Oh, I'm on the Frisbee Champs. I named us.

This is from the Isle of Islay in Scotland. This is as Eastern as my wisdom gets.

Whenever my hair feels it has completed its journey, it simply sheds itself off.

I hate you so much. And I love you, my brother.

Hey, it's pizza time. And you've lost it.

I'm a cool dudette. Hey, it's pizza time.

No, no, no, that's just me looking out for you. See, girls get mad horny when you propose. That's why I do it all the time.

I spent so long trying to forget about Ice Town, but it's part of my life. I mean, it set me on this path. It led me to Pawnee, to my job, to Leslie. I like that Ice Town happened, and I don't want to erase it.

Garry Gergich, how would you like to be the next mayor of Pawnee, Indiana? No!

So what's your story again? I mean, like, how married are you? You down to clown? You in that rude mood?

I'm writing an electronic opera about Brittany Murphy, and I do the chandelier design for my friend's drag puppet show.

I'm writing an electronic opera about Brittany Murphy, and I do the chandelier design for my friend's drag puppet show.

Everyone was on their stupid bikes. I was like, 'Ew.'

Look, if you didn't want to be on call 24-7 for emergencies, then you should not have gone into the high-stakes world of banner making!

I'm flying!

I'm flying!