Jim And The Kid

Do you like Little League? Yes. Do you like soccer? Yes. You like jail? No!

Terry, uh, what's your last name? I forget. No question he's a match for Banta.

I called the cops. The police. Thumbscrews. Batons.

Just be the card. Be the hat. Don't question! Be.

Does that work for everything? I don't know. It always worked for me for parallel parking.

I might never have turned out to be the man I am today.

Yeah, you see that, kid? Tell us your name before your brain sprouts fungus.

We'll take care of him, Louie. He belongs to our species.

I hate it when they do that! Oh, Elaine.

Where did you say they lived? Nice try, Alex.

You know, he reminds me more and more of myself. He's not going back, and neither am I.

You prod me one more time, I'm gonna show you eight places you can beat a man and leave no marks.

So what? So you're big, so you're black, so you got a badge, so you got a gun. I'm a dead man.

The one I established a liking for so quickly?

Well, they said, 'Go sit in that chair, kid.' So I did. Then after a while, I got up and walked out. Was anybody hurt?

You're the only Jim Ignatowski in the phone book. I know. Isn't it great?

What do you see? Ice cream, popcorn and television. Exactly. What kind of place is this for a kid?

I don't even have Atari.

I can't ride my bike in any streets where there's traffic. Oh, no!

Terry! I'll never send you back to a hellhole like that!

What have you got? Well, sir, we got... uh... chili! Terry... SpaghettiOs.

Good for you. After all, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Let's play catch. In the house? Yeah. Wow! My parents would never let me play catch in the house. Mine, neither.

Well... Parents know a few things.

Well, that's the nice thing about catch. It doesn't have to be long, just so it's good.

If I had dropped out of grammar school, I'd never have been able to drop out of college.

We've all got a little Obi-Wan Kenobi in us.

Of course there is. Don't let anybody fool you. People try to make that complicated. If a tree falls, there's a sound! The bigger the tree, the bigger the sound.

It was The Kinks. She could have worn the blue thing.

Tomorrow... we do history. The '60s, a misunderstood decade.

If you don't mind, will you get it out and re-grout the shower? I'll try. That's all anyone can ask.

Finally I gave in and you know, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I might just start doing it regularly.

I got him a library card.

It's our duty to sound them out about a reward.

Forcing him to take piano lessons, sending him off to camp every summer as if he was a-a camper.

A little spotted puppy who's just sitting around now pining away wondering where his Terry is, tears welling up in his little brown eyes.

This is emotional blackmail. The puppy's name is Snowball.

It's just not gonna be easy explaining to a ten-year-old boy that he's not adopted.

You had 44 cans of it.

Why? Is it time to tidy up his room? He'll be here in plenty of time for summer camp. Don't worry.

Come on, Terry. We have your puppy in the car. See ya, Jim. Thanks!

I just don't know how I'm gonna face him when he discovers that they've found him out.

Grownups make too big a fuss out of good-byes. I used to hate it. 'Say good-bye to your Uncle Harry.' 'Good-bye, Uncle Harry.' 'Good-bye, Jim.'

You don't have to call... you don't have to write. All I ask is that you remember me.

How can you make a simple thing so heart-wrenching? I feel awful. I can't leave now.

Yeah, what're you havin'? Uh, SpaghettiOs, popcorn and herring.

No matter how many leave the nest, it never gets any easier.