Tony begins working out with a new cabbie, Lucius, who is a former football player. Tony is in great shape all of a sudden and Lucius inspires Tony to try to get his boxing license reinstated. Tony is not hopeful that the boxing commission will reinstate him, so he is surprised when he gets his license back. In addition, he getes a major fight scheduled with a promising young fighter. Meanwhile, Lucius goes away to Miami to try out for the Dolphins. Without Lucius around, Tony loses his motivation and his training suffers. At the fight, he is getting pummelled until Lucius, who has learned that he has made the Dolphins, arrives to inspire him. With Lucius' support, Tony turns the fight around and knocks out his opponent.
Tony's return generates 41 jokes in 41 minutes—character work carries an otherwise uneven comeback.
Directed by Michael Lessac · Written by Sam Simon
WAR
35.9
Wins Above Replacement
“Tonys Comeback” ranks #32 of 114 Taxi episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 80.1 — Elite. The episode packs 41 scored jokes at 2.1 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.7 on impact, with Tony landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Lucius: You gotta think of the duck, Tony! Think of the duck!
Tony: The duck?!
Lucius: Yeah, man! That duck is countin' on you!
Lucius Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Lucius: Do it for the duck.
Lucius Callback Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jim: I used to dream about world peace, ending hunger, curing disease. Now I dream about a giant cookie.
Jim Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jim: Hello? Yes, this is Jim Ignatowski. The Miami Dolphins? You're calling about the football team? No, no, I'm sorry, I can't help you. I don't know anything about dolphins. I mean, I know they're mammals, they're very intelligent, but I've never actually met one. And I certainly don't know any that play football.
Jim Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Tony: Nobody believes me when I tell the truth.
All Jokes — 41 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Alex: We've been friends for three years.
Jim: Three years? Well, it's nice to meet you.
Alex Jim Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Elaine Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Elaine: Third string? I didn't even know you were in the phone book.
Elaine Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Elaine: So, um, tell me... do you ever think about me when you're with your wife?
Elaine Observational Cringe/Discomfort Tony: That decision was frivolous!
Alex: No, Tony. They weren't being frivolous. They were being bribed.
Alex Setup/Punchline Deadpan/Understatement Tony: Why would someone like you want to be friends with someone like me?
Lucius: I don't know. Why would I?
Alex: Finally, someone's gonna teach Louie a lesson.
Alex Reaction Beat Irony/Sarcasm Lucius: But don't ever touch me.
Lucius Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Tony: You know, if I had you as a trainer when I was coming up, things would've been different.
Lucius: How so?
Tony: I'd probably be broke in a different neighborhood.
Lucius: We have a symbiotic relationship.
Tony: Symbiotic? What's that mean?
Lucius: It means we both benefit from knowing each other.
Tony: Oh, you mean like... parasitic?
Tony Misdirection Character Comedy Tony: (visible relief reaction)
Tony Reaction Beat Physical/Slapstick Tony: So what? Let 'em laugh. At least they're listening to you.
Tony Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Tony: The duck, he's gonna be fine. I'm telling you, the duck is gonna be fine. You gotta have faith in the duck. The duck knows what he's doing. Trust me on this—the duck is gonna be fine.
Tony Running Gag Deadpan/Understatement Callback Lucius: Do it for the duck.
Lucius Callback Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jim: Hello? Yes, this is Jim Ignatowski. The Miami Dolphins? You're calling about the football team? No, no, I'm sorry, I can't help you. I don't know anything about dolphins. I mean, I know they're mammals, they're very intelligent, but I've never actually met one. And I certainly don't know any that play football.
Jim Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jim: Actually, dolphins aren't fish, they're mammals.
Jim: They breathe air through a blowhole.
Jim: Well, technically it's not a hole, it's more of a... modified nostril.
Jim Character Comedy Absurdist Callback Jim: You know, dolphins are so intelligent they can communicate with each other underwater. They use echolocation and everything.
Jim Character Comedy Absurdist Callback Jim: Dolphins are so intelligent. They can communicate with each other underwater, they solve complex problems, they even use tools.
Jim: But you know what really amazes me? They've never had to pay a phone bill.
Jim Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Lucius: Know him? I once broke his ribs.
Lucius Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive Alex: That's quite a friendship you've got there.
Alex Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Tony: Hello, is this the boxing commission? Yeah, hi, I'm calling about my fighter. No, no, he's fine, he's fine. Look, I got some bad news about the fight tomorrow night. Yeah, well, the thing is, he can't fight. No, he's not injured or anything. It's just that... he's dead. No, no, I'm not joking. He died this afternoon. Yeah, well, here's what I'm thinking. Tomorrow night, I show up with another guy, same weight, same reach, I tell everybody it's him, he just got a real good tan.
Tony Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Tony: Nobody believes me when I tell the truth.
Tony: I'm telling you, Alex, it's the truth! I swear on my mother's life!
Alex: You'd do that for a five-dollar bill.
Tony Alex Setup/Punchline Misdirection ★ Rewatch Elaine: The Dolphins? That's great! You know, I loved that show.
Elaine: I was in a beauty pageant, and they asked me what I wanted to do with my life, and I said 'I want to be a flight attendant and see the world.'
Louie: That's the dumbest thing I ever heard.
Jim: I used to dream about world peace, ending hunger, curing disease. Now I dream about a giant cookie.
Jim Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Duke: Hey Tony, why you been skipping all your workouts at the gym?
Tony: I've been busy, Duke. I got a good reason.
Duke: Yeah? What's the reason?
Tony: Game shows.
Duke Character Comedy Observational Tony: You know, I've been thinking about all my lazy habits. I smoke too much, I drink too much, I don't exercise.
Alex: Well, Tony, I'd be happy to help you break those bad habits.
Tony: Yeah? How?
Alex: I could hold your cigarettes while you're not looking, hide your bottle, and tie you to the back of my cab while I drive around the city.
Alex Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Tony: You know, Alex, you're like a boxer who's always looking at the canvas instead of your opponent. You're so busy looking down, you don't see the knockout coming.
Tony Deadpan/Understatement Callback Callback Tony: The referee made a bad decision in that fight.
Alex: What do you mean? The referee's decision was fine.
Tony: No, I mean my decision to fight in the first place.
Louie: Your Uncle Emilio is dead? When did this happen?
Louie: Well, don't just stand there looking like a human raisin. Tell me what happened!
Aunt Lucia: Uncle Emilio, he went to the park to feed the pigeons like always. But this time, the pigeons, they were so hungry, so many of them. They surrounded him, and he couldn't get away. The pigeons, they ate him alive!
Aunt Lucia: When they found him, there was nothing left but his hat and his bag of breadcrumbs.
Aunt Lucia: Louie, I need to ask you something. When I die, I want a nice funeral. A real nice one.
Louie: Don't worry about it, Ma. I'll take care of everything.
Aunt Lucia: You promise? I want flowers, a nice casket, a good priest...
Louie: Ma, forget about it. Here's what we'll do — when you die, we'll just throw you in the East River. Save everybody a lot of money.
Louie Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Louie De Palma: Family curses? What family curses?
Aunt Lucia: You don't give me the money, I'm gonna put a curse on you.
Louie De Palma: A curse? What kind of curse?
Aunt Lucia: The kind where you never make another dime the rest of your life.
Louie De Palma: That's not a curse, that's a prediction.
Aunt Lucia: Tony, he's gonna be okay, right?
Louie: Of course he's gonna be okay. I got fifty bucks says he's out cold for ten minutes.
Aunt Lucia: You bet on my nephew getting knocked out?
Louie: Yeah, and I won!
Aunt Lucia: Louie, that's beautiful!
Louie De Palma: You're gonna get destroyed out there. This ain't gonna be a fight, it's gonna be an execution.
Tony Banta: Yeah? Well, I've been executed before. I'm still here.
Tony: Hey, no problem! I'm okay! I'm okay!
Tony: You know, that guy didn't mean it. He's probably just having a bad day.
Tony: Besides, I needed the exercise anyway.
Tony Alex Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement Alex: I'm done. I'm quitting.
Lucius: No, no, no! You can't quit!
Alex: Why not? I've had it!
Lucius: Because you're the only one holding the towel!
Tony: Fire me up? The crowd doesn't even know I'm here. I could disappear tomorrow and nobody would notice.
Crowd: You can do it! You can do it! You can do it!
Crowd Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Lucius: You gotta think of the duck, Tony! Think of the duck!
Tony: The duck?!
Lucius: Yeah, man! That duck is countin' on you!
Lucius Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback