Latka The Playboy

I waited till everybody was over at Mario's because I didn't want to take any more razzing over this.

This is the biggest cockroach in the world... I'm telling you, he barks at the mailman.

Well, it, uh, paralyzes the central nervous system, blocking and then causing cessation of all the metabolic functions. At least, that's what the can says.

I enjoy watching her... she has been in here before. Each time she gets more beautiful than the last.

Can't she tell you're alive by the way you move around and talk and stuff?

We do not, as a matter of fact, have much luck with the women in my country.

Bobby, if I were you, I would go over and say hello. But, unfortunately, I am me.

By golly, I will do it. All right. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, first thing, I promise.

Hello, I am Latka Gravas. You're what? Hello, I am Latka Gravas.

Maybe could I please have a drink with you? Or food? Or... or even gum? Bubble gum?

Then I guess it will not be necessary for us to look for a house over the weekend.

Boy, it sure is a long walk back.

You just go and have a wonderful time with the woman who makes every tissue in my body scream with desire.

Boy, what a nice person.

I want to be an American fun guy taking each day in high gear.

Well, how about the time Tony said his uncle was broke, and I said, 'Well, why doesn't he go to the doctor?'

I am going to 'alter my lifestyle to fit the fast lane.'

Me, I like it.

♪ No bugs allowed ♪ ♪ No bugs allowed. ♪

Hey, I love you guys, you're beautiful.

Hey, Tommy, making any money? What kind of imported beer you got? Schlitz.

I love you, Tommy, you're a mug. Give me one of those.

My name is Vic. I'm into Italian cars, Technics stereos, Australian films and beautiful ladies.

Vic Ferrari? That isn't your real name, is it? Why don't you tell me after you see how I perform on a tight corner.

It's like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hekyll.

Excuse me, I think these people have mistaken me for someone else. I'm a dime a dozen.

Corny, but sincere. Gotcha.

Everybody's beating time with his woman. First Bobby, and now that jerk.

I don't like this authority trip that you're always laying on me, man.

Hey, you just wasted Elvis Costello.

You look like a foreign banana.

Hey, I am out man, read my lips.

Karen is the kind of chick who craves rejection and goes around creating it for herself. So what's a boy to do?

Ooh-hoo, redheads.

Hey, we're all coming from a different direction, and sometimes it doesn't get in synch.

My man, Alex. With a heart as big as his schnoz and a brain as sharp as his profile.

Ooh, hard to get happy after that one.

Ooh, hard to get happy after that one.

You dropped a real load of guano on me today, and I think we should get out our shovels

You dropped a real load of guano on me today, and I think we should get out our shovels and see if we can...

I cry at night. Alex, please help me, you've got to help me. I don't know what to do. I'm stuck inside of here.

I don't like the fast lane.

I remember I was a cute little guy. I had some kind of an accent. But I've worked at it so hard I've been doing it for so long, I just don't remember what I used to sound like.

From here on in, the highway's full of honky-tonks and one-nighters and no place to go when the bars close.

No, no, I'm only fooling. Where is your sense of humor?