Homers Odyssey

Mrs. Krabappel, I didn't unlock that door.

Uh, sorry, little dudes. Party hardy was tardy.

Hey, Otto. Hey, Ottoman.

This morning I woke up with this one. / Not till you're 14, my little friend.

Oh, please, Mrs. Krabappel, not next to Wendell. He pukes on every bus ride. No offense, Wendell.

Oh.

We all know the tragic story of the young man who stuck his arm out the window and had it ripped off by a big truck coming in the other direction. And I was that boy.

Look, there's our school again. / It's a shortcut, Mrs. K. Trust me.

The song will be 'John Henry Was a Steel Drivin' Man.' / Can I pick the song? / No.

They took Bart Simpson to the graveyard / And they buried him in the sand...

Hey, Wendell, you made it, buddy.

Smilin' Joe Fission. Hi, there, energy eaters.

And these are rods of uranium 235. Hi, Rod. / Hi. Hey. Good to see ya. / Hey, you guys look hot. / Of course we're hot. We're radioactive.

I'll just put it where nobody'll find it for a million years.

Hey, Bart, our dad says your dad is incompetent. / What does incompetent mean?

It means he spends more time yakking and scarfing down doughnuts than doing his job. / Oh, okay. I thought you were putting him down.

you know, I defy anyone to tell the difference between these doughnuts and ones baked today.

Come on, Simpson. If they wanted the kids to see you sitting around on your butt and stuffin' your face, they'd take them on a tour of your house.

All right. Who's responsible for this? I might have known it was you, Simpson.

Supervising technician at the toxic waste dump. / I'm no supervising technician. I'm a technical supervisor.

You've caused plenty of industrial accidents, and you've always bounced back.

Is Mr. Freely there? / Who? / Freely. First initials 'I.P.' / Hold on. I'll check. Uh, is I.P. Freely here?

You'll get that punk someday, Moe. / Ah, I don't know. He's tough to catch. He keeps changing his name.

You think you can still do that kind of work? / Sure. You never forget. It's just like riding a bicycle.

All he does is lie there like an unemployed whale.

There's only one thing we can do: take advantage of the old guy.

Duff, the beer that makes the days fly by.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

Wait a minute. Let me count and make sure. Not even close.

Oh, looks like young Simpson is going to kill himself. Well, maybe not. Maybe he's just taking his boulder for a walk.

Kill myself? Killing myself is the last thing I'd ever do.

Cool, man.

boys and girls, retired people with nothing better to do.

If they think I'm gonna stop at that stop sign, they're sadly mistaken.

Now people won't be caught off guard by that little 'mm-mmm' in the road.

Thank you. Unlike most of you, I am not a nut.

That's Homer Simpson, sir. He used to work here in the plant, but we fired him for gross incompetence.

Our lives are at the hands of men no smarter than you or I, many of them, incompetent boobs.

Gee, this guy's desk sure is big. I can't let Marge support the family. This guy's got the cleanest shirt I've ever seen.

Mmm, what the hey. I'll take the job.

you mean, you're willing to give up a good job and a raise just for your principles? / Mmm. When you put it that way, it does sound a little farfetched, but that's the lug you're lookin' at!

Of course, I'd have a lot less of those free minutes if you gave me the job.

Mmm. You're not as stupid as you look or sound or our best testing indicates.

you have to learn that there's a little Homer Simpson in all of us.