Alex runs into his ex-wife, Phyllis, eating alone at a restaurant, and when she tries to reach out to him, he gently tells her he's not interested. Nonetheless, Phyllis shows the next day at the garage to find Alex, but he's out driving. Louie manages to arrange a date with Phyllis, who is particularly vulnerable, having just gone through a divorce. When Alex learns of this (after Louie tries to rub it in), Alex becomes concerned about the depths that Phyllis has sunk to and goes to her hotel to talk. Too late- Louie has already arrived and has already tried to seduce Phyllis, much to her disgust. Alex then takes Phyllis out to dinner, leaving Louie naked in Phyllis' hotel room.
Season 4's tightest episode: 44 jokes in 20 minutes, anchored by character comedy.
Directed by Noam Pitlik · Written by Howard Gewirtz
WAR
46
Wins Above Replacement
“Take My Ex Wife Please” ranks #40 of 114 Taxi episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 79.6 — Elite. The episode packs 44 scored jokes at 2.1 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 6.9 on impact, with Louie landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Louie: I'm gonna order room service, have a nice dinner, relax with a drink...
Louie: And then I'm gonna need oxygen.
Louie Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Phyllis: Is there still something there between us?
Alex: Yeah, Phyllis. Basic human decency.
Alex Setup/Punchline Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Phyllis: You look great! Have you lost weight?
Alex: Yeah, I've lost about thirty pounds.
Phyllis: What's your secret?
Alex: My wife left me.
Latka: Thank you, thank you very much. I am very honored to receive this award. But I must be honest with you - I am not a hero. I am just a simple man who happened to be in the right place at the right time. The truth is, I am a dope.
Latka Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Louie: I don't want to be nobody's rebound. I want to be somebody's first choice.
Louie: I want a woman who's just gotten over a guy, and she's ready to move on to someone better.
Louie: Someone who makes her forget all about her ex.
Louie: Someone like me.
Louie: Wait a minute... I'm always the guy they move on to after the good-looking guy leaves.
Louie: I AM the rebound!
Louie Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 44 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Phyllis: You know, Louie, you're actually kind of cute.
Louie: Yeah, well, don't spread it around. I got a reputation as a weasel to maintain.
Tony: You're speaking French!
Jim: Non, non, non, I'm not speaking French.
Tony Jim Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Latka: Thank you, thank you very much. I am very honored to receive this award. But I must be honest with you - I am not a hero. I am just a simple man who happened to be in the right place at the right time. The truth is, I am a dope.
Latka Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Phyllis: Do you have a table for desperate women?
Waiter: Yes, we do. Right next to the one for the single men.
Tony: This is a really classy place. Look at all these exposed brick walls.
Tony: You know, it used to be different here. They had to add all these bricks to make it look fancy.
Tony Observational Character Comedy Alex: So how long have you two been twins?
Randi: Our whole lives.
Alex: Well, what happens when it runs out?
Alex Absurdist Misdirection ★ Rewatch Alex: You know, I was trying to be funny back there. See, I made a joke about the waiter, and the thing is, it was a play on words. 'Play on words' — that's when you take a word that has multiple meanings, and you use it in a clever way. So anyway, the waiter came by, and I said something about him being 'outstanding in his field,' which, you see, is funny because waiters work in restaurants, not fields, but if you think about it metaphorically...
Alex: I'm losing them, aren't I?
Alex Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jim: Wait, you're twins? How is that possible? I mean, looking at you two, I would've figured you came from completely different gene pools.
Jim Observational Character Comedy Phyllis: You look great! Have you lost weight?
Alex: Yeah, I've lost about thirty pounds.
Phyllis: What's your secret?
Alex: My wife left me.
Phyllis: I don't mind dining alone. I'm perfectly comfortable with it.
Phyllis: I sit at a nice table, order a good wine, enjoy the ambiance...
Phyllis: Though I do tend to read the menu very, very slowly.
Phyllis: And I rearrange the silverware several times.
Phyllis: And I've been known to have lengthy conversations with the waiter about the specials.
Phyllis Observational Cringe/Discomfort Phyllis: Not a big night? Alex, you're going on a double date. That's two women!
Phyllis: Next thing you know, you'll be dating triplets.
Phyllis: Is there still something there between us?
Alex: Yeah, Phyllis. Basic human decency.
Alex Setup/Punchline Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Phyllis: Alex, I need to talk to you about something very important. You know how much I care about you, and I would never do anything to hurt you. But I have to be honest with you—I've been manipulating you this whole time, and I'm ashamed of myself.
Alex: Phyllis, what are you talking about?
Phyllis: Well, that little emotional display I just gave you? That was manipulation too.
Phyllis Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Louie: I don't want to be nobody's rebound. I want to be somebody's first choice.
Louie: I want a woman who's just gotten over a guy, and she's ready to move on to someone better.
Louie: Someone who makes her forget all about her ex.
Louie: Someone like me.
Louie: Wait a minute... I'm always the guy they move on to after the good-looking guy leaves.
Louie: I AM the rebound!
Louie Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Louie: You want to find desperate women? Try the unemployment office.
Louie Character Comedy Observational Louie: She failed the police academy physical test? What happened?
Character: She couldn't do the push-ups.
Louie: Couldn't do push-ups? Well, I'm sure she could do push-ups in other circumstances.
Louie Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Elaine: I'm going to go wash my brain out with soap.
Elaine Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement Louie: What? What's wrong? These are pearls of wisdom!
Louie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Phyllis: Twelve hours? That's fine. I can wait. I'll just sit right here.
Phyllis: I've waited longer than that for a table at Elaine's. I can wait for Alex.
Phyllis Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Louie: I haven't been mentioned? That's wonderful! Finally, a woman who knows how to keep a secret about me.
Louie Reaction Beat Character Comedy Louie: You know, Phyllis, you've got beautiful blinkers.
Phyllis: Blinkers?
Louie: Yeah, your eyes. I call 'em blinkers.
Louie Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Phyllis: I'm busy tonight.
Louie: I hadn't specified when.
Louie Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Louie: Look, I'm sorry for being forward. But you gotta understand - this is my only shot at class.
Louie Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Louie: You know, life is like a sewer. You get out of it what you put into it.
Louie: But every once in a while, you find a flower growing in that sewer, and that makes it all worthwhile.
Louie: That's what this place is to me—a sewer with flowers.
Louie Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Louie: Yeah, well, I ain't cute. I'm handsome.
Louie Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Phyllis: I'm having second thoughts about this.
Louie: Second thoughts? Lady, I'm still dreaming about the first thought!
Louie Reaction Beat Character Comedy Louie: Hey Alex, I'll give you a clue about your date. She's got a nose that makes yours look like a golf ball.
Louie Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Louie: So Alex, how do you feel about sharing?
Alex: I'm fine with sharing, Louie.
Louie: That's good. Because I borrowed your comb this morning.
Alex: YOU WHAT?! My comb?! That's it, we're done! I can't believe you would do that to me!
Louie Character Comedy Escalation Alex: Louie, you can't date my ex-wife!
Louie: Why not?
Alex: Because she's my ex-wife!
Elaine: He's got a point, Louie.
Elaine Reaction Beat Character Comedy Phyllis: Louie? He's not that bad looking. He's got the profile of a young Cary Grant.
Louie: Yeah?
Phyllis: Walter Cronkite.
Phyllis: Alfred E. Neuman.
Phyllis Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Alex Reiger: I've hit bottom. I'm lower than low. I'm like a piece of toilet paper that's been flushed down the toilet, gone through the sewage system, and ended up in the East River.
Alex Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Louie: They're bringing up some Dom Pérignon, a pound of caviar, some oysters, and... oxygen.
Louie Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Louie: I'm gonna order room service, have a nice dinner, relax with a drink...
Louie: And then I'm gonna need oxygen.
Louie Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Phyllis: Louie, I couldn't help but notice you've been looking a little... well-rounded lately.
Louie: What are you trying to say?
Phyllis: Nothing. I'm just saying it's nice that you've chosen to embrace a more relaxed approach to fitness.
Phyllis Observational Character Comedy Louie: Exercise? I get plenty of exercise. *makes rhythmic grunting and moaning sounds* There's my workout routine.
Louie Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Louie: Exercise? I get all the exercise I need. Huff, puff, grunt, groan. That's a workout right there.
Louie: Alex, what are you doing hiding in the bathroom?
Alex: I needed some time alone, Louie.
Louie: Time alone? You're weird, Nardo. You know that? You're really weird.
Alex: Says the man who collects bus transfers and talks to his dispatcher like she's his wife.
Louie Reaction Beat Character Comedy Alex: You know, it's funny. Phyllis and Louie are perfect for each other. They're both crazy in exactly the same way. It's like watching two puzzle pieces that don't fit anywhere else in the world finally find each other.
Alex Irony/Sarcasm Observational Phyllis: You know, sometimes I wonder if Louie is even real or just some sort of horrible fever dream we're all having together.
Phyllis Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Phyllis: A rental service for weird people? What would that even be like?
Phyllis: Hello, Weird People Rentals. Yes, we have someone available. He's socially awkward, makes inappropriate comments, and has terrible hygiene. When do you need him?
Phyllis Absurdist Observational ★ Rewatch Phyllis: Alex, I'm not neurotic. I'm perfectly normal. See? I can go out with you and not worry about a thing.
Phyllis: Well, maybe just one thing. Did you tell anyone else about our date? Because if you did, they might tell someone, and that someone might tell my mother, and my mother will call me seventeen times asking what I'm wearing and whether you're Jewish.
Phyllis: But other than that, totally relaxed. So relaxed. Why do you look concerned? Are you having second thoughts? Oh God, you're having second thoughts, aren't you?
Phyllis Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Phyllis: I want to put your mind at ease about me not being crazy.
Phyllis: But I can't, because I am crazy.
Phyllis Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Louie: Hey, I didn't do nothin'. They did all that by themselves.
Louie Reaction Beat Character Comedy