Mr. Pitt

Elaine · Mr. Pitt:The Mr. Pitt scene: Elaine and Mr. Pitt discuss newspaper columnists — 'Although at times he can be rather pedantic.' Mr. Pitt: 'He can be pedantic. He can be pedantic.'

Mr. Pitt · Elaine:Mr. Pitt's elaborate analysis of Bob Herbert (Daily News) vs. Bobby Hebert (Atlanta Falcons QB) — 'H-E-B-E-R-T. Hebert. It's a fun name to pronounce. Try and say it.'

Mr. Pitt:Mr. Pitt is caught eating dessert with a knife and fork in public. 'What the hell are you doing?' 'I am eating my dessert. How do you eat it, with your hands?'

Mr. Pitt:Are you using a fountain pen? They smear. Under no circumstances is ink to be used in this office.

Mr. Pitt · Kramer:Mr. Pitt asks how the 3-D art works; Kramer explains to blur your eyes, then Mr. Pitt can't see it.

Mr. Pitt · Elaine:Why don't you go for me? / How can I go? All they're gonna do is read the report.

Mr. Pitt · Elaine:I didn't send you over there to complain about the name. / I couldn't help it. Moland Springs?

Mr. Pitt:I like the name Moland. I picked it out.

Mr. Pitt:I haven't been on Jenny for three days. All because of this blasted painting.

Elaine · Mr. Pitt:Elaine takes the phone call for Mr. Pitt during an emergency board meeting about the merger, while Mr. Pitt stares at the 3-D poster, then tells the board 'He'll be there.'

Elaine · Mr. Pitt:Mr. Pitt, you have got to stop staring at that poster! / I see something that could be a spaceship. Is it round? Is it pointed?

Mr. Pitt:My goodness. What's happened to me?

Mr. Pitt:I have been accused of wrongdoing, but these false accusations will not deter us. We will annex Poland by the spring at any cost! And our stock will rise high.

Mr. Pitt:Have you gotten all the salt off those pretzels yet?

Mr. Pitt:What in blazes are you listening to?

Mr. Pitt:My father was a stern man. He forbade us to participate in any activities that he thought were associated with the common man. The Thanksgiving Day Parade was first on the list.

Mr. Pitt · Elaine:These are the balloons? Big deal. All I see is Woody Woodpecker. — You got a problem with Woody Woodpecker? — Yeah. What is he, some sort of an instigator? That's right. He's a troublemaker.

Crowd · Mr. Pitt:You popped Woody Woodpecker! — Hey, who invited you anyway? You're a troublemaker.

Elaine · Mr. Pitt:Elaine carefully picking salt off pretzels for Mr. Pitt, one grain at a time.

Elaine · Mr. Pitt:Mr. Pitt identifies a big-band song playing on the radio, and Elaine wins a spot holding a rope under the Woody Woodpecker balloon in the Thanksgiving parade.

Mr. Pitt:Mr. Pitt explains he was forbidden from the parade as a child: 'My father was a stern man. He forbade us to participate in any activities that he thought were associated with the common man. The Thanksgiving Day Parade was first on the list.'

Elaine · Mr. Pitt:Elaine screams at Mr. Pitt: 'Will you SHUT UP? I can't hear!' while trying to identify the song for the radio contest.

Elaine · Mr. Pitt:Oh, I've got it! It's 'Next Stop, Pottersville.' Goody! Yes, yes! 'Next Stop, Pottersville.' You are a genius.

Mr. Pitt · Elaine:Mr. Pitt stares at the balloons and complains: 'These are the balloons? Big deal. All I see is Woody Woodpecker.' Elaine: 'You got a problem with Woody Woodpecker?' Pitt: 'Yeah. What is he, some sort of an instigator?' 'That's right. He's a troublemaker.'

Elaine · Mr. Pitt:Elaine accidentally pops the Woody Woodpecker balloon with the security pin from Mr. Pitt's ID pass.

Mr. Pitt:Pitt on the deflating Woody: 'Hey, who invited you anyway? You're a troublemaker.' — consistent with his earlier characterization of Woody as an 'instigator.'

Mr. Pitt · Elaine:Elaine, are you having a party? / A party? Oh, no, that was just my stupid friend, Jerry. He just left.

Elaine · Mr. Pitt:Elaine arrives to quit, is stopped by Mr. Pitt announcing he's putting her in his will

Mr. Pitt:I spoke to somebody who worked there.

Lenore · Mr. Pitt:'That's him. That's the man who gave me the pills in the drugstore. He's no pharmacist.' — 'Seinfeld? I know that name. He called here earlier for Elaine.'

Elaine · Mr. Pitt:Poison you? Jerry Seinfeld tried to poison you? — What? What? Mr. Pitt, what are you, delirious? He's never even met you. — You're fired, Elaine. Goodbye.